Lets go back to school:

Conversations With Teacher

CONVERSATIONS WITH TEACHER

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

GEORGE : Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

CLASS : George!

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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WILLY : Me!

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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?

TOMMY : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

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GARY : I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.

TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

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TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.

DON : I hope you didn't either.

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TEACHER: Why are you late?

WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." That's what I did.

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TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.

FATHER : What's that?

TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

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TEACHER: In this box, I have a ten foot snake.

SAMMY : You can't fool me, teacher. Snakes don't have feet.

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HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?

JOSE : Don't bite any.

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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".

ELLEN : I is...

TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say "I am."

ELLEN : All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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TEACHER: Toby, what are you doing under your desk?

TOBY : Didn't you tell us to read Dr.Jekyll and Hyde (hide)?

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TEACHER: Max, use "defeat," "defence" and "detail" in a sentence.

MAX : The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defence before detail.

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TEACHER: If you received £10 from 10 people, what would you get?

SASHA : A new bike.

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TEACHER: Why are you late?

AMOS : I lost my quarter.

TEACHER: And why are you late, Oliver?

OLIVER : I was standing on it.

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TEACHER : If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

VINCENT : One dollar.

TEACHER : You don't know your arithmetic.

VINCENT : You don't know my father.

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TEACHER : If I had 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what would I have?

CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!