Lets get on with more jokes:

The Presidential Clock
A Man Comes Home
The Date

THE PRESIDENTIAL CLOCK

Laura walked into the White House for her first day of her internship and was greeted by the President. After a short tour of the White House the President asked "How would you like to see the Presidential clock'"?

Laura looked trouble and said "I don't know, Mr. President. I have heard some pretty bad things about you. I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Nonsense" said the President."its just a clock". Laura agreed and the president lead her into the oval office where they were alone. As he closed the door he dropped his pants and pulled out his cock.

Laura gasped."Oh! That's not the Presidential clock......that's the Presidential cock!"

To which the president responded: "Laura honey, you put a face and two hands on it and it's a clock!"

A MAN COMES HOME

A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialling, his four year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You bastard!!!" says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around the house naked scaring the kids?"

THE DATE

This young freshman finally gets a date with a beautiful woman in one of his university classes. But she tells him that before they can go on a date he has to come over and have dinner with her family. Well the young man isn't too fond of the idea but the woman is too gorgeous to refuse.

The rest of the day the young man worries and frets. He gets so worried that he starts to build up a lot of gas. But he makes it to her house and is invited inside.

The dinner was excellent and afterwards the young woman's father starts to read the paper. The young man's gas has built to a level that his bowels cannot contain anymore so he decides to let a little fart go.

Phht..... The father rolls down his paper at the sound and says "Spot....". The young man looks around confused by this comment and spies a old sheepdog behind his chair. "Great! The old man must think the dog is doing it!!" So he decides to let a bigger fart go.

PhhhhTTTTT.... The father takes off his glasses and rolls down his paper. "SPOT!....." he says in an annoyed tone. The young man feels much better and decides to let one more fart go to relieve all the gas.

PPPPHHHHTTTTPOW!!!!.....The father rips his glasses off and throws the paper to the floor.

"SPOT YOU DEAF BAG OF FUR.....GET AWAY FROM THAT MAN BEFORE HE SHITS ON YOU"