Lets go on our travels:

Ways To Celebrate Spring


WAYS TO CELEBRATE SPRING


HOLLAND: Annual Easter Clog Toss ("Watch out, Hans!").

RUSSIA: Get off the mile-long line for firewood; get in the mile-long line for umbrellas.

VATICAN CITY: The Pope presides over the ceremonial casting out the first sinner.

ISRAEL: Throw cute little stuffed animals filled with rocks at the Palestinians.

LIECHTENSTEIN: Send annual "we're still a country" notification to the U.N.

JAKARTA: Child-Labour Factory Number Four switches from making Kathie Lee scarves to Nike running shoes.

CHERNOBYL: Night Parade Of the Glow-In-The-Dark Chickens.

TEHRAN: Can now attend "Death to America" rally in shorts.

BAGHDAD: Before inspectors begin their hunt, replace anthrax eggs with slightly less nauseating Cadbury eggs.

TOKYO: Godzilla turns his fancy from a path of destruction to thoughts of love.

FRANCE: French Army stocks up on white flags at annual White Sale.

PRAGUE: Tank tops (with real tanks).

ENGLAND: Leichester Larry comes out of his flat and smiles. If any teeth are straight, six more weeks of rain, otherwise, five more weeks of rain.

IRELAND: Swimsuit issue of "Soccer Hooligan Illustrated" hits news stands.

BOSNIA: Annual switch to "Daylight Bombing Time" requires setting your quality of life back another decade.

GERMANY: Order the flowers to bloom.



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