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Little Johnny Asks
Little Johnny In Class

LITTLE JOHNNY ASKS

Little Johnny and his father were walking down the street one day, and two ladies bumped into one another in front of them. The one lady looked at the other and slapped her across the face. "You bitch," yelled the one lady. Stunned, the lady that was slapped yelled out, "You bag."

Little Johnny, never heard those words before, turns to his dad. "Dad, what are bags and bitches?"

"Oh, that's just another name for women," replied his dad.

"Oh, okay," said Johnny.

The two make it home and Little Johnny follows his dad up to the washroom to watch his daddy shave. While shaving, Little Johnny's dad cuts himself. "Oh shit," he said.

"Daddy, what's shit?" asked Little Johnny.

"Oh, that's just another name for shaving your self," replied his father.

Bored, Little Johnny wanders downstairs to find his mother cooking a turkey. As his mother reached into the oven, she burnt her hand. "Fuck!" she yells.

"Mom, what's fuck?" questionned Johnny.

"That's just another word for cooking the turkey."

"Oh, I get it," said Johnny.

All of a sudden, the doorbell rings. "I'll get it!" yells Johnny as he runs to the door. He then opened the door to find a group of old ladies standing outside.

"Hello young man. Are you parents home?" asked the front lady.

"Hello bags and bitches. My dad's upstairs shitting himself and my mom's downstairs fucking the turkey."

LITTLE JOHNNY IN CLASS

The teacher asks the question, "What part of your body gets to heven first?"

Three students raise their hand, Jenny, Jim, and little Johnny in the back.

The teacher things to herself, "I dont want to call on Johnny cause he will say something perverted."

So she picks on Jenny first who says, "I think your head gets to heaven first cause you have to be smart."

The teacher then calls on Jim who says, "I think your heart gets to heaven first cause you gotta have a good heart." Finally Johnny is the only one with his hand up.

The teacher says to herself "Oh no, I gotta pick Johnny." She picks him and he says, "I think your feet get to heaven first."

The relieved teacher asks him, "Why on earth do you think your feet get to heaven first?"

Johnny says, "Cause I walked into my Mom and Dad's room last night and my mom's feet were straight up in the air and she was sayin 'Oh God I'm cummin'!'"