Classical Developments
Jupiter's Moon
Issue Two
Special Horrid Picture Quiz!
(answers at the bottom of the screen)
22nd August 2001
© James Beswick Whitehead, 2001
1: One of the following is true:
A: The American inventor of this wife-beating machine was fined for abusing his own genius.
B: A weight-loss therapy, sold door-to-door, offered free demonstrations to spinsters.
C: The wheel is tranferring an occult energy from the woman's spine to the gentleman's prong.
D: Sailors could be sentenced to millions of lashes for wearing female attire.
E: People had to make their own entertainment in those days.
2: One of the following is true:
A: The electric chair was invented as a cattle-slaughtering device.
B: Bovril was a trade-name partly derived from an occult novel by Bulwer Lytton.
C: The advertisement conceals the fact that cattle were really killed in the manner of Edward II.
D: French hairdressers were employed to beautify the twin cattle-wives of Thomas Hardy.
E: People had to make their own entertainment in those days.
3: One of the following is true:
A: The Dwarf Bertholde rose to be Prime Minister under Alboin, King of Lombardy.
B: The Dwarf Bertholde rose to be Foreign Secretary under Blair, King of Tuscany.
C: The Dwarf Bertholde exuded a pheremone which made him irresistible to women.
D: Trolls were kept as pets by most Norwegian families.
E: People had to make their own entertainment in those days.
4: One of the following is true:
A: A Cat-woman was illustrated in a book published in 1679 by one Schmach or Schmuch.
B: Cat-women were kept in cat clubs and compelled to lap dance for 17th Century merchants.
C: An Esoteric Masonic ritual required apprentices to live as cats for six months between twin pillars.
D: Abbess Hildegarde of Bingen was impregnated by a candle accidentally made out of cat-semen.
E: People had to make their own entertainment in those days.