Lets get on with more jokes: Christmas Accident CHRISTMAS ACCIDENT Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves
at the pearly gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they are told
that they must present something "Christmassy." in order to get
in. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the
family's Christmas tree. He is let in. The second man presents a bow and some ribbon, from presents that were
opened earlier in that night. So he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of panties. Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these
represent Christmas?" To which he replies, "Oh, They're Carol's." THE CAROLLING PARROT A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a
unique gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what
he's looking for, a beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas
carols. He brings the husband over to a colourful but quiet bird. The man agrees
that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing.
The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls
out a lighter. The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under
Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing, "Silent Night,
Holy Night." The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches
as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now
starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way."
The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him. The husband
rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift
immediately. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special
talent. Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the
bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter under the
right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells." The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her
husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead.
Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the
bird begins to sing, "Chet's Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!"
The Carolling Parrot
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