Lets get on with more jokes:

The Mafia
Boat Trouble

THE MAFIA

The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police, they decided to use a deaf-mute person for this job because if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.

Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picked up over $40,000 and got greedy and decided to keep the money and stashed it in a safe place.

The mafia soon realized that their collection was late and sent some of their gangsters after the deaf collector. When the gangsters found the deaf collector and asked him where the money was, the deaf collector couldn't communicate with them. So the mafia guys took the guy to a sign language interpreter.

The mafia hood said to the interpreter, "Ask him where the money is."

The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"

The deaf man replied, "I don't know what you're talking about."

The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about".

The gangster pulled out a gun and placed it in the ear of the deaf collector. "NOW, ask him where the money is."

The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?"

The deaf man signed back, "The $40,000 is in a tree stump in Central Park."

The interpreter's eyes lit up and said to the gangster, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about and he doesn't think you have the balls to pull the trigger."

BOAT TROUBLE

A man was trapped on a deserted island that was sinking into the sea. As the water lapped around his feet, a motor boat suddenly approached the island.

"Come on, man, get in!" said the boatman.

"No," said the guy on the island, "I have faith in Jesus. He will save me!"

The boat went off and the water continued to rise. When it was up to the guy's chest, another boat appeared.

"Get in the boat, or you're going to drown!" said the boatman.

Again, the guy said, "No, I have faith in Jesus. He will save me!"

The boat went off and the water continued to rise. When it was up to the guy's chin, a third boat appeared.

"Get in, this is your last chance!"

"No, Jesus will save me!"

So the boat went off, the water continued to rise and the guy drowned. He went up to heaven and was greeted by Jesus.

"Hey, Jesus," he said, "I trusted in you all my life and you let me drown! I don't believe it!"

"YOU don't believe it?" Jesus said, "I sent three fucking boats to save you!!"