Lets go back to school:

Excuses For Not Doing The Mathematics Homework
Rules Kids Won't Learn In School

EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATHEMATICS HOMEWORK

I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.

Isaac Newton's birthday.

I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.

I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.

I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.

I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.

I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.

I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.

I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.

I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.

RULES KIDS WON'T LEARN IN SCHOOL

Life is not fair. Get used to it.

The real world won't care as much about your self esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock.

Sorry, you won't make £40,000 a year right out of high school.

If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss.

Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.

It is not your parents' fault. If you screw up, YOU are responsible.

Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room, and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are.

Life is not divided into semesters. You won't get summers off.

Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look like a moron.

You are not immortal.

Your school may be outcome-based. Life isn't.

Enjoy this while you can.