| John
Major Virus |
Restricts your monitor to 16 shades of grey. |
| British
Rail Virus |
90% of all files loaded arrive late due to
reformat of your hard-disk. Disables carriage return. |
| British
Gas Virus |
It won't do anything now, but it will send
two viruses around next week. |
| Guardian
Virus |
Corrupts your spell checker. Puts the first
word of any title into italics and deletes the following space. |
| BNFL
Virus |
When you delete a file, it remains on your
hard-disk for 24,000 years by which time it will have shrunk to its
original size. |
| AA
Virus |
It doesn't do any harm itself, but it knows
a virus that can. |
| Traffic
Cone Virus |
Slows down the bus and all other traffic and
has a tendency to occur on bank holidays. |
| Crystal
Palace Virus |
Takes up a lot of space, but doesn't
actually do anything. |
| Irish
Virus |
Deletes itself. |
| Dyslexia
Virus |
Messes about with your flies. |
| Star
Trek Virus |
Boldly goes where no other virus has gone
before. |
| Prison
Breakout Virus |
Hides all your files in a cake. |
| Winona
Ryder Virus |
Turns floppy-disks into hard ones. |
| Ayrton
Senna Virus |
Crashes any high speed disk. |
| NatWest
ATM Virus |
Removes 200 bytes from each of your files
and then claims that sort of thing just isn't possible. |
| Fred
West Virus |
Chops up your files and buries them under
the motherboard. |
| West
Midlands Serious Crime Squad Virus |
Alters all your files (but doesn't hide the
changes), then claims that your data fell down the stairs. |
| Kylie
Minogue Virus |
Infects your files for a period of time,
then disappears without a trace. |
| Mussolini
Virus |
Hangs your system from a lamp-post. |