Essex Girls

Part Two



Q: What do you call a London girl with an Essex girl on either side?

A: An interpreter.


Q: What do you say to an Essex girl that won't give in?

A: "Have another beer."


Q: What do Essex girls do with their arseholes in the morning ?

A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.


Q: What's the first thing an Essex girl does in the morning?

A1: Introduces herself.

A2: Walks home.


Q: How does an Essex girl like her eggs in the morning?

A: Unfertilized.


Q: Why did God give Esex girls legs?

A: Have you seen the mess slugs make?


Q: What's the first thing an Essex girl does after sex?

A: Opens the car door.


Q: How do Essex girls turn the light on after sex ?

A: She opens the car door.


Q: Why do Essex girls like tilt steering?

A: More head room.


Q: Why do Essex girls drive cars with sunroofs?

A: More leg room.


Q: What is the worst thing about sex with an Essex girl?

A: Bucket seats.


Q: What do Essex girls say after sex?

A1: Thanks boys.

A2: Are you boys all in the same band?

A3: Do you all play for the same team?


Q: What important question does an Essex girl ask her mate before having sex?

A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?


Q: Why do Essex girls have trouble achieving orgasm?

A: *Who cares?*


Q: Why do Essex girls have orgasms ?

A: So they know when to stop having sex !


Q: How do you tell when an Essex girl reaches orgasm ????

A1: She drops her nail-file!!!

A2: Who cares?

A3: She says 'Next'

A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder

A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes

A6: I mean, who really cares?

A7: The batteries have run out.

A8: She drops her chips


Q: What does an Essex girl say when you blow in her ear?

A: "Thanks for the refill!"


Q: What's the difference between the Blackpool tower and an Essex girl?

A: Not everybody's been up the Blackpool tower.

59.
Q: How many Essex girls does it take to change a lightbulb?

A1: "What's a lightbulb?"

A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

A3: Two. One to hold the Bacardi, and one to yell, "Daaady!"


Q: What's an Essex girl's favourite wine?

A: "Daaaady, I want to go to Eee-bee-zah!"


Q: What does a peroxide Essex girl and a 747 have in common?

A1: They both have a black box.

A2: Both have a cockpit.


Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and a 747?

A: Not everyone has been in a 747


Q: What does a dumb Essex girl say when she gives birth?

A: Duh, are you sure it's mine?


Q: What did the Essex girl say when she found out she was pregnant?

A: "Are you sure it's mine?"


Q: What do you call 10 Essex girls standing ear to ear?

A: A wind tunnel.


Q: What do you call 15 Essex girls in a circle?

A: A dope ring.


Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb Essex girl, and a smart

Essex girl are walking down the street when they spot a 10 pound note. Who picks it up?

A: The dumb Essex girl! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart Essex girl.


Q: Why did the Essex girl scale the glass wall?

A: To see what was on the other side.


Q: What do you do when an Essex girl throws a hand grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.


Q: Why do Essex girls take the pill?

A: So they know what day of the week it is.


Q: Why did the Essex girl stop using the pill?

A: Because it kept falling out.


Q: Why did the Essex girl have a sore navel?

A: Because her boyfriend was also from Essex!


Q: If an Essex girl and a brick are thrown off a building, which hits the ground first?

A: The brick. The Essex girl has to stop to ask for directions.


Q: What happens when an Essex girl gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up!


Q: Whats the difference between an Essex girl and a Porsche?

A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.


Q: What is the difference between butter and an Essex girl?

A: Butter is difficult to spread.


Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and a bowling ball?

A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

A2: You can't fit the Essex girl in the bowling ball.


Q: What do a bowling ball and an Essex girl have in common?

A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.


Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and "The Titanic"?

A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".


Q: What is the difference between a smart Essex girl and Bigfoot?

A: Bigfoot has been spotted.



Up Back Part Three Men Jokes Back To School Dark Sucker Sports Travel Potpourri Women



Cafe