Lets get on with more Men:

Reasons Why Cookie Dough Is Better Than Men
Types Of Boyfriend

REASONS WHY COOKIE DOUGH IS BETTER THAN MEN

It's enjoyable hard or soft.

It makes a mess too, but it tastes better.

It doesn't mind if you take your anger out on it.

You always want to swallow.

It won't complain if you share it with friends.

It's "quick and convenient".

You can enjoy it more than once.

It comes already protectively wrapped.

You can make it as large as you want.

If you don't finish it you can save it for later.

It's easier to get the kind you want.

You can comparison shop.

It's easier to find in a grocery store.

You can put it away when you've had enough.

You know yours has never been eaten before.

It won't complain if you chew on it.

It comes chocolate flavored.

You always know when to get rid of it.

You can return it--satisfaction is guaranteed.

It's always ready to go.

You won't get arrested if you eat it in public.

You don't have to change the sheets if you eat it in bed.

It won't wake you up because it's hard.

You don't have to find an excuse not to eat it.

You can tell your friends how much you've eaten without sounding like you're bragging.

It won't take up room in your bed.

It's easy to pick up.

You never have unwanted cookie dough chasing you around.

You know what the extra weight is from.

It won't get jealous if you pick up another one.

It never has an insecurity problem with its size.

It is very pliable.

TYPES OF BOYFRIEND

Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?"
Also known as Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft- boiled Egg, Snugglepup
Advantages Well-behaved; irons own shirts
Disadvantages Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy

Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV."
Also known as Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover. Jerk
Advantages Stays put; predictable
Disadvantages Royal pain in the ass

Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did."
Also known as Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you
Advantages Jumps entertainingly when startled
Disadvantages Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle

Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'."
Also known as Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb
Advantages Can tote bales; is easily fooled
Disadvantages Can break you in half, sweats like a pig

Lazybones - "Zzzzzz"
Also known as Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict
Advantages Well rested; easy target
Disadvantages Unlikely to fulfil your dreams

The Sneak - "Who, me?"
Also known as Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a Bitch
Advantages May feel pangs of guilt
Disadvantages May be having time of his life

Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?"
Also known as The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster
Advantages Perpetually aroused
Disadvantages Perpetually aroused

The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--"
Also known as Struggling artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind, Fool
Advantages Tells good stories
Disadvantages Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus"

Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?"
Also known as Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy
Advantages Answer to a woman's prayer
Disadvantages Hunted to extinction