As a busy housewife I receive many letters asking me the best way to prove male masculinity. To my mind a real man is someone, male or female, but always male, that can really find fault with Einstein's relativity. Not his 1905 mathematical treatments of atomic or quantum theory, of course, silly! After all, what housewife bending over in a maid’s outfit has ever been impressed by that?!

Me, dreaming of you

No, what I really want is an egocentric crackpot that likes to email people with their own saucy ideas on relativity! Hmm! Just thinking about it and turning the dial up to 6 gets my oven up to six!

Gosh! I’m getting so hot thinking about your firm denials of relativity that I might have to take off my Darth Vader helmet! Ooh, it’s all too much! There’s only one thing for it - just call the Einstein Was Wrong lines below (logical call rates apply) and let me hear your pointless drivel!

My advice is to call now!!

The Einstein was Wrong Phone Lines!!!