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Reasons Why A Modem Is Better Than A Woman
Reasons Why Computers Are Better Than Women

REASONS WHY A MODEM IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN

A modem doesn't ask for a commitment if you use it.

Getting a modem to obey you is as simple as typing "AT".

When you're done using your modem, you can roll over and go to sleep without feeling guilty.

A modem won't say a word if you come home late.

A modem can't collect alimony if you decide to dump it.

A modem will always wait patiently by the phone.

A modem doesn't bitch if you sit and play with the computer all night long.

You can always get a few bucks for an old modem when a faster model comes out.

A modem doesn't mind if you call another modem.

A modem doesn't require any foreplay - just an initialization command.

A virus you catch from your modem doesn't require a trip to the doctor.

You don't have to bring a modem home to meet your parents.

If an error occurs, Abort, Retry or Fail are the only options you have to worry about.

Modems come with an instruction manual.

Modems have a volume control - you can even turn the sound OFF.

REASONS WHY COMPUTERS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

A computer can wait forever for you.

A computer doesn't compare you with it's past users.

A computer doesn't get calls from it's past users while you're logged in.

A computer doesn't mind how excited you get.

A computer doesn't tell you how completely teriffic it's past users have been.

A computer is big in all the right places.

A computer won't ask, "Are you in?"

A computer never forgets your birthday.

A computer won't ask, "Is there another computer?"

A computer won't even talk about marriage.

A computer won't fall in love with you just because you have sex.

A computer won't get bitchy if you're slow to respond.

A computer won't grade you on how much you send it.

A computer won't look through your checkbook.

A computer won't mind how many other accounts you have, or if you keep getting new ones.

A computer won't shave with your razor.

A computer won't say, "Let's just be friends."

A computer's maintainance personel don't cross-examine you every time you log in.

Computers are easy to turn on.

Computers are very responsive.

Computers are ready when you are.

Computers aren't into finding out how far you'll go to keep your account.

Computers do everything you tell them to.

Computers don't care about age differences.

Computers don't care if you're married.

Computers don't get pregnant.

Computers don't get upset if you use other computers.

Computers don't insist on foreplay.

Computers don't make you meet their parents.

Computers won't mind if you don't like their friends.

Computers don't mind if you share them with a friend.

Computers don't mind spending hours on the phone with you.

Computers don't play head games unless you ask them to.

Computers never ask you to call them in the morning.

Computers never have headaches, or take rain checks, or have a curfew, or have that time of the month.

If you don't like the feel of one terminal you can easily switch to another in less than a minute.

Size doesn't count to a computer.

The average computer session lasts four hours.

You can log into several computers at once.

With a computer, you never have to say you're sorry.

You can turn off a computer.

You can visit a computer any time you like, and it'll be up and ready for you.

You don't have to tell computers you love them.