Far From The Madding Crowd
- Cricket Club -
Season 2003:
July 20th – Vodafone
(home) – Lost by Several Wkts
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- -
“Vodafone Go MAD For Sunday Pub Cricket”
Two 15 over Innings, 20th
July, Pembroke College Cricket Ground:
FFTMCCC 58,
Vodafone 61, FFTMCCC 92, Vodafone More….
Formula One Grand Prix
Champions, Premier League Champions, England Cricket Team, Derby, and Rugby
Union sponsorship are just not enough for the largest telecommunications
company in the world. No, Vodafone felt they needed to branch out into the
world of Sunday Pub cricket to cement their domination in sports sponsorship.
Fielding a team of 3/8ths Mad, and 8/8ths Vodafone from 10,000 staff UK wide,
they hit the pub scene with gusto. Were the Mad to be daunted? We think not,
for the Mad approached the game with their usual flair, suggesting a two
innings format in an attempt to confuse the Vodafoners into a state of
disarray.
In a mystical display of
mind control, the skip yet again forced the opposition into wining the toss,
and the strike force of Flash and Strongbong strode to the track with
confidence while the normal opening bat took 15 minutes to park his car in a
300 foot space. T.Smith’s (3) wicket fell early - before the stroke master could
get his eye in, by which time N.Hebbes had managed to find a parking space big
enough, and joined I.Howarth in the centre. The pair looked strong to start
with, but after some masterful strokes under his not so level hat, I.Howarth
succumbed to the bowling of fellow Northerner for a highest innings score of
26. No panic though, for making his way to the track was the ringer of all
ringers to ring through the Vodafoners ranks. All great sportsmen always look
to learn from others throughout their careers. Unfortunately J.Jackman had
obviously learnt from his one-game colleagues the art of the Sand Wedge shot,
and scooped one up into the waiting hands of an able fielder, out for 4 runs.
Next lesson to be learnt by the master batsman was that of the ‘Collapse’, a
feat which the Madsters themselves seem to be able to repeat at will, seemingly
without trying.
The Mad Northerner continued
to strike for the Vodafoners, taking 4-18, unbelievably so considering he
looked at times like he needed a zimmer frame to complete his run-up, still
suffering from the comical groin injury from the previous game. E.Lester was
next to settle at the crease, with a look of determination so as not to get out
lbw, so determined in fact that he moved his pads right out of the way of the
ball and was bowled Golden Duck, but the grin that formed across his face
whilst returning was a picture as he realised now that the lbw curse had been
lifted. Fines come and Fines go, some Fines remembered, some get away.
M.Westmoreland with his hat-trick ball, subtly bowled a wide, not only avoiding
a costly two jug innings, but also somehow avoiding a hat-trick avoidance fine
from fellow Madsters post game. One can only presume with so much Fine action
later in the game this one paled into insignificance.
In actual fact, the collapse
in this game was not without reason. The opening three wickets fell in 12
overs, so the tail came in with wickets to spare giving ample opportunity to
practice suicidal run-out sequences, strangely enough with Mad members in the
opposing field returning the ball to the stumps with amazing ferocity to
achieve two successive run-outs. N.Hebbes (9 n.o.) could only stand and watch
while he protected his average, as the Mad stumbled to a total of 58.
A quick turn around saw an
impressive opening pair who started to strike the ball cleanly from the off,
hardly troubling Wicket Keeper J.Hoskins at all <cough>. Despite being
somewhat bemused by the wear on the ball, the opening bowlers eventually took
the first wicket Bala (9), and from there, the Mad Vodafoners faced Mad bowlers
three in a row. S.Dobner showed a return to wicket taking that we knew would
return, returning figures of 4-17 off 5, returning Mad Vodafoners J.Harris (0),
G.Bridges (2), and M.Westmoreland (1) back to the Pavilion before themselves
returning to return the favour of supplying an extra fielder to the Mad. A.Mann
backed up the Easy Tiger taking a customary wicket 1-16 off 4 while I.Howarth
and J.Jackman mopped up the remaining wickets. A good display of tail wagging
by M.Jurgens (13 n.o.) saw the Vodafone total ring in at 61. With the game
nicely poised for the second innings, tea was taken. Not a mobile to be heard.
How civilised.
The Mad second innings saw
the batting order reversed. The Vodafoners opening bowler with only two overs
left, managed to claim just one wicket J.Hoskins for 4. S.Dobner (20) however,
still struggling from a comical wrist injury swung the bat with venom in
partnership with A.Mann (19) to give the Mad a good start. E. Lester entered
the fray free from the lb curse, and struck some impressive straight drives for
a respectable 13.
We’ve all learnt one thing –
twenty four cans of Stella the night before a cricket match can do funny things
to your eyes, and indeed your batting ability, as young Mander started a mini
collapse that saw himself (Golden), J.Jackman (6), and the Titanic (1) turning
full circle back to the Pavilion. T.Smith (14 n.o.), and I.Howarth (10 n.o.)
added admirably to the total as the Madsters reached a seemingly unbeatable
score of 92.
NINETY-TWO Madsters.
Could this be our Nelson?.
Those with memories slightly more reliable than a goldfish will remember the
previous weeks game (that we shoulda won) when we were 92-2. Spooky. The
Vodafoners innings started well for the Mad, two wickets for 5 runs, but at
there started a formidable partnership of Andrew, and our own M.Westmoreland. A
slip cordon of four was brought in to confuse the Northerner, but not for long
as he started to strike many a straight drive.
At this point in the match
report I have been strangely distracted by a bout of Communication Avoidance,
and as a result, have completely lost all ability to record the hilarity on the
field. Two things remain embossed in my memory though – that of the comical
Benny Hill style catch from the stand in keeper S.Dobner, who took a catch off
the bowling of J.Hoskins after completing three full turns wondering where the
ball was. The second memorable event
involved G.Bridges, Stabiliser, who drove the ball with gusto to score the
winning runs for the VodaMadsters.
All
things being equal, lessons will be learnt from this entertaining afternoon.
Never invite your Nephews to a cricket match where the Pavilion Clock is just
waiting to be hit by a half volley with a football is certainly one. Oh well,
it has said “just after a quarter to four” for the last three years anyway.
‘Hoskers’