Lets get on with more jokes:

Into Battle
Heart Transplant
Little Johnny Back In Class
Little Johnny Again

INTO BATTLE

Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle.

"That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'."

"But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit.

The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'."

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.

The recruit points the broom. "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens.

Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit.

The German keeps coming.

"Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!"

It's no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says.....

"Tankety Tank Tank."

HEART TRANSPLANT

A prostitute went to visit a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to have a heart transplant.

The woman, concerned about her friend's welfare, went up to the surgeon who was going to perform the operation and said "Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the organ?"

The doctor replied "Well, she's thirty four years old and is in extremely good health apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"

The patient's friend replied "She's been working since she was eighteen years old, but what's that got to do with anything?"

"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for sixteen years and hasn't rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"

LITTLE JOHNNY BACK IN CLASS

A school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"

First little girl says "The sky is definitely blue"

Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be grey, or orange..."

Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green"

"Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown..."

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks.. "Does a fart have lumps?"

The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"

"OK... then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..."

LITTLE JOHNNY AGAIN

The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living. One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer. When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said "My mom's a whore."

Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. Then, fifteen minutes later, he returned. So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?"

Johnny said, "Yes."

"Well, what did the principal say?"

"He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me an apple and asked for my phone number..."