Lets go on our travels: Only In America ONLY IN AMERICA Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance... Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink... Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry,
and a diet coke... Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens
to the counters... Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes locked in the
garage... Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place... Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight... Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe
the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many"
and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures"..... LIFE AS AN AMERICAN Americans yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the
last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take five
years to pay off. We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a
car if it can’t go over one hundred miles per hour. We know the line up of every baseball team in the American and National
Leagues but mumble through half the words in the Star Spangled Banner. We will spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live
longer, then drive ninety miles per hour on slick pavement to make up for
lost time. We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen-year-old son run wild. We whip any enemy in battle, them give them the shirt off of our backs. We will work hard on a farm so we can move to town where we can make
more money so we can move back on the farm. We run from morning to night trying to keep our earning power up with
our yearning power. We get upset we are spending over a billion dollars for education, but
spend three billion dollars a year on cigarettes. In the office we talk about baseball, shopping, or fishing, but when we
are out at the game, mall, or on the lake, we talk about business. We are one of the most civilized nations on earth, but we still can’t
deliver payrolls without an armored car. We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and
still have more divorces. We are the country with more food to eat than any other country in the
world and more diets to keep us from eating it.
Life As An American
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