Bumper Stickers

• Jesus is coming, quick everyone look busy!
• Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
• If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
• You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
• I got a gun for my wife, best trade I've ever made.
• So you're a feminist... Isn't that cute!
• Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
• I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
• Horn broken, watch for finger.
• If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
• Help wanted: telepaths, you know where to apply.
• I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
• If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk.
• Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• Keep honking, I'm reloading.
• Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
• Prevent inbreeding: ban country music.
• Hang up and drive.
• Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
• WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 worth of ammunition.
• I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and and yelling like the passengers in his car.
• Lord save me from your followers.
• Born again pagan.
• God must love stupid people, he made so many.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
• When there's a will, I want to be in it!
• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at maths.
• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
• Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• i souport publik edekasion
• Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a big rock.

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