with individuals
 
 

I aim to provide a safe space to explore whatever it is that's troubling you, to ease distress and restore a sense of balance and well-being
 

You may be in acute distress. You may be concerned about a long-term underlying issue. You may be unsure what the matter is. What brings you to counselling may concern one of the following:
 

low self-esteem, self doubt

stress, depression, disconnection

your relationship to food, to money

your relationship to your body

sexual matters

addictive behaviour patterns

self harm

overwhelming feelings: anxiety - grief - rage - jealousy - guilt - shame - emptiness

 relationships with others - partner, parent/s, children, colleagues, friends
 

As a therapeutic counsellor I draw on many humanistic models. Essentially, I respond to you and your own particular needs. Central to my work is nurturing a sense of trust and safety. This is what enables the process - of carefully exploring, discovering and understanding more of yourself, of opening up possibilities, of increasing a sense of aliveness and feeling more in charge of how you express your self and make choices.
 

with couples

I aim to facilitate constructive communication to enable both resolution of a current crisis and exploration of any long-term issue that needs attention. Impartial and non-judgemental, I support both parties in the discovery of different parts of themselves, and in realising how each one operates in the relationship to get needs met.
 

WHAT NEXT

Please ring 01392 427040 (my answerphone is confidential) to arrange an introductory appointment. This is an opportunity for you to tell me what brings you to counselling, to voice concerns and ask questions; and for me to outline the structure of how I work, so you can make an informed decision.
 
 

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Some personal background - I trained in Therapeutic Counselling in Dartington, Devon, gaining my Diploma in 1999, aged 44. My own personal therapy was an integral part of this process. Since then, I have been practising in central Exeter at the Gandy Centre, a quiet space in the heart of the city.
I have articles published in Self & Society, a Forum for Contemporary Psychology, based on my experiences as client. To check any of these out, go to their website: www.ahpb.org.uk . A piece on Endings has been accepted for publication in Attachment Journals: New Directions in Psychotherapy and Relational Psychoanalysis - www.karnacbooks.com .
I am currently becoming involved in Boarding Concern, an organisation that offers support to ex-pupils of boarding schools as well as information to parents and current pupils: www.boardingconcern.org.uk
I am passionate about my work and am currently writing an extended piece entitled 'How Therapy Works.'
 

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SOME MORE ABOUT THERAPEUTIC COUNSELLING

Essentially, the work grows from your initial awareness that some part of your life needs attention (often experienced as desire for change) - knowing how you feel, what you need and want, and expressing yourself appropriately is life-enhancing. As more of you emerges, and becomes familiar, the startling moments of 'acting out' - when rage erupts seemingly from nowhere, when an impulsive decision backfires - diminish. To know is to be prepared, and better able to take charge. This in turn leads to increased confidence and ability to negotiate and set boundaries. The process of self-discovery does, inevitably, include uncomfortable and sometimes painful moments. My approach is to ease up when the going gets rough, not blunder on to 'get it over with;' to give attention to positive areas of your life to maintain balance; to ensure you can resource and comfort yourself by means we explore and nurture. Care is always my highest priority, so you might feel safe enough to be curious.

Clearer knowledge of yourself (feelings and needs) makes rewarding relationships with others possible. As you take better care of your own neediness - that can sabotage and ulitmately destroy a relationship - you stop expecting others to do the job for you, and punishing when they don't/can't. Being able to tolerate disappointment, being able to say 'no' - these are more than skills; these are fuelled by having a fuller sense of who you are that comes out of this in-depth work.
 

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TRAUMA THERAPY

I have also trained in Trauma Therapy and work with clients to resolve and integrate past traumatic experiences that continue to interfere in the present.

A traumatic event is one in which someone experiences threat to his/her own life, and/or witnesses threat to the life of another. It is an extreme experience we are born with the means to surivive, which includes a period of recovery. (Consider a creature startled at a watering-hole; notice after the threat has passed how it shakes as part of its return to relaxed watchfulness. If the creature flees to safety, or fights to survive, it will find a quiet spot afterwards to pant, groom/soothe, lower heart rate etc.) If the process of return to balance doesn't happen (maybe due to further threats or due to lack of time/space/care/understanding the need to do so,) the state of stress continues, the system becomes strained, and over time a host of symptoms may develop. Hence the term Post-Traumatic Stress. (The term PTSD ie 'disorder' may apply if the symptoms that develop from extreme, long-term strain (of maintaining the Fight-or-Flight position) affect one's life to the point of taking over.) It is never too late after the original event to benefit from this recovery process.

My work with clients continuing to suffer in the aftermath of trauma is based on teaching by Babatte Rothschild and Peter Levine. Both have studied animal behaviour as a basis for understanding the Fight/Flight response, and the third survival response of Freeze that can be re-experienced later as physical and/or emotional paralysis. Both have also developed ways of working to lower heightened anxiety, and then carefully enable release of both emotional and bodily responses that may have been held in the system for years. The common factor to trauma is terror and powerlessness; the after-effects are often guilt, shame, distrust, continued anxiety, all of which can turn the experience into a secret hard to share. Meanwhile, ways of coping with these feelings, while intended to soothe, can actually severely restrict being able to live creatively. What I offer is respectful uninvasive interest, care and a safe place to risk coming off-guard.
 

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As an accredited member of UKAHPP - Association of Humanistic Pscychology Practitioners, I adhere to its Ethical Framework, including regular use of supervision and commitment to ongoing training and personal development. I am also a member of BACP - British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.
 

01392 427040
janebarclay@mfdl.org.uk

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