Thoughts For The Day

• Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
• 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
• Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
• Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
• For people who like peace and quiet, try a phoneless cord.
• I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
• Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
• Proof-read carefully to see if you any words out.
• There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
• A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
• I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
• If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
• Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
• If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
• Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
• Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
• Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
• Demons are a Ghouls best Friend.
• Department of Redundancy Department
• What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

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