You Know When You've Been Out Of Uni Too Long When...

1. Your potted plants stay alive.
2. Having sex in a single bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep
5. You don't volunteer for clinical trials at a jab.
6. You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
7. You can remember what you did three weeks ago.
8. Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy.
9. The bank manager doesn't write threatening letters any more.
10. You carry an umbrella.
11. Seven-day benders are no longer realistic
12. A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
13. You have standing orders and direct debits.
14. The heating works in your house.
15. Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.
16. You don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to pub.
17. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20
18. Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed up'
19. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
20. You get out of bed in the morning even if it's raining.
21. Washing up is not an annual ritual.
22. You have hoovered.
23. You don't know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.
24. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
25. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
26. You don't get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
27. You don't put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.
28. You don't spend half your day strategically planning pub-crawls.
29. Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
30. You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.
31. Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
32. You can't persuade your flatmates to 'Drink till dawn'.
33. You don't spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
34. You always know where you are when you wake up.
35. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

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