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Teaching Maths
Sexism Studies Examination

TEACHING MATHS

Teaching Maths in 1950 : A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Maths in 1960 : A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or £80. What is his profit?

Teaching Maths in 1970 : A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M". The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M". Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?

Teaching Maths in 1980 : A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Maths in 1990 : By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes £20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.

Teaching Maths in 1996: By laying off 402 of its loggers, a company improves its stock price from £80 to £100. How much capital gain per share does the CEO make by exercising his stock options at £80? Assume capital gains are no longer taxed, because this encourages investment.

Teaching Maths in 1997: A Company outsources all of its loggers. They save on benefits and when demand for their product is down the logging work force can easily be cut back. The average logger employed by the company earned £50,000, had 3 weeks vacation, and received a nice retirement plan and medical insurance. The contracted logger charges £50 an hour. Was outsourcing a good move?

SEXISM STUDIES EXAMINATION

Time allowed 3 hrs. Attempt all questions. If you do not know the answer to a particular question attempt to look at someone else's paper by knocking your biro onto the floor and having a shifty while you lean over to retrieve it.

You are allowed one visit to the toilet to look at the answers you wrote on the wall yesterday. After ten minutes, request more paper to frighten the other candidates into thinking that you must have written loads.

Attempt to introduce the one or two facts you are reasonably sure of into the answers to every question. At 4.30 exactly, everybody cough to make the invigilator jump. With three minutes to go, suddenly realise there are 4 more questions on the back of the page that you haven't spotted.

Section A (50%)

1. Explain why the best women's football team in the world wouldn't stand a chance against you and ten of your mates.

Include in your answer:

a) Why they are unable to kick a ball straight

b) What you wouldn't mind doing with them in the bath after the match, though.

2. Pamela Anderson's tits are plastic but look good in photographs. Compare and contrast the relative merits of plastic and real tits for recreational purposes.

3. It is a long established fact that fat lasses are more grateful for it. Outline some of the reasons why this is so, and explain why all feminists are fat, ugly lesbians.

4. Write a critique of any ONE of the following films you have watched at your mates house while his parents were away for the weekend.

a) Sex Boat

b) Three Into One Will Go

c) King Dong

d) Speared by Zulu Lovers

5. Women drivers, eh? Discuss.

Section B (50%)

1. Describe an experiment to impress a girl by lighting a fart. What apparatus would you require? What risks would you run in lighting a fart and what are the benefits? Write a balanced chemical equation to describe the reaction that takes place when an eggy fart is lit in a pub with a match.

2. Name something a woman has invented.

3. On average, women live 7 years longer than men yet get their pension 5 years earlier. Explain why this isn't fair, making reference to your lazy old granny who lived to be 100 and your poor granddad who worked 52 years down the pit and died the day before he retired.

4. Argue heatedly over the respective merits of the Lamborghini Diablo and the Ferrari Testarossa without ever having seen, let alone driven, either.

5. Discuss the philosophical implications of this statement; "If a man speaks in a forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?"