Lets get on with more jokes:

Two Prostitutes
The Dead Businessman
Three Nuns Go To Heaven

TWO PROSTITUTES

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "TWO PROSTITUTES -- £100."

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."

One of the girls asked the cop: "How come you don't stop them?!"

"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."

So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.

The following day found the same cop in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy bust, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER -- £100."

THE DEAD BUSINESSMAN

There was a businessman who had recently died and gone to heaven. When he met St. Peter at the pearly gates, St. Peter asked him: "Would you like to go to heaven or hell?"

The businessman then says: "You mean I have a choice?"
St. Peter says: "Yes, and most people usually choose hell."
Surprised, the businessman says: "Well I'm gonna certainly choose heaven."
St. Peter says: "I'll let you try both for three days, after which you tell me which you like better."

So first the businessman goes to heaven. Everything is very peaceful, serene, and quiet. Then after three days, he nervously goes to hell. After waiting a few minutes, Satan comes up to him, gives him a fast car, beautiful women, and invites him to a gigantic party. He has the best time of his life.

So after the three days, St. Peter says: "So, which do you want?"
The businessman goes: "I'm surprised that I'm saying this, but I'd rather go to hell!"

So right away, he is sent to hell, but there is nothing around but fire, misery, and torture. He goes to Satan and says: "What happened to all the booze, parties, and women?"
Satan says: "Well, first you were a prospect, now you're a customer."

THREE NUNS GO TO HEAVEN

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want."

The first Italian nun says (thick Italian accent, con brio), "I vant-a to be-a Sophia Loren-a" and (poof!) she's gone.

The second says, "I vant-a to be-a Madonna" and (poof!) she's gone.

The third says, "I vant-a to be-a Sara Pipalini."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No Sister, this says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days'! "