Lets get on with more jokes:

The Pope's Chauffeur
Equal Opportunity
The Pearly Gates

THE POPE'S CHAUFFEUR

One day the Pope is coming out of a meeting in New York. He gets into his limo, and the limo driver pulls out and gets on the freeway. The Pope taps on the glass, and says "I haven't driven a car in years. Would you mind if I drove?"

The limo driver says "I'm really not supposed to do that.

The Pope replies "I have my license and everything. I won't tell a soul." The limo driver still won't do it. Finally, the Pope says "What if I told you that if you let me drive, you'll go straight to heaven."

The limo driver pulls over and they switch places.

The Pope takes off. 50 MPH. 60 MPH. He's flying down the road at 90 MPH when a cop pulls out and chases him down. The cop gets out, taps on the window, and the Pope rolls it down.

The cop says "Hold on one minute." He goes back and radios dispatch, saying "What are we supposed to do if we pull over someone REALLY important?" The dispatcher says "Like who?" The cop says "I mean somebody REALLY REALLY important!"

The dispatcher says "Who is it?" The cop says "I mean, this guy is REALLY REALLY REALLY important!!"

The dispatcher yells "Well who is it?!"

The cop says "I don't know, but he has the Pope as his chauffeur!"

EQUAL OPPORTUNITY

One day, a sign appeared in an office window. It read: "Help wanted. Must type seventy words a minute. Must be computer literate. Must be bilingual. An equal opportunity employer." A dog ambling down the street saw the sign, walked in, and applied for the job.

The office manager said, "I can't hire a dog for this job." The dog pointed to the line: "An equal opportunity employer."

So the manager said, "Okay, take this letter and type it." The dog went off to the typewriter and returned a minute later with the finished letter, perfectly typed.

The manager said: "Here's a problem. Write a computer program for it and run it." Fifteen minutes later, the dog came back with the correct answer.

The manager still wasn't convinced. "I can't hire a dog for this position," he said. "You've got to be bilingual."

The dog looked up at the manager and said, "Meow."

THE PEARLY GATES

A woman who died found herself standing outside the Pearly Gates, being greeted by St. Peter. She asked him, "Oh, is this place what I really think it is? It's so beautiful. Did I really make it to heaven?"

To which St. Peter replied, "Yes, my dear, these are the Gates to Heaven. But you must do one more thing before you can enter." The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do to pass through the gates.

"Spell a word," St. Peter replied.

"What word?" she asked.

"Any word," answered St. Peter. "It's your choice."

The woman promptly replied, "Then the word I will spell is love. L-o-v-e."

St. Peter congratulated her on her good fortune to have made it to Heaven, and asked her if she would mind taking his place at the gates for a few minutes while he went to the bathroom.

"I'd be honored," she said, "but what should I do if someone comes while you are gone?"

St. Peter reassured her, and instructed the woman simply have any newcomers to the Pearly Gates to spell a word as she had done. So the woman is left sitting in St. Peter's chair and watching the beautiful angels soaring around her, when lo and behold, a man approaches the gates, and she realizes it is her husband.

"What happened?" she cried, "Why are you here?" Her husband stared at her for a moment, then said, "I was so upset when I left your funeral, I was in an accident. And now I am here? Did I really make it to Heaven?"

To which the woman replied, "Not yet. You must spell a word first. "What word?" he asked. The woman responded, "Czechoslovakia."