Lets go on our travels:

London Signs
Buzz Word Easy Reference Guide

LONDON SIGNS

IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.

IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.

ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.

BUZZ WORD EASY REFERENCE GUIDE

"Essentially complete" - Half done.

"Impact being determined" - Where the hell are we?

"We predict" - We hope to God!

"Drawing release is lagging" - Not a single drawing exists.

"Risk is high, but acceptable" - 100 to 1 odds, or with 10 times the budget and 10 times the manpower, we may have a 50/50 chance.

"Is producing increasingly good copies" - It can now be read with the naked eye.

"Schedule resolution has a high priority" - When we get around to it we'll find out where we are.

"Potential show stopper" - All program teams have updated their resumes.

"Serious, but not insurmountables, problems" - It will take a miracle. God should be the program manager.

"Basic agreement, however" - The S. O. B.'s won't even talk to each other.

"Results are being quantified" - We are massaging the numbers so they'll agree without conclusion.

"Very difficult to maintain the field" - The bill of laden should call out 3 service reps to be shipped with each unit.

"Task force to review" - Gathering 7 incompetents for a decision.

"Not well defined" - Nobody's thought about it.

"Requires further analysis and management attention" - Totally out of control.

"Appears to be attainable" - It will take a miracle.

"Less than expected" - Bombed out.

"This is high risk program" - No way we can make launch.

"Schedule exposed" - We slipped three weeks ago.