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Welcome to D’Arse’s pompous
guide to why these pages were wrote and stuff, and some missives thereon.
This
relativity site was assembled many years ago during a long but
nonetheless pleasurable winter. From its creation and without precipitant
warning electric mails of gentle appreciation began to arrive at a pace to
move all but those given to lesser sensitivity.
Indeed, many such epistles
warmed the cockles of the heart on such motionless and frigid evenings,
and to most comfortable and snuggleful levels.
Mrs D'Arse spots The Truth and
D'Arse becomes somewhat melancholy
But, unhappily and sad to say,
on occasion those very same cockles have been turned a most wretched shade
of blue after being enveloped by foul, strong and unpleasant winds. Let
none of us be fooled; these are the winds of the uppercase and the
excessive exclamation mark!! These same foul winds speak from the
heart so strongly, and yet trumpet so noisily as if a
strong guff in a small tent.
To avoid The Truth D'Arse faces
the other way, and cheers up no end
Suffice to say that, alas, many
of the received missives cannot be republished here. For I fear that
publication of such foul and depraved communiqués would cause many a
gentle and sweet lady to be overcome with a fit of the vapours. Of the
remainder it is possible to list but a small selection of the unsolicited,
but perhaps instructive contributions to Man’s unquenchable thirst for
knowledge...
Name and email
address withheld (subject title of email):
D’Arse
replies: I have no idea who Einstien is, and as the rest of the
email was in Greek I never did find out what he was wrong about. It seemed
jolly important so I hope it was all sorted out in the end.
Name and email
address withheld (copied from email):
| E = MC2 is wrong!!! As any one
on a diat will tell u Bacon has more calories thayt Apples!! |
D’Arse
replies: Bloody hell, you’re onto something here! If only they used
bacon instead of apples in nuclear power stations. But wait! Isn’t that
what Mr Burns WANTS you to think?!
Name and email
address withheld (copied from email):
| … and we are all being
controlled by cosine waves… …government plot… |
D’Arse
replies: Rubbish, I say! We are being controlled by an
invisible skiing holiday... …vegetable plot…
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To avoid Them the good
doctor takes two pulses. Only then can he be sure of The
Truth. (Or can he? Always make sure your doctor takes
THREE pulses and Keeps An Open Mind!!!) |
Name and email
address withheld (copied from email):
| As ANY optical sientist will
tell you red light travells faster than blue. |
D’Arse
replies: But, I’m sure we agree, blue is saaad. Just think about
that for a second. Yeah, saaad. Don’t you go slower when you are feeling
sad? I bet you do. But hey! Blue light not only has the same velocity as
red light but actually has more energy, so let’s all clap! Yay!!
(Not real)
Name: Rod Ball (copied from a very long list of tedious emails):
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You completely trust what you perceive
as the accumulated opinion of those who have written before you... you seem to wish to blur with
something of the indignance of a religious zealot confronted with
heresy !
Your attitude is
lamentably not untypical...
[after
I offered him marriage]
...your apparent derangement has become acute...
[and yet he still continued to write back...]
I could reply that I am in contact with
two physicists who actually work at CERN… |
D’Arse
replies: What sort of contact? Are you telling them it’s deep, deep
lurve, you cunning old scoundrel you?! Damn all of the experimental
results to hell!! Oh Rod, rip my jodhpurs and spats off and tell me YOUR
opinion!
Afterwards we can discuss how
others tired of you and your aggression, such as
here. Oh and
here. And
here.
At New Year open the window of Fact. Yeah,
really go for it!
Name and email address withheld (copied
from email):
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SCIENCE FRAUD
The progress in all science
disciplines, except one, is based on the philosophy of logic.
Logic or in laymen’s words ordinary common sense
determines whether theoretical conclusions are considered valid or
not.
The only science that excludes
itself is Theoretical Physics. The argument of
theoretical physicists for this exclusion is always the
non-argument that their insights are too specialized and too
difficult to be explained and understood by laymen.
Scientists, even theoretical
physicists, are ordinary people who at first consider their own
interest. They cheat, lie and commit science fraud to hide their
incompetence. How dare I say such bold and offending accusations?
The unbelievable fairytale of
relativity of time and space, parallel worlds and much more other
crap is already disqualified for a long time. NASA withholds
information that disproves Einstein’s Relativity Theory. Quantum
Mechanic scientists teach and receive research funds knowing it is
pseudo-science.
A couple of really stupid and
simple mistakes set Theoretical Physicists of in the
wrong direction. When discovered it was too late. Vanity withholds
them to reveal their incompetence. They have had ample opportunity
to correct their mistakes.
It is time to expose this to the
public. Physics can be understood by everyone. Actually the basic
of physics is very simple; just ordinary common sense.
Only the self-proclaimed geniuses who say they understand their
own fairytale have a problem with the simple truth: [link
withheld]
Please fore ward this email to
everyone who wants to know the arguments. It is time this science
gives answers to questions they systematically ignore.
Sincerely,
[Name withheld]
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I responded to the above email and received greater
enlightenment:
| Sorry it took some time to
answer your email, but of the 7.000 persons I mailed...
My email "Science Fraud" was a "Bom". In
September 2008 I will launch a "Rocket". When that won't work a
planned a "Nuke" in December. It will devastate Theoretical Physics.
I never planned to, but when it happens they only can blame
themselves. They had plenty of chances to correct their mistakes,
but apparently that is very hard. |
D’Arse replies: Hmm... A key sentence from
the mail seems to be "Only the self-proclaimed
geniuses who say they understand their own fairytale have a problem with
the simple truth".
He has a point. I'm not a genius so my fairytale has a
castle in it and a princess, but I can't for the life of me figure out
where the top-hatted, cane-twirling singing gerbil comes into things.
Let's hope the "Nuke" relies on common sense rather than theoretical
physics.
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In this disturbing picture three young
women have been glued to a rope and pounded with aftershave and
enigmatic music. The reason has never been made clear |
Name and email address withheld (copied
from an email entitled Common idiots):
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Time is not a structure like space-to
allow jumping from space-to-time -back- to space Hollywood back to
the future games
E=1/2 mc(squared) by newton because
E=1/2mv(squared) v=c
Einstein doubled the value based on
"Junk" experimentation and "reel" discovery'.
When Money spent and "reuslts"
Expected and "No" discovery; Physicicsts rigged experiments to
loot goverment grants.
Like what happened in France in
October about the super collider experiments based on special
theory of relativity that took 12 years to build and 20 billions
cost and 20 more billions donations and lasted less than 1/2
second. What happened there?
Relativity is for common truth used
for common idiots
E=mc(squared) is optical illusions of
1/2mc(squared) you see in labs a light ray shifting and that
proves that E=mc(squared) but it is an illusion. scientists
trained public and goverment to be sheep. If you know differential
equations and newtons law I can e-mail you how all of relativity
theory and quantum mechanics are optical illusions
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D’Arse replies: My God! When you you put it
like that it all seems so clear!
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Under threat of
flatulence the scullery maid is forced to deface The Facts. It is
only in this way that NASA can keep people from knowing The Truth |
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