If you don't have it all yet, then you may wish to add a few flourishes:
Build your own stair lift via my website.
Build your own computer via my website.
Build your own motorcycle via my website.
Build your own van via my website.
Of course, if you have a car, van (RV) and motorbike, then you must have a trike too! Build your own trike via my website.
Some people like pixies at the bottom of their garden, or perhaps you would prefer a wind tunnel complete with computers, via my website - where else?
Want the perfect ornate iron garden fence? then learn to weld via my website.
When you leave home, learn to hike outdoors via my website.
So you can appreciate it all - build your own spectacles via can you guess?

I can also include build your own wind generator, solar heating and alternative energies if enough requests.
I can resume my work on a maths, English, science and technology course for 11 to 16 yr olds plus university entrance. Many parents are pulling their kids out of British schools as standards fall. It's getting so bad, that 'British' politicians are touting the French Baccalaureate as a replacement to present mess of British education standards.

Overview.
Why you should do it yourself:
Let's face it, Britain has gone to the dogs. Finding honest crafts-people who can do an honest days work has long gone.

This web page is here because too few can find truly skilled people. Skilled people are all around, we are simply not getting the jobs.
The author has a four year engineering apprenticeship, a B.Ed. technology teaching degree, a B.Sc. Science degree, was a designer for the nuclear industry and designed and built high pressure steam heating systems, a M.I.Plant.Eng. (factories and industrial plant.) City and Guilds Mechanical Engineering Technicians parts 1, 2 and 3 and reasonable plumber and electrician for over twenty years. You guessed it, I'm honest, white, male and - I'm unemployed.

For evil to thrive, it only needs honest people to say nothing. I've been told by a Plymouth Council careers advisor that my qualifications are not as good as a twenty-week GNVQ trainee plumber. Another professional careers councillor, (also paid by the taxpayer) told me to leave my qualifications off my CV if I want a job in Plymouth. Why bother with a real education ?
With more letters after my name than the headmaster, I've even been told I'm 'not suitable' for part time lab technician in my local school. Despite being told I'd make a great teacher, a B.Ed and a B.Sc, I've yet to get a job in Plymouth after twenty years of trying. Evidently I don't know the right people, nor have the right handshake for teaching in this dodgy city. My M.P. Linda Gilroy (New Labour) has failed to reply to this complaint. Her silence says a lot.
Complaining to politicians and councillors and their puppeteers is, as we all know, a waste of time. Just enough spin, smiles and tokenism to remain on Blair's gravy train. Each MP now costs the taxpayer a total of 425,000 quid a year. Each (B)eurocrat MEP costs over a million a year. Gov't NAO figures. (You thought plumbers were a rip-off !)

Shaking hands in strange ways does not make a craftsperson, neither does a piece of paper. The clues are all about us, from rocketing council taxes, to wobbly London Bridges, poorly maintained schools and deliberate traffic congestion planing. The debate in Parliament on 11-4-03, patently highlights the plight, yet nothing gets done other than hot air and spin.

I'm like so many in Britain applying for jobs being Anglo-Saxon, male, over-qualified and over forty, but statistically unlikely to find work. Yes, this sounds like whinging, but offers insight to the disgraceful treatment of many decent qualified workers in Britain today.

If you are in the same plight, then you have to make what you can from Britain's mess and Do It Yourself. There is no point complaining to politicians, but to help those who are honest. Hence this website for the real people of Britain. - The lowly classes who are worked to death, and the middle classes who are taxed to death. While the scum float to the top.

I help ordinary people maintain their houses, cars, computers, homework and such like. Ask around, there is an increasingly vast army of exceptionally skilled people far better than me going to waste. Electricians, plumbers, teachers, mathematicians, computer systems analysts, programmers and aero engineers. Mature British males who cannot find work.

What idiots say good qualified staff are hard to find? People are beginning to realise that the only difficult person to find is a competent personnel manager.

If Britain needs good engineers and scientists now, the next generation will be even worse.
A quarter of those teaching maths in our schools don't have A level maths. Many universities now have to run courses to bring school leavers up the minimum entry standard. Many students are now called 'oven ready' graduates. There are also many horror stories of senior university lecturers who don't know their subjects.
If half of Britain goes to university, then even we British cannot massage the figures to ensure that half the population is well above average. For half the country, degree standards must now be suitable for just an average intellect, which is not what people expect in a degree.
Degrees for all means it's no longer of any real worth.

Many honest people also won't accept debt as part of education, discouraging the remaining honest and sensible people from universities. No one wants massive debt - sod that! Graduates may have to become bankers, politicians or lawyers to pay this off. Where are the doers - the scientists, engineers and inventors we need to compete in the big world. Now cover this stupidity with ridiculous government paperwork and managers so we can no longer see the wood for the trees. Ask the doctors, nurses, teachers. The road to hell is now paved with good intentions Blairs plague of bureaucrats and their paperwork.

Although plenty of people can still do a damn good job, Britain now demands paperwork. My 4 year engineering apprenticeship is worth nothing according to the Jobcentre, unlike my two-week GNVQ5 in business studies despite no training nor exam!

Welcome to modern Britain, a country run by inadequate qualifications supplied by inadequate politicians to create inadequate workers. A country where a hairdresser got GNVQ's for hairdressing awarded to his pet cat and rabbit.
We only get what we deserve. I feel sorry for the next generation - they know no better.

If you are a personnel manager, then re-assess why you cannot find qualified staff. Get off your fat arse and do this now. See also my webpage on unemployment.

So - next time you need someone to do a skilled job, think twice. Will you trust a GNVQ or even a degree, or is there some way to ensure the person is competent? In modern Britain, the best person may be you.

Typical examples.

Gas. A decade ago, a British Gas fitter inspected our broken central heating and said spares are no longer available, but they could fit a new system for a thousand pounds. The faulty part was the pilot light thermocouple, which was available locally 'off the shelf' and cost under five pounds ! I fitted it in half an hour. Eight years later, the timer failed. Yes, I fitted a replacement for under thirty pounds by simply following the instructions in the box, in under an hour. The whole system has been recently checked out by a trusted, reliable and accredited gas fitter and passed with flying colours. We are no longer with British Gas, nor trust their adverts.

Plumbing. I have had to sort out the terrible plumbing of such 'experts' who did our house, leaving an inability to bleed the hot water system, water hammer and many other problems. I now do all my own plumbing and have had no problems since.

Electrics. I have had to go around as a house for sale was being rewired, having to fix the many problems of the 'professional' electrician who trained as a baker.

Roofing. I had to fix the leaking roof after paying lots of money for an expert who failed many times. I now do all the roofing repairs, as the incompetent freemason 'craftsman' (he was certainly not free and not much of a mason), who fitted the roof has yet to fix the main problem after fifteen years. He also repairs schools, no wonder that many schools are in poor repair. (Handshakes before ability?) People are gradually learning a lot about the prevalence of poor craftsmanship and how to avoid it in future.

Cars. The garage which had serviced a car for twenty years said the rubber carburettor diaphragm for a Vauxhall Viva (a wonderfully straightforward car) was 'no longer available'. I found the a component locally for two pounds in a few hours and fitted it in five minutes. Same for the brake master cylinder when the brakes failed, as the mechanic had failed to top up the brake fluid for ten years. So much for all those service charges and their GNVQ in vehicle maintenance. I cleaned, inspected and flushed the brakes through in two hours and it passed the MOT with flying colours.

Computers. Many friends have given up sending back their computers to gather dust when things go wrong, especially when five minutes and a smidgen of knowledge can fix them. The biggest shop (well known) reinstalled a friends windows OS three times before they realised the memory chip needed pushing back into place. He needlessly lost all his work. I tell people to build their own - it's not rocket science. If you want to build your own computer and install the software correctly and safely for half the cost, and ten times the reliability, then visit my website, same address as you found this page.

Money. Britain is getting dangerously polarised between rich and poor. Many people are now forced to move away from money based transactions, fed up with banking, predatory salesmen, parasitic lawyers and incompetent or corrupt politicians and pension schemes. If you have genuine skills, always offer to exchange them first.

Many are ripped-off by incompetent tradespeople. But the rich say, ' they must do it right or I get the lawyers in '. Fools - lawyers cannot make good craftsmen, never could, never will. A poor craftsman can only hope to fix the problems under threat of a law suit, praying it may work adequately first time. Many of us know better.

What do you call a personnel manager bleating about the lack of competent craftsmen ? - blind and deaf :(
What do you call a 'plumber' armed with a GNVQ and wrench? Potentially dangerous :(
What do you call a householder armed with a wrench? Potentially dangerous, but prepared to learn and intending do a good job :)

DIY.

DIY used to be a way to cut costs, but now it's often the only way to ensure the job's done properly.

BETTER STILL, it will be noticed that many problems can be solved not only cheaper, but also faster and far more reliably with DIY. This way, the reader usually has a lot more time on their hands to enjoy life and of course, more money to do so.
Booking a car into a garage, or waiting for a roofer or plumber, takes about three to twenty times longer than doing it yourself. Likewise the cost savings :)

Doing it yourself is not easy at first, but the main hurdle is a few proper tools and a little confidence.
But always remember that those who do these jobs are rarely the brightest light bulbs in the box and most merely wish to make loads of money. We have all seen the TV programmes on dodgy trades people. If they can fail to do a proper job, what have you to loose? (A few craftsmen are genuinely honest and enjoy such work.)
The theory is basic and the tools are minimal. The skills take some effort, but if not too sure, then once shown by a friend, the task is fairly straightforward.

If in doubt about soldering a copper pipe, simply go to your local DIY shop, buy a length of pipe, a small hacksaw, a selection of connections, solder, flux, emery cloth and a blow lamp. Then practice, to see just how easy it is. This may cost much less then the call-out fee of a plumber. Likewise for electrics, - buy a three pin plug socket and some copper wire, to see if you are up to it. It is not rocket science, although electrics can be dangerous.

Always try fixing a leaking tap, as there is nothing lost. If the plumber needs to be called, at least do so after you have made a stab at it. If other people can fix such problems, why can't you?
A nephew in London paid sixty quid for a tap washer to be replaced. I showed him how to do it and he said 'is that all there is to it?' He now has a basic plumbers repair tool kit and an electricians kit for under a tenner for his birthday. With this he could make a fortune in London. He will certainly save a fortune, which is the purpose of this web page.
Once you have done it, always show others, it's a social thing.

Let's face the truth, Britain has gone to the dogs. In an ideal world this web page should not be needed.
Therefore it is necessary to write this page for average people for simple household problems to avoid the enormous bill and ensure the job gets done properly. No call out fee, nor time wasted. No government spin, no sales waffle, no trade bullshit and certainly no conning for work not needed nor done.

Most people know the score. Competent craftsmen still exist, but not being able to find work, are reduced to writing about it. So, best wishes from me, and the many thousands of British craftsmen and engineering and science graduates who are on the dole.
Gizzajob.

How to fix a leaking tap.

Use your eyes. In our street, a modern housing unit has six water stop cocks outside in the pavement. None of the covers are neatly aligned, denoting the quality of the plumbing inside is also probably suspect. Use your eyes from the outset.
Even though you do not have a leaking tap at the moment, find this stop cock. Turn it shut and back open. Looking down on the handle, turn it clockwise to shut. Never force it tightly closed, nor open it fully until hard. It is a safety device, not a wrestling bout. If you cannot do this now, then you will have problems when you need to do so at a later date. You know why. If the access hole is covered in road dirt, then scoop it out with an old spoon.
If it is one of six in the pavement, yours should be clearly marked, but this is not common. Connect a cold water pipe with a hose leading out of a window, and allow a small tell-tale flow of water. Then check by turning off one stop cock at a time to find yours. Alternatively use a mobile phone and someone watching the tap indoors. If a close group of neighbours, get them together as soon as possible to find out which stop cock is which. Then mark this clearly in the hallway or entrance on a simple notice for the benefit of all. Alternatively mark each flat number in paint on the underside of each street flap. Perhaps add a notice on the communal entrance notice board.

If a tap leaks, it will probably be from a worn or damaged rubber sealing washer.
On COLD water taps, which are usually directly connected to the mains water, turn off the stop cock as mentioned above. Turn on the basin tap until the water stops, or is reduced to a trickle.
For HOT water taps, there may be an internal stop cock or valve inside the house to the header tank in the roof or a compact boiler system. Get to know your central hot water plumbing and ALWAYS switch off any hot water heater thermostat or timer. Turning off the hot water switch will ensure that if the hot water tank drains, the heater will not burn components.

Once the water is turned off, drain the water. It may still be flowing slowly after a while and should not be considered a problem if the flow is minimal and safely flowing down the sink.
On most HOT water systems, it is far preferable to simply remove the tap body quickly and plug the hole with a flannel or rag because the pressure is often quite low. This can get messy for a few seconds. This also keeps most of the hot water in your hot water tank system. Messy, but simple - and it's only water.
Opening up the tap.
Loosen the tap handle so a little water flows, this removes any internal forces inside the tap body. Remove the tap handle, probably held by a small screw above or under the handle or under a red or blue plastic cap. Place this small screw in the soap dish or stick it in the soap so it will not get lost ! If it falls down the sink, see U bend later. Remove the handle.
Unscrew any cosmetic cover, often a bell shaped cover. This may be tight, so use a sheet of rubber to increase grip. If an adjustable wrench is used, do not scratch the surface.
Underneath will be the central shaft with a small nut for the seal, and also the larger hexagon (or square) of the upper body. Undo the large hexagon in a counter clockwise direction when looking down on the tap.
ALWAYS grip the tap spout firmly when turning the central brass part, so the tap is not twisted and does not damage the under-sink pipework. Be careful, as very few taps are securely fitted in the basin, turning the body of the tap on the undersink pipework can cause leaks.
Preferred tool for this is the pipe wrench. The 'Stilson' is the classic brand name version and is self tightening as you pull harder on the handle.
Unscrew the upper body, then immediately stuff a cloth into the hole to reduce flow or splash if needed.

In many cases, the upper removable part of the valve (tap) will very stiff to remove from the body. To remove a difficult top, then fit the pipe wrench very securely in the upper part, then strike the handle of the wrench firmly with a hammer just a few times. When doing this, it is imperative not to damage any of the pipework or any ceramic bowl. The hammer should be giving a shock blow to the wrench, to shock the thread loose and thereby unstick it. The hammer block is NOT to turn the upper body, just to shock the thread loose. So go easily with the use of the hammer, as it is a very dangerous tool. One good sharp smack by the hammer onto the handle of the stilson is usually all that's needed to get the top turning.

Once opened, you will see that the shaft in the tap has a rubber washer fitted on a swivelling base collar. This rubber washer is often retained with a small nut. Remove the nut carefully, as the bronze components of older taps are often corroded.
Replace with a new rubber tap washer of the same size. If your replacement is of a slightly larger size, the new rubber can be shaped to a slightly smaller diameter, using a sharp knife, file, sandpaper, even in an emergency, a cheese grater or such like.
If the nut retaining the washer should break, then the rubber washer can be fitted with some contact adhesive glue and thus retained around the stub of the thread, until a new tap is purchased. If glued in place, then don't open the repaired tap too far, just allow a little water to flow, otherwise the temporarily glued rubber washer can be dislodged.

It is important to have the rubber washer away from the seal when replacing the tap body. If the handle had been screwed down, then when you refit the upper body, it will dangerously squeeze the washer too tight. So always refit the tap body with the tap handle in the open position.
As the body may have been tight, then it is preferable to add some 'thread tape' to the threads, to make it easier to repair next time. See later.

The photo opposite shows from top left to bottom right, a roll of thread tape, spare washers, a basin wrench, the components of a stripped tap, a small screwdriver, and a red 'stilson' wrench. The tools cost just one pound each.
The tap components from left to right are; the body with the large black nut on the lower thread which fits under the sink, rubber washer, washer holder, threaded spindle, upper body, chrome cover and handle.

While the tap is out, inspect for damage. The worst offender is the thread on the spindle, especially if people tend to over-tighten the tap. Loosely re-fit the handle and turn the shaft to inspect the thread. These threads will easily wear if the tap is tightened too hard and often. If in doubt, consider a replacement tap at a later date.
Check if any outer seal of the body if fitted, possibly a firm fibre washer. If damaged, a few turns of thread tape will ensure a seal.

Thread tape is a fine tape of polytetrafluroetheylene. (PTFE.) It is supplied on small reels like sticky tape, but is white and not adhesive, about 1/2 inch wide and available in any DIY shop for about 70 pence. Hold the reel of tape in one hand and roll it over the thread, such that it pulls itself gently onto the threads. A little tension while applying a few turns will allow the tape to be cut by simply pulling to stretch the tape with the thumb on the tape leaving a clean application.

When replacing, turn the shaft back into the housing as if the tap was fully open. If replaced with the shaft in the shut position, the upper body will not seat fully. Replace the tap components.
If a hot water system and using a rag to help slow down the flow, then get the upper part ready for a quick change over. The water flow will ensure there is no dirt in the tap. Screw down the upper body by hand, then lightly stop the flow to a trickle, the tighten the upper body. Then test the tap by using the handle to check it opens and shuts properly.

To repeat, ALWAYS slacken and tighten the upper body while holding onto the spout, to prevent the tap from turning on the sink or pipework.

Temporarily fit the handle and screw the tap closed. Turn on the water stop cock partially, to check the tap works as required. Turning on the stop cock partially will give full pressure, but limits the flow should anything be untoward. Check it works well. Check for no damage to the water pipes under the sink or basin. Then refit the cover and handle.
When all is well, fully turn on the stop cock. Check the tap works correctly. Look out for leaks.
Return any hot water thermostat or switch to normal.
Keep an eye on the tap for a few days.

On the shaft is a seal is a smaller hexagonal nut which compresses some packing around the shaft. If your tap handle is hard to turn, then it may be the packing. When the tap is out for repair, the shaft can be polished with some kitchen scouring pad and replaced, then the packing can be gradually tightened until it does not leak, but allows the tap to be used easily. You can also clean the shaft while the tap is in its normal working state, by removing the handle and unscrewing the seal and digging out the packing. Then the shaft can be scouted clean by using a pan scourer to smooth the shaft. The old packing may be replaced if not to bad. If the packing is very old, then you can easily use string, which is simply wound around the shaft, and then tightened into place. For a better form of packing, then waxing the string with a candle is preferred to reduce friction and improve waterproofing.

Modern taps may use ceramic components and like many modern things, are simply replaced without any attempt to repair them. Not exactly environmentally friendly, but ideal for money grabbing cowboy plumbers or fashion conscious consumers.

Possible problems.

If water keeps flowing while making the repair: As the stop cock is unlikely to fail as it is an all-metal item, the problem will probably be a large capacity hot water system which takes some time to drain. As many hot water systems only have the low pressure from the reservoir tank in the roof, then this can be stopped with a simple rag in the pipework. Try this by trying to stop the hot water by first stuffing a rag in the spout to see if you can get away with this shortcut. In such cases where a quick tap washer needs replacing, then it's often simpler to block the water flow from the tap body with a rag, rather than drain-down the whole hot water system. You may need a friend to keep the rag in place, or to use lots of rag and some string to keep it in place to restrict the flow.

Damaged tap internals. These are usually corrosion of the thread and possibly the sealing face on which the rubber seats. Repair is by replacement, although a new washer can often suffice until a replacement is available.

Leaking or distorted pipework is caused by the base of the tap turning while trying to remove the upper body. To repeat: It is important to ALWAYS firmly grip the tap body or spout to prevent it turning while unscrewing the upper.

Leaking pipes.

Tools needed.

Replacing a tap washer takes about ten minutes for a decent plumber. About half an hour for a first timer, or up to an hour if you really take plenty of time.
Cost with tools and washer, about four pounds.
Once you have done one tap, the rest are very easy.

Toilet flushes.

Once the water flow is stopped, the float arm can be removed and the plunger which pushes on the rubber washer can be removed. This is not difficult, being either the removal of a few metal parts or unscrewing of the plastic cover. Plastic bodied types have a specially shaped rubber seal, which is commonly available. Always take careful note of the way the washer is removed.

Overflow drip.

That little pipe which sticks out the wall and annoyingly drips for a few weeks, tells you that the water level valve controlled by a ball cock has started to leak, or that the float has punctured. The overflow pipe allows a tell-tale drip before the tank overflows.
If fitting such an overflow pipe, it must flow to the outside, as a visual warning of failure. Never let it drip into a gutter, but onto the patio or somewhere where it can warn of impending problems. Overflow pipes are a safety warning system, not a minor inconvenience.
The leaking ball cock valve is just a simple tap washer design, but controlled by a float connected to a long lever which closes off the tap when the water is at the right level in the tank, rather than the screw thread of a basic tap.
The solution is the same for the tap, simply turn off the water supply and then replace the washer.

If the float has punctured, then the float sinks and the water overflows.
To temporarily repair the float, lift up the arm to prevent water coming in and secure it in the up position with some string or a piece of wood. Carefully remove the float and heat it with the hole at the bottom to pressurise and expel the water. After doing this many times, by cooling in cold water with the hole at the top and in the air, then back into hot water with the hole at the bottom to push out the water until bubbles appear, then you can seal the hole. As the hole is merely a guide to the poor state of the rest of the float, then it is better to patch the hole first, either with a dab of a hot wire over the plastic, or some solder on a copper float, or simply an old cycle puncture patch. Then a coat of paint to give it an extra year of life. Because new holes are likely on the old float, then replace the repaired float and wrap a few polythene bags over the float and lever, so you can apply many, many turns of cord to secure the bags in a waterproof manner around the arm area.

When getting up to the attic, use a ladder as you will surely forget some tool or such like, so easier access from the outset is worth the little extra effort. Grab a torch (flashlight) and do a reconnoitre. Check the access across the rafters is safe. Put down some old planking, and use a decent light on an extension lead.
Any old planking will do, if sufficiently strong. An old cupboard unit or wardrobe will usually suffice, although real wood is far better. Do not use modern doors or plasterboard. Use a couple of nails to keep it from sliding around.

While up in the attic, look for the wiring to the ceiling lights below, and if there is a junction box, switch off and add a simple switch and roof light. Make sure the light switch is just inside the attic for easy access and also so that the light is not accidentally left on for a few years. See wiring later. Also check for anything untoward such as water stains from a leaking roof. See roof tiling later.

Check there are no wasp nests or pigeon nests about. If so, start blocking up the offending access holes after they have cleared off, usually in mid winter. Then destroy the nest. If you live in the country and have owls or bats, then go very carefully and do all you can to help them. Even if you do not have owls, you could still consider encouraging them. You could make a special owl nest area, then fit a cheap infrared TV door security camera to keep an eye on them from your TV downstairs or a web cam.

Once the attic and flooring is safe, check out what is needed. You only want to service the tank every decade or less, so have a full check. You may simply wish to arrive with a new replacement ball cock, but the old brass types are magnificently reliable and simple to service. With the water off, simply lift the lid, pull out the split pin and disassemble. Don't drop bits, otherwise you will have to roll up your sleeve and retrieve the bits. Inspect fully, then refit with a new washer. Check it works well, by getting someone to use the water. As header tanks are usually only for hot water systems, then leave washing the dishes for this test. Run a few gallons and stop. Start again a few times with a couple of minutes in between to check the valve does not leak. When happy, cover up and forget for another ten years. If you are interested in why the hot water header tank does not contain hot water, see hot water systems later.

Tanks in the attic can suffer from frost, so always insulate the tanks fully. Even if only using unwanted blankets, sleeping bags or duvets, keep the tank tightly snug with no air gaps, then tie down with string with a bow knot so it can be easily accessed next time.
Those old sleeping bags with side zips are also ideal for insulating the hot water tank to keep the heat in, - the more the merrier.

Cleaning Radiator Systems.

If you shut off the water to drain down the system, perhaps to line the tank with polythene sheeting, then there will be a lot of air trapped in the system. You must therefore always open all the normal radiator valves after the drainage to allow the water to flow and also all the radiators must be bled.
To bleed the radiators, you will need a small handle with a square hole, to slightly unscrew the very small valve which is positioned in the top of radiators to allow all air to escape. Once the air is bled, the water begins to flow and the small bleed valve can be shut off.
If some poorly positioned radiators tend to fail to get warm after many years, then air may be accumulating in them, and you may have to bleed them occasionally.

Corrosion.

Occasionally the tank tap/valve device may be in good repair, but it is just the float that is at fault, probably with a leak in the ball or float, causing it to sink, although this is very rare.
If the float has punctured, then the float sinks and the water overflows. Lift up the arm to prevent water coming in and secure it in the up position with some string or a piece of wood. Carefully remove the float then heat it with the fracture or hole at the bottom to pressurise and expel the water. After doing this many times, by cooling in cold water with the hole at the top and in the air, then back into hot water with the hole at the bottom to push out the water until bubbles appear, then you can seal the hole. As the hole is merely a guide to the poor state of the rest of the float, then it is better to patch the hole first, either with a dab of a hot wire over the plastic, or some solder on a copper float, or simply an old cycle puncture patch. Then a coat of paint to give it an extra year of life. Because more holes are soon likely on an old float, then replace the repaired float and wrap a few polythene bags over the float and lever, so you can apply many, many turns of cord to secure the bags in a waterproof manner around the arm area. Start thinking of a replacement float.

Roof tank corrosion.
When the galvanised roof tank begins to corrode, it may seem a very heavy and horrible job involving old pipes and such like. Don't worry, - simply drain down and fit a plastic sheet as an insert.
You should ideally start with cleaning and drying the bottom. Then use lots of bathroom sealant near the lower drain pipe so the plastic sheet will seal. The rest is simply tucking in a thick polythene sheet to fit, and folding it around the corners and top. Do not secure the top of the bag or liner until the water has returned and allowed the sheet to take its full shape. Then you can apply a wrap of adhesive tape will keep the upper lip of the sheet over the top of the tank from falling in. Finally pierce the holes into the plastic where the pipes enter and exit.
As the ball cock is normally above the water level, then the plastic can be split to save you from having to unscrew the valve assembly from the side of the tank. I simply split the plastic, then pull it up, snugly under the ball cock, then let the rest of the plastic find its own shape by pushing it down and into the corners. Once filled, I then use a pencil and my finger to open up the pipework holes.

I've been told it is also possible to get plastic inserts which fit into the old galvanised header tanks, which are available to fit all standards sizes for the ultimate 'belt and braces' approach, but they are probably no better nor any more effective and hard to find.
If you cannot get a liner, then simply use a strong trash bin liner, - but not the biodegradable type !
If nothing else is available in an emergency, use a large camping ground sheet. If you can find food grade thick plastic sheeting, or the sheeting used for lining ponds or river beds, then grab this stuff as it's ideal for the job - about 3 quid per square metre. The best liner is the plastic used to line fish ponds or river beds. Then simply insert the plastic sheet, pushing it into the four corners, then hanging the edges out over the top. The internal water will keep it into shape inside the tank.
By applying some silicone sealant around the inlet and exit holes before inserting the plastic sheet, you can then push out holes in the plastic liner into these pipes with your finger, although as some sheets are strong, a pencil helps start the hole. Make the holes last of all, to ensure the openings are at the correct place, and nicely sealed once the liner is safely in position.
In such emergency repairs, you can make the inlet and exit holes by pushing your finger through the polythene or for a snug fit of the liner into the hole, or by using the appropriately sized tapered parts of old plastic funnels, as used in the kitchens and garages for pouring oil or water into bottles.
Emptying and preferably drying the tank makes for a more reliable repair.
In the worst case scenario, you can even apply the bin liner to the inside of the tank before emptying it, as this will do for a good emergency repair.
Sealing the pipe entry and exit holes may be a problem, but the pressure of the water will at least prevent the sides and bottom of the tank from leaking until you get a chance to do the job properly.

The best solution is of course, to apply a polythene bag to the inside of the tank before it fails, so next time you are up there, and if the tank looks suspect, then take a large bin liner and have a practice to see if you can make it fit.

By using good quality plastic, this makes a very good alternative to replacing the water tank, as not all bodges are temporary, and in many cases, can be a 'belt and braces' approach for total reliability.

Replacing a tap.

Sink and kitchen taps are available in short or long bodies, longer allow extra height in the sink to fill the kettle, while the shorter bodies look nicer in the bathroom wash basin.
Before buying, inspect the pipe connection on the new tap body for damage. It must be perfectly machined and free of scratches on the conical internal end of the base where the pipe fits. If buying loose from a wholesaler, inspect and choose carefully.

If there is a length of spare copper pipe available, practice fitting the pipe fitting to the tap and pipe. Cleanliness and alignment are important.
Follow the above procedures to stop the water flow. If there is a small flow, then a plastic tub or bowl may be needed underneath. If the flow is persistent, two bowls are recommended.
Using a pipe wrench, unscrew the nut holding the tap body to the pipe. Then unscrew the large tap body retaining nut under the sink or basin. Usually this is difficult to reach and a basin wrench is required. See photo above. They are quite cheap, a tool shop in Frankfurt Gate sells them for a pound.
Get the thread tape, tap washers and pipe wrench at the same time for a total cost of four pounds or less. A good craftsman will ensure a cheap basin wrench makes a good fit on the new replacement nut. A little filing may be needed on cheaper basin wrenches for a good fit.

When the old tap is removed, check and replace with your new item.
When fitting the new tap body to the sink, always use the rubber seal or some silicone bathroom sealant between tap body and basin, to prevent water dripping down past the tap body and basin. The large tap body restraining nut must be fitted first, from underneath, before any pipe connection. As the water pipes are usually fixed, it is often easier to place this large nut up under the sink, then use the tap body to screw into it. Then the tap can be lowered into place onto the pipework.
Make sure the pipework connection is absolutely clean. Do not tighten too hard, as this is compressing a brass and copper pipe assembly. If leaks occur, try tightening further. If persistent, turn off the water, unscrew the nut, then rotate the tap body a few times on the connection to remove any particles of dirt, then try a little thread tape which can often help restore a less than perfect seal. If badly damaged, replace with new pipe back to the nearest soldered join. See later.

If fitting a modern single tap with hot and cold water mixer, then these will often have flexible pipes to attach to the old pipework. In such cases, you should always check it will all fit before working on the pipework.

Possible problems.

Pipe sizes.

The 'U' bend.

Fitting a new sink.

Before replacing a sink, it may be necessary to refit a few lengths of copper pipe. Before you commit yourself to this, first practice with a length of pipe, a small hacksaw or pipe cutter, a selection of connections, solder, emery cloth, flux and a small blow lamp.
Cut the pipe to length, neatly cut at right angles. Clean the end cut so that the are no rough edges. Then use the emery cloth or other abrasive cleaner such as pan scourers, so the bare metal is clean where the solder will flow. Apply a fine film of solder flux over the end of the pipe. Insert the two pipes fully into the connector fitting, possibly a butt join, or a 'T' piece. Then heat evenly until the solder flows fully.
For those who do not want to solder, there are also 'compression fittings', which can be used to do the same types of job. They are available in various types, including 'T' pieces.

Compression fittings are a little more expensive than soldering a connection, but very convenient. They consist of a threaded collar which is placed on the pipe, then an 'olive' which is a brass compression seal which also slides over the pipe. Then the connection or T piece or tap body is fitted to the end of the pipe and the collar used to secure the olives in the body and the collar tightened up to compress this whole into a water tight seal. These also allow easy disassembly and as such make for a much easier time if you intend to modify your house pipework regularly.
Compression fittings also allow easy repairs if you have a split pipe, perhaps from frost damage, where the damaged section is sawn out and a new section fitted, retained at both ends by compression fittings.
Having a saw, a length of pipe and a couple of compression fittings can save a load of hassles if things go badly wrong on a cold, frosty night, and affordable plumbers are never available.

With the above knowledge on taps, U bends and pipes, the old sink unit can be removed. The sink units are usually retained by some bathroom sealant and possibly a couple of brackets underneath. To remove the old, a torch (flashlight) helps, then a strong knife or screwdriver.
If the wooden work surface is to be replaced, then fit this first. Make sure it is level, otherwise the unit may not drain the water into the sink. Use a spirit level.
If the sink unit is a traditional large one-piece stainless steel basin and drainer, it will need a frame, usually a basic frame of wood.

The rear edge of the sink unit will have a lip. Fit this in place and mark the line of the lip. It may be necessary to recess the wall slightly to take the lip. In other cases, the lip may be flush against the wall and tiles will overlap to complete the seal. Make sure the drain will do its job, by placing a spoonful of water on the drain to check it flows the correct way.
It is simple to buy or build a set of front doors to fit onto the frame to match the rest of the kitchen.

On work surfaces, a hole is cut to accept the small sink units. There is usually a paper alignment sheet to act as a guide. A drill hole followed by use of a pad saw or cheap jig saw will suffice. If you have an electric drill, buy a cheap 'side cutting drill bit' for a quid.
On full size metal sink units, the underlying wooden framework should be well painted to prevent damage from moisture. It is not necessary to buy a fitted unit, as the frame need only be a stout, basic wooden structure to support the sink or worktop, possibly with a couple of hinged or sliding replacement doors fitted if required. If the old frame is in good condition, a set of new matching doors may suffice.

When there is the need to use cheap self assembly sink units with cupboards and such like, they are not so bad if assembled properly, with plenty of care and preparation. Where used for tough environments, some extra strong glue to help retain some of the unusual door hinges can be useful. In most cases, they will work reasonably well.
In damper environments, or if intending to keep for more than ten years, the edges of many components should be sealed prior to, or after assembly. This is because most components are made from horrible laminated chip board with a plastic surface. The plastic may be waterproof and hardwearing, but if water gets into the ends, the chipboard will eventually distort and weaken. It is some of these areas that should be protected from moisture, with plenty of paint soaked in. After assembly, a little bathroom sealant can be spread into all joints, covers and other gaps, the excess wiped off before it dries. Now paint the whole underside and wall surface gloss white so that the minimal light makes finding the pots, pans and such like much easier. This also makes cleaning and hygiene much easier. The undersink paintwork of the authors first sink attempt is still totally waterproof and dry after twenty five years.

Fit the sink, but do not secure. The copper pipes will often not fit, so new pipework or extensions may be needed. A gas blowlamp and some solder, plus a few short lengths of copper pipe will often suffice. Always scrupulously clean all copper pipes before soldering and use flux as recommended by your local supplier. Or use compression fittings for those who prefer an easier life.

Please note that due to modern safety practices, low lead or zero lead solder is now used. It needs a slightly higher temperature and is not always appreciated by many in the plumbing trade. (Ask for real solder if possible.)

Also get a few extra angle and T pieces.
Now is a good time to add any T pieces for later additions such as washing machine connections, if they are close by. Another possibility is a hole in an external wall for a garden tap via a 'T' piece.

Fit all the pipes loosely so they all align with the temporarily fitted sink and taps. This allows a little wiggling, so it all aligns neatly and easily.
Include small isolation valves in the pipework to each tap, so the taps can be repaired without reverting to the main stop cock.
Then the sink drain can be fitted, which uses the larger bore plastic pipework.
When all is fitted, secure the sink, using any sealant if fitted to the hole in a work surface. Then solder up the pipework, so it aligns easily with the taps. Use metal shields or trays to protect the surrounding components from excess heat. Use a new U bend and connect to the existing plastic drain pipe. The sink overflow is usually easy to connect using instructions included with the sink.

Once all is ready, open the water supply slightly to allow water pressure, but little flow. Check the pipework. Repair as necessary. When re-soldering, heating the water pipes which have water in them is a problem. To prevent pressure build up, drain the water where possible and open the taps to allow steam to escape until all water is removed and the solder can flow freely. If the water is a problem and soldering cannot be done, then use a compression fitting or two instead of soldered joins.
When all is well, paint the pipework to reduce corrosion. Seal around any forgotten areas, so that splashes will never contaminate the surroundings.

Tiling.

It is often necessary to trim a tile to shape. For a simple line, a hard tipped scoring tool is used. Score deeply on both sides, then place over a long pencil and gently press to crack along the line. For complex shapes and curves, the tile is often 'nibbled' away, using small snub nosed pliers. Alternatively very carefully score to full depth to remove the area of the tile. Both methods require patience and a few extra tiles.

If confident with sinks, whole bathrooms are but one more step beyond.

Water will not empty.

If the water does not flow out, first blow down the pipe, hoping this may temporarily clear some of the blockage, allowing the water to flow out. You may have to do this many times.

If blowing fails, it will be necessary to remove the back plate of the washing machine and repair the problem. This can get wet, especially if there is a lot of water in the machine. Either raise the washing machine up, or try to move (walk) the washing machine to the outside, where water flow will not be a problem.
To walk a heavy object, lean it onto a corner, then pivot it about this, then do the same on the other side until it gradually 'walked' out to where it is needed.
As the washing machine will be very heavy, or in a confined place, you may have to simply slide or lift the machine out from the wall and then, bit by bit and placing wooden blocks, bricks or similar items under front and rear, to gradually raise it high enough to place a large bowl under the outlet of the wash drum.
Remove the back panel and look for the moulded rubber drain pipe and sludge trap from the main wash drum. It may be shaped like bellows, with a sediment or money trap, so that heavy items do not damage the water pump. Unclip this where it connects to the water pump. The water pump will be a circular item with an electric motor concentrically attached and the outlet pipe also attached.
Releasing the rubber connection pipe will allow the whole lot of water to gush out, so be careful and have plenty of bowls ready, or be prepared to block the water flow with your hand, while an assistant empties the first bowlful of suds. You can now safely open the front door and remove the washing.

When empty, try to discern the cause of the problem. It may simply be a rubber or fluffy mat which has disintegrated in the wash and clogged up the water pump. Give everything a good clean out using a garden hose while the bowls are still underneath, so it all goes back together in a nice clean manner. If this is caused by strands clogging the pump, then you may prefer to remove the pump and tease out the strands until it is clean.

There is often a strong spring clip which holds the rubber pipe onto the pump. Take your time to use the pliers and fully open the clip, so it slides off and back on easily. It may take a few attempts.
If you get really stuck trying to refit a very strong spring clip, you can revert to using a screw type hose clip, often known as a Jubilee Clip, which is far easier to fit and available from many places, including the local garage, DIY shop and hardware store.

If like some plumbers, you simply cure the problem without finding out why, then you may be prone to the same thing again.

Done properly, this will cost you nothing other than time and a little effort. No call out fees, (or is it call lout fees?), no replacement water pump, nor many days waiting for items probably not needed.

In the worst case, if the pump has burnt out or failed, you may need to replace the pump. Make a note of the make and model of the washing machine, go to any reputable spares shop with the old pump and buy the replacement. Trades shops are often best, as their prices are lower and stock is often available off the shelf. Replacing a pump is straightforward replacement mechanics stuff and may take five minutes. Always make a note of the wiring positions before removal, so make a pencil sketch on the inside of the washing machine as a reminder before removing anything.

Typical tools - a washing up bowl, a mop, a few blocks of wood or bricks, a phillips screwdriver and a pair of pliers. (Optional - patience and a sense of humour.) Cost, one hour of your time. New pump, about a tenner.

Replacing a rubber door seal.

Drive belt.

Defrosting a fridge.

This is not technically plumbing, but is a common occurrence.
Many fridges build up layers of ice from the water laden atmosphere. Leaving the door open longer than needed means you will be defrosting more often.
For many, defrosting means removing the contents, switching off the fridge and waiting for the warmth of the air to gradually melt the build up of ice. For some, the hair dryer can be very useful. These all take time and meanwhile, the food is getting warm.
There are aerosol cans of defrosting spray and such like, but they are usually a waste of time and money.

The author has a twenty year old fridge which still works perfectly well. A simple thermal indicator strip inside ensures the temperature is safe for the food. Many older fridges don't have thermometers, yet these are very cheap and well worth checking the state of your fridge and food.

Hot air rises, and so the cooling part of the fridge is at the top, making the warmer air colder, so it falls gradually down to the bottom of the fridge. This upper cooling part of the fridge contains metal plates which draw the heat out of the compartment, and it is this which needs defrosting. To know more about fridges, see the later part of my webpage on water-cooling computers.

Unfortunately, chipping away with a knife at the ice in the fridge is likely to cause serious damage over a few years. It is far better to remove the build up of ice in some passive manner. Hot water holds a lot of heat, which easily destroys ice. But getting the water into that upper cavity is difficult.
The 'Super Tool' for easy defrosting is available from all flower shops - the long, straight-spout watering can. This is usually a small one piece plastic household water pot capable of holding a pint or two of water. (0.5 to 1 litre.)
A pair of gloves also help.
There is a drip tray below the freezer compartment and this will catch the hot water and ice, but some may trickle down to the bottom of the compartment. So remove the upper items which should not get wet, and place a towel around the edges of the tray, just below the drip tray, so it can catch any spilled water. If you have a side light in the fridge, then a cover of food cling film will prevent water causing problems.
Empty the upper cold, freezer compartment where the cooling pates and metal pipes are situated. Place the deep frozen food in a bowl and put them somewhere cool. If you live in a hot country, then you can use the bowl to hold the ice as it's removed, further keeping the food cold.
Put the kettle on and boil some water. Switch off the fridge.

While waiting for the water to boil, use a plastic or wooden frypan spatula to scrape off the excess loose ice which can be shovelled into the drip tray. Plastic or wood will not damage the fridge internals, but be wary of any small pipes at the back of the fridge cooler unit. When all excess frost is removed, empty the drip tray.

With the long spout, slowly and gently pour hot water over the very top of the cold compartment plates where the ice has built up. The water will trickle down, over the cooling metal parts, to the drip tray. After the first pint of hot water, empty the drip tray and replace it. Continue this process to melt the ice.
It will be seen that the plastic spout can get right in to the hidden areas above the metal plates. After a while large chunks of ice will fall off, or get jammed in the sides. Playing hot water on the lower plates will also allow large chunks of ice to fall off into the drip tray.

The plastic compartment panels are not very strong and the metalwork contains pipes with refrigerant which must never leak, so go carefully. You can tease lumps of ice away, but never force ice off, or try to break up chunks. Judicious use of a plastic spatula is ideal to help coax of chunks of ice, as the plastic will not damage the fridge components.
Eventually you will have lots of ice and water removed from the fridge as the last pieces of ice give up under the power of hot water.
You do not have to remove all the ice, as it will only build up again, but removing the vast majority if the ice will ensure your fridge works happily.
Once happy with the ice removal, give the fridge a good drying with the towel which helps reduce initial moisture build up. Also dry off any frosty frozen foods as they return to the freezer compartment.

This should have taken half an hour or less. The frozen foods have not been out long enough to be dangerous to their frozen state. Those from the freezer section have been placed in a bowl with chunks of ice. You have not spent money on fancy sprays or other items, nor have you resorted to chipping away with a knife which could cause irreparable damage.

Switch the fridge back on, listen for the pump motor, and check the temperature after an hour.

Fridge door seals.

Sometimes the plastic seal is physically damaged and cool air can flow from the bottom of the fridge. Silicone bathroom sealant can be used to make reasonable repairs to the plastic edging. - Just place some cling film on the fridge side, and use bathroom silicone sealant on the broken door seal and close the fridge door until it sets. The cling film will prevent the door from being glued shut.

Recycle Fridges.

A basic household plumbers tool kit.

For fitting sinks and baths, add a blowlamp, solder, flux, emery cloth or similar abrasive pipe cleaner, tiling cutter, spirit level, silicone bathroom sealant. Additional cost, if you know where to shop, twelve pounds.
Also a few wood working tools if making your own fittings.
More on plumbing later.

Wiring a plug.

There are three wires.
Red or brown. - This is L or 'live', traditionally the wire supplying power to the plug.
Blue or black. - This is N or 'neutral', traditionally carrying the power back to the supply.
Green or yellow and green. - Marked E. 'earth' or with the earth symbol. This is to protect the user by connecting to any external component, so that it will safely carry the electricity away from the user. The earth is not dissimilar to a lightning conductor.

Opening up the three pin socket, the three connectors will be seen. The wire connected to the fuse is L 'live'. It will be noticed that this wire is in a direct line to the screw connector. This is important, as if the cable is pulled out, it is this wire that must become detached first for safety.
The N or 'neutral' wire is close to the wire exit and this detaches next, leaving the safety E 'earth' wire last of all, so the user remains safe under all circumstances. They should not pull out, as there is a clamp where the cable enters the plug. If wired safely, then all could pull out in the correct sequence. - L live dangerous, then N neutral the next dangerous, then the safety E earth last of all. - Very simple, yet very clever. This assumes the plug is wired properly.

Cut the outer sheath of the cable carefully and bend it to help the cut just reach as far as needed to remove the outer cover without cutting the inner coloured plastic insulation. Then trim the length of each of the three wires to be correctly positioned in the plug. The earth wire can be left over-length for safety.
Loosen the three internal screws, remove the last 5mm of the inner cable plastic coverings, twist the copper strands for neatness and insert. Tighten the screws. Position the wires safely and neatly in the plug, and fit the strain relief, a small bracket or plate which clamps the cable. Check the correct fuse rating and then replace the cover.

How to change a fuse.

Most fuses are in the connecting three pin plug for the item. There are also larger main fuses on the main house circuit fuse box.
The fuse in a three pin plug is simple to replace. If it fails again, then the item is probably faulty and needs repair.

The main electric circuits in a house are on a few main circuits.
Under the stairs or somewhere similar lies the main fuse box. This is the place the country wide electricity network meets your house. The electricity company has their own fuse which is NOT yours to touch. The main domestic fuse box is yours to touch.
The main house hold circuits are for power and lights, three, perhaps four or five 'ring mains'. Two circuits for power. Two for lights and a fifth for an electric cooker. Also other dedicated circuits as required such as immersion heater, garage extension.
The circuits are usually a single lighting circuit and two separate power circuits.
Each power socket is connected either on an upper storey or a downstairs circuit: Two separate circuits requiring two main fuses.
A double lighting circuit is possible for upstairs and for downstairs and thus requires a fuse for each circuit. In smaller houses, a single lighting circuit is possible.
The cooker is usually on a dedicated circuit. If an immersion heater is used, another circuit may be applicable. Likewise any extension to an out-house, workshop or utility room.
For obvious reasons, all main fuses should be marked clearly on the fuse box. E.g. 'upstairs lights', 'Cooker'.

Main fuses come in two flavours, one the traditional type using a piece of wire, the other using a current trip switch. Only the former needs replacing of it's wire when it fails.

When an item stops working, such as the vacuum cleaner or a light bulb, the item should be placed in another socket on a different main fused circuit known to work, possibly upstairs. If the item still does not work, then the small fuse in the socket or plug should be replaced first. If this does not solve the problem, check for any internal fuses or thermal fuses. These are common inside kettles, Hi-fi's and computers.

Fault finding.

Don't overload your wiring.
If the test item, such as a desk lamp or electric fire has proven to work correctly for a while without failing in a different socket, but fails to work in the other socket, then the offending part of the house circuit will need to be checked.
What you are trying to discern is where the fault lies, either in the lamp, TV or whatever, or in the other wiring in the house.

Check with no items connected to the house circuit - remove all lamps, TV etc. If the fuse blows then either any permanently attached items such as the boiler heater wiring or gas boiler may be at fault, otherwise the house wiring may be faulty and will need closer inspection. If the circuit fuse does not blow, then reconnect each item one by one and check for an obvious culprit.

Assuming the main house circuit has failed, the next question is why. Check the main fuse for the house circuit. If the fuse has not blown, then it may simply be the wall socket that is at fault. If old, simply replace with a new wall socket, as old sockets will remain old and problematic. The problem may simply be a loose wire to the socket. Do not work on the wiring before removing the main fuse - see later.

A common reason is that the fuse is old and simply needs replacing. The other main reason is that the load from the various appliances is too much, such as too many fires on the circuit.
A less common problem which is more difficult is that the circuit itself has failed.

To switch off a circuit with a wire type fuse holder, first use the big switch, then remove the fuse, then turn the big switch back on.

If the circuits and fuses are clearly marked, then simply switch off the main fuse box switch and remove the appropriate fuse. Then immediately switch the fuse box back on, as even a few minutes without power can cause videos to loose their memories and cooker or heating timers to loose a few minutes !
If the circuits are not marked, then simply see which circuits are used by each fuse and mark them on the fuse positions.

On some fuse boxes, the fuse may be a trip switch. Re-setting the trip switch does not need the main switch to be switched off. The trip fuse may break again after a few minutes. If so, then you have to safely isolate the circuit and check it out.

On traditional fuse boxes, switch off the big switch on the fuse box and inspect each of the fuse holders. Replace the burnt fuse wire with the correct value of fuse wire. This is simply a case of pulling out the fuse holder, unscrewing the two retaining screws, cleaning out the old fuse wire and replacing. The fuse holder is colour coded and MUST be refitted with the correct rated fuse wire, usually 5, 15 or 30 amp. Switch off the fusebox, remove the fuse holder, switch back on. Replace the fuse wire at leisure, then switch off, replace the fuse holder with new fuse wire and switch back on.

Check the appliances again. If the fuse has blown again then perhaps that particular part of the house circuit is overloaded or at fault.
Disconnect all appliances on that circuit and replace the fuse again. - Check without any item connected. If the fuse blows then house wiring is faulty and will need closer inspection. If it does not blow, then reconnect each item one by one and check for an obvious culprit, perhaps a heater with a faulty insulation or you have decided to use a very powerful lathe, or welder or other unsuitable item on domestic wiring.

If the main fuse blows with nothing plugged in, no light, nothing, then the domestic circuit is suspect.
This 'ring main' circuit consist of three heavy wires in thick plastic and usually hidden inside the walls and under the floorboards. The thick wires start form the main fuse box, and are laid discretely through the ground or upper floor, according to its needs, and connects to al the sockets on that circuit. the wires then return to the main fuse box, to make a circuit, so that the power can be supplied to both ends of the loop, to reduce needs for very heavy wiring.
The wires are usually in shorter sections, which connect between each wall socket, and the next wire is also connected at the socket, and travels to the next, to make lots of wires connected between the sockets, to eventually make up the main circuit. Somewhere in a these wires will be a loose wire on the back of a socket, or perhaps a rodent has eaten through the insulation and caused a short circuit, or any of many problems. It becomes a case of chasing the problem.

Always remove the fuse of the circuit you are working on. Always work with that fuse in your pocket. This can save your life.

The fuse box can then be switched on, with just the faulty circuit disconnected. While the fuse for the circuit you are checking is in your pocket, you are safe. If a trip switch, place some tape over the small lever. If a button, place a warning note.
Whether in doubt or not, always use a working desk lamp or other component to check if the sockets or light connections are not live before working on them. Then check with a mains tester. If safe, each socket can be removed from the wall carefully for inspection. Look for loose wires or other obvious faults such as overheating, ageing, corrosion, water ingress, rodent problems or poor workmanship.

If all sockets are fine, then the wiring itself may be at fault, but replacing with a new socket does no harm at this point, as they are cheap and good long term insurance.
If the wiring is suspect, this could be anything from water, corrosion, rodents, falling masonry or a host of other problems. This will require checking with a circuit tester, to find the approximate problem area. This can be done by checking with a meter, or partially deconstructing a ring main to see which half causes the fault.

A 'ring main circuit' is simply a long loop to and from the circuit fuse, made of many lengths of wire between the sockets around the house, connecting all the sockets together. The advantage of a ring or loop of sockets, is that the equipment used can be supplied from both sides of the ring, so that one length of wire does not get overloaded.
You will need to know how the wiring is done in the house, and this will take time. Being able to disconnect half the wiring will help diagnose the offending area. Then doing the same for one half, then gradually working down to the faulty area.
It is sometimes easier to simply replace any suspect but hidden sections of cable rather then to check them by lifting up the floorboards.
Once the section of suspect wire is found, it will require physically checking, probably lifting floorboards and such like. In some cases, it may be possible to attach a piece of string to the old cable and use this to replace with a new length.
The best way is to solder new wire to the old so that it is very strong, and carefully tease the new wire through its tortuous, hidden path. If this does not work, then you will have to start lifting up floorboards or wall cavities or roof beams or whatever. Alternatively, you can leave the old wire in place but disconnected, then fit a new section of the ring main wising, perhaps through trunking discretely positioned in the appropriate section of the house.

When the fault is found and properly repaired, then check again.
In some cases, especially power circuits, a full new length of cable may need to be replaced, as repair by less than perfect connections is NEVER recommended. This is because hidden connections or joins can cause heat problems and possibly fire. It happens.
If a length of new cable can be fitted once, the replacement can also be done. This will be much easier, as the original faulty cable is there to help pull the new length through and into position.

To repeat, always work on a circuit with it's fuse in your pocket.
Finally check and reset any timers or clocks.

If adding a circuit to an existing one, such as another socket, ensure it does not cause the circuit to be overloaded with extra equipment.
In houses with heavy use of equipment, always make a calculation of the maximum load applied, by adding all the pieces of equipment to be used. It is very important such as returning late on a cold, wet day, when the heating is turned up, all the lights on and clothes into the washing machine or dryer.
Never have overloaded circuits.

Three 2kw electric fires on one circuit, is 3 fires x 2000 watts / 240 volts = 25 amps. Does the fuse in your fusebox handle this. Most lighting circuits are 5 amps. Ring mains at 15 amps and cooker circuits at 30 amps. Moral, do not overload your circuits, so a pair of two kilowatt fires will be safe, but three may not be safe.

For simple convenience always place a torch (flashlight), spare fuses and fuse wire, plus a small screwdriver near the fusebox. This makes for a much easier life when things go wrong. Total cost, three pounds.
If not marked, then grab a permanent felt tip marker and some masking tape, then check each circuit in turn and always mark them clearly.

You enter your house on a cold wet night, switch on the lights, heaters and the heaters don't work. - you go to the fuse box, use the torch to switch off the big switch and check each fuse, then replace the burnt fuse. Then remove all the extra items on the suspect circuit, then switch back on.
If it's the lighting circuit that blows, then the torch is even more important, although lights fuses usually only fail through long tern use and not because of any genuine electrical fault.

When electrical things go wrong, you should be three minutes away from solving the most common problems. No delays, no cost and minimal hassle.
Have a nice day :)

Fitting a new wall socket.

The main thing to consider is whether it is possible to make the more difficult, recessed form in the wall for the galvanised box, so the socket lies flush with the wall, or to have the easier method of the socket sticking out of the wall with a plastic body.
If you must use the sockets on plastic bodies sticking out of the wall, place them close to the beading, or skirting, door frames or window so the plastic trunking does not look so damn awful.
If the wall can be recessed without problems, so the tin box can be sunk into the wall, then choose this for neatness. Look for problems of brickwork, structural support. Make sure you do not make a recess in a thin or weak part of the house structure, water or gas pipe, electrical wire or other compounding problem.

Make the cable recess if needed, then a small groove for the cable and any tubing. Try to peel the old wall paper off neatly, perhaps from a neat cut to one side of the intended wall groove, so it can be folded back into place with minimal visible damage.
Fit the metal or plastic socket body, removing any of it's removable sections for easy cable entry. If recessing, fit the steel box, screwing it firmly, or with some cement for extra rigidity. On some boxes, it will be necessary to use plastic or wood wall plugs and screws. Always fit one first, then line up the box perfectly before drilling the other retaining hole. Then hammer in the plastic wall plug, or a piece of wood, then screw the item into place.
Route the cable back to the nearest connection in the ring main (see electrics), bending the cable for a neat fit. If external wiring, a few cable retaining nails with plastic clamps will keep all from moving, or preferably fit in the plastic trunking, which looks awful, but safe. If recessed, cover the cable with plaster.
If wallpapered, then you may be able to carefully peel back the wallpaper to allow a neat job. Using some special paste which softens wall paper glue may help to prevent wall paper damage.

Telephone Sockets.

The main inlet phone socket supplied by your telephone engineer will often have extra connections inside, so have a look and decide if you want to add an extra line.
In Britain, the lines have up to six wires, even though only two are needed. But it is usual to have the four main wires connected.
You can buy phone cable sockets and fit them using the accompanying crimping tool, or to push the wires into the special connections normally found inside the wall phone sockets.

The standard six wires are connected to the numbered connectors thus :
1 - Green with white ring.
2 - Blue with white ring.
3 - Orange with white ring.
4 - White with Orange ring.
5 - White with Blue ring.
6 - White with Green ring.

When one end is connected correctly, then adding the cable neatly around the house is fairly straight forward. But always look to make the shortest, neatest and safest position for the cable. Start by deciding the best place for the extension socket, and then decide if the cable should run down to the floor and along the skirting board, or if it should go sideways to the nearest door or up to the ceiling or picture rail for the neatest route.

Once laid out, and neatly restrained using the small nails with the plastic fingers, it's often worth leaving a yard or two spare, should the position need changing at a later date, as found to my advantage.

Using a multimeter.

For most cases this need only be 240 volts AC. For small items such as radios or kettles, a resistance setting measuring Ohms resistance is useful. For cars, 15 volts DC is also useful. A cheap multimeter that will do most jobs adequately can cost under a fiver. The expensive multimeters used by the trade are rarely used more than a cheap multimeter.
A multimeter has two wires with probes on the ends. If the dial setting is turned to above 240 volts AC, then this can be inserted into various sockets around the house to check they are supplying the voltage. The easiest and by far the safest way of course, is to plug in a desk lamp or other domestic appliance.
On a car, setting it to 12 volts or more on the volts DC, the probes (black to negative or earth) red to positive, will indicate if voltage is getting to the various wiring or components. For more vehicle wiring, see the authors, A builders guide to motorcycle, trike and car wiring.
If a kettle heater or lamp filament or a switch is suspect, the resistance setting in Ohms can measure the resistance between the two ends of the plug. When in the resistance (ohm) settings, movement in the needle means a small amount of power from the multimeter's internal battery is flowing, indicating there is electrical connection between the multimeter probes. If it happens to be a second hand item, and the meter current is flowing between the L or N wires and the handle, the throw the kettle/lamp/tool away !

How to fit a gas cooker.

Tip, if a similar cooker, then try to rescue any ignitors or other items which may be useful, as the delivery firm will often take the old cooker away for a sensible fee - so salvage what you can beforehand.

Before placing into position, check the hot air exit from the oven will work safely in it's intended placement. Many DIY shops will sell sheets of enamelled aluminium or steel sheet which is ideal on a wooden wall behind a cooker. Self adhesive aluminium foil on the wall can further help reduce problems. If no foil available, then use glue then edge crimp three layers of kitchen foil as used for cooking turkeys. Glue and pin to the wall. Glue will deteriorate over the intervening years, but a few drawing pins will help keep it in place. If against a wooden wall, add a thin insulating layer of wire mesh or fibreglass sheet between the foil and a wooden wall, to keep heat flow minimal.

Close the gas supply at the nearest tap or stop cock to the cooker. Disconnect the flexible connection pipe and remove the old cooker. Carefully inspect the flexible pipe and all other visible components. Connect up the new cooker to the pipe using some thread tape to ensure a good seal.

Thread tape is a fine tape of polytetrafluroethylene. (PTFE.) It is supplied on small reels about 1/2 inch wide and available in most DIY shops. (See picture in the taps section above.) Hold the reel of tape in one hand, and roll it over the thread, such that it pulls itself gently into the threads. A little tension while applying a few turns will allow the tape to be cut by pulling on the tape with the thumb on the tape leaving a clean application.

Connect any restraining chain and position the gas cooker as needed. On some cookers, an electrical connection may also be needed. Check the cooker carefully, then turn on the gas connection and check for leaks. Soapy water painted onto the pipe connections will highlight any leaks. If a leak, tighten, or clean and re-fit with new thread tape. Sniff and listen for leaks. Open the kitchen door to the outside, then turn on the gas rings for a few seconds to purge any air out of the pipework. When all is clear, check the gas rings, grill and oven light correctly and the flame looks good.

Place some water in any catchment tray around the gas rings, to indicate when the cooker is level. Adjust the cooker feet until level and secure.
Dispose of the old cooker after a week, by which time the new one should have proved reliable. If not, the old one can be replaced until the new replacement arrives. If a similar model, then keep the small ceramic igniter fingers and any easily damaged components, then place them in alloy foil in the pan tray under the cooker for safe keeping.

Occasionally the main cooker door may make a poor seal.
To check, place a strip of paper in various positions around the closed door and pull gently to check the condition of the door seal. Where it is loose, simply twist the door gently until the paper is pulled out with a better fit. Some adjustment of the hinges and door catch may be needed.
If in doubt about the cooker, place four small pieces of pastry near the corners of a pair of large trays and place them in the top and bottom of the cooker on medium heat. After an hour or so, they can be inspected and the cooker assessed for uneven front and rear heating, although the lower pastry will of course be slightly less cooked compared to the top set of pastry test pieces. If the top front is cooler, then check the door seal, as mentioned above.

Always note that gas cooker doors are only secured by a spring design, and NOT by any positive closure. This is because any gas leak can lead to an explosion, and an explosion in an confined spade is a bomb. By using a spring closure, the door can easily blow open and turn a potential bomb into just a harmless big bang. So never repair a gas door closure unless its with a similar design.

Repairing gas cookers.

Another failure of cheap British engineering.
Three years old, the oven part of our gas cooker stopped. The safety device which ensured the oven flame was on, failed. It was a simple tube which presumably pressurised a small valve which allowed the gas to flow. No flame - no gas. This safety flame sensor was a simple tube which corroded, but as this is Britain, trying to find the replacement part was a nightmare, as the gas cooker game is not as efficient as plumbing or central heating. The spare part seems impossible to hunt down, and the cooker was only three years old !

The shop said: 'We can supply a new cooker within a week - at the new price".
(Britain sucks. No wonder we have more sales staff than engineers.)

Bollox to this. I looked a little closer and realised it was just a steel tube. I simply teased it out for closer inspection, then crimped the corroded end tight. Once replaced, it worked fine !
Of course, it will not last for ever, but it will not need anything more than a replacement tube slid over the remains of the old one and hard soldered in place. The heat from the base of the flame will not be enough to melt hard solder and the heavy steel bracket will also help reduce problems when I make a replacement from a piece of old steel tubing. An alternative is to simply slide a piece of steel over the old tube and this will reduce corrosion and make repair easier and far longer lasting. I slid a length of old car steel brake pipe as a sleeve. It has worked happily for the last four years.
If you cannot find such tubing, simply make a lightly sprung roll of old tin plate, probably from a tin of baked beans, cut with scissors and rolled over a thin bar, then slid over the flame tube to protect it. I will now look at old cookers thrown away in back alleys for such parts.
If it fails, I'd have to buy a new cooker ! Certainly try to re-sleeve this little tube first.
To check it works properly, light the gas, then blow out the flames to see if the gas shuts off correctly.

This is based on living happily for thirty years with an old gas fired back boiler. The technology is robust and extremely reliable. Mine has lasted thirty odd years and still works perfectly. The thermal efficiency is still as good as modern designs and is certainly not worth replacing.
It has had two failures over the years, plus a little maintenance.

Replacing the thermocouple.

After he left, I inspected the system myself as I had nothing to loose.
The front fire is simply fixed to the wall by two screws hidden behind the easily removed front cover. This is also connected to a gas pipe which is easily disconnected once the simple valve is closed for the purpose of isolating the front fire. The back boiler fire in the old fire grate works independently of the front.

I looked for the obvious, then patched up the obviously corroded thermocouple tip by wrapping some copper wire around it, so that it would retain enough heat, which worked for many months.
Warning: Do not use this as anything more than a temprary substitute, as the extra copper will allow the thermocouple to remain warm enough to keep the polit gas flowing even if the fame is extinguished. So you may get the pilot light gas flowing for a few more minutes than desired. The pilot gas flow is minimal, but nevertheless offers a potential explosion if using naked flames. So let the themocouple cool and check the gas is not flowing and ventialte well, before attemting to relight the pilot flame.

I asked a friend who worked in the gas trade, who told me to go to the local commercial supplier. They are glad to serve the public as well as the trade. I took the obviously burnt out thermocouple and in ten seconds he placed a new one on the counter and charged a fiver.

Pleased as punch, I bought two.

The thermocouple looks like a small metal tube whose tip gets hot, on the end of a long, thin copper tube with a ceramic core and a central wire, to make the circuit. The hot tip is positioned in the pilot flame and the other end is snugly screwed into the control box.
Once fitted, follow the start up procedure, usually on a piece of paper inside the front cover.

If due to age, the pilot light ignitor does not work any more, simply use a cigarette lighter to warm the thermocouple tip. I took two tries, because the trip button on the control box took a lot of pressure.
The spare thermocouple is left in it's wrapper, lying underneath the new one. There have been no problems since.

In a draughty house where the pilot flame keeps flickering away from the thermocouple, it can cause a sensitive safety system to trip out. Simply wrap some copper wire around the thermocouple tip. This keeps the tip hot for a little while longer, should the flame be blown away from the tip in a draught for a few seconds. It is best not to fit a shield in the system, as this can cause poor airflow for the gas fire.

While the front was off, I took a little time to gently clean the various bits and pieces.

Smoky front fire.
Along the way, the front gas fire which warms the room, took to burning a little rich, when the ceramic heat tiles became sooty above the gas flame. I took off the front cover and looked closer, to find that some fluff was in the air intake pipe to the nozzles. A length of wire and a torch, and the problem was solved. A vacuum cleaner nozzle would also do the same job.

Ignitors.

Cleaning radiator sytems.

I later thought that perhaps the hot water for the bath and sink taps might need cleaning. It turned out to be spotless. This is because the water in the system is constantly changing, so contamination does not have the chance to build up in the system. The large hot water tank was spotless inside.
The only fault to be found was air in the mains water gradually building up and causing an air gap at the top of the hot water tank after many years. If you put your hand on the side of the tank, you can tell how full of hot water it is.
If you suspect there is air building up in the system, then simply find the highest point in the system close to the tank, then allow the air to bleed out. In this case, I used the highest kitchen radiator bleed vent and all is well. I now vent once a year, just before winter sets in.

The Timer.

Almost anything will do, such as a simple domestic timer, available in most shops. I went back to the same supplier, but who said the original timers aren't made anymore. I had the choice of a modern version for thirty quid, or small electronic version for twenty eight quid. I chose the modern electromechanical version because it has very simple and easy to use controls. No fiddling with digital timers or such malarkey. Easy to set the timing if the power failed and just wonderfully simple to use.
I read the instruction sheet and connected up the wires.
Once fitted, simply adjust the timer to switch the heating on and off during the day. - This was just two hours work, as I took my time reading the instructions. The biggest problem was screwing the mounting plate to the wall.

Thirty five years into the life of the system, our neighbour became a certified gas fitter. We paid him full price to check out this system. He checked for gas leaks with a gas sniffer, and then for carbon monoxide levels. Then used a smoke candle to ensure the flues were drawing the air correctly up the chimney and that the sealing was sound. He passed it with flying colours.

Basic central heating system.

If nothing else, this description will give an insight as to what is happening in your hot water system, so you can consider making repairs, perhaps even modification or fitting your own moderate central heating system.

First decide what type of central heating system is fitted or required. For many, a proper system is not possible and a compact system is needed.
For places without fireplaces, a modern compact boiler system using small bore pipes and high pressures will allow for simpler installations. These are often small wall mounted units with an external balanced flue cut through the wall to the outside. Start collecting the catalogues and decide which is best. You may even want to ask for a quote from a professional firm, if only for interest or a laugh.

If a traditional fireplace is available with a gas supply, then a full, traditional central heating system is also possible. This is also ideal if a wood, coal or other similar fuel source is used. The traditional type is a compact boiler, capable of being fitted in the back of a traditional fireplace. Often known as a back boiler system.

If using fire, coal or other traditional heating methods, a control system may not be needed, and the traditional type of boiler can simply be connected beside the heat source. For long term reliability, just the boiler unit should be connected to the flames or heat, with the pipework and connectors protected from direct heat or damage. Ability to regularly clean the boiler elements is important if using coal, peat or wood.
Where gas is used, a timer and thermostat can be fitted so it can be used to best effect.
Electric central heating is not discussed, as it is usually expensive. It can be used occasionally as a back up system, using a heater element in the hot water tank, or with a stand-alone water heater.

Look at the way the plumbing will be fitted and decide if it can be done. From the drawing, it can be seen that the cold water to the bath and sink can be either from the mains water or from the cold water tank. As cold water is used for drinking water supply as well, such as the downstairs sink (not shown), then ensure that drinking water comes direct from the mains, and not from a storage tank which may contain contaminated or stagnant water. The upper cold water reservoir is only to maintain pressure in the hot water heating system. The radiator tank does the same for the separate hot water radiator system.
The large round grey tank above the boiler is the hot water storage tank, and it will be seen that this hot water is directly connected to the boiler.

The radiator system also heated by one half of the boiler, but is otherwise a totally separate system, complete with its own smaller (yellow) header tank. The hot water and the radiator systems are not connected within the boiler unit.
As radiator systems usually contain old water which rarely changes, then this is not nice for hot water to the washing machine or bath.
If fitted, a small pump on the cold pipe beside the boiler circulates the heated water to all radiators while the boiler is lit.
The radiator tank does very little, other than ensure the system is filled and allows for a little expansion and any leakage. Radiator systems can be drained every few years to prevent getting really bad water in the system. Special radiator additives can be added to keep them internally cleaner and reduce corrosion.

Two valves are shown, one usually in the street, the other inside the house to isolate the hot water and the radiator system tanks. The other cold water plumbing is not shown.

If wanting to assess whether you want to use a hot water system, begin by measuring the space available and the number of radiators required throughout the house. Which fireplace is the best for the boiler, then the best way to route the plumbing, which should be done with great care.
If using a traditional system, decide on the best place for the hot water storage tank, which must be close and above the boiler and is often built to become part of an airing cupboard.
Decide the positions for the upper header pressure tank and any separate header tank for the radiator system which may also be in the roof space.
On back boiler systems with just two, close but higher radiators, then a pump may not be needed.
For a modern, stand-alone 'compact' wall mounted system, there will be no need for roof or hot water storage tanks.

Carefully think through the way the plumbing will be routed. It is imperative for all air in the pipes to flow up to the upper tank, if not, then air blocks will occur which can cause water hammer and damage. Water hammer is when air is trapped in the system and allows the water to flow intermittently, causing hammering in the pipes.

Do not overspecify the system. The author, a plant engineer, once inspected an oil fired library heating system and found it to be highly over specified. Even taking into account the needs of books, the small library had a system four times the necessary power. It was not always reliable. Do not get conned.

If a traditional gas fired system, the main fire and boiler are physically separate but act as one unit. The hidden boiler and its fire system is compactly fitted into the fireplace. In the same place a wood or coal fire would normally fit. The plumbing to and from it is then routed safely, without unnecessary damage to the surrounding brickwork. This will require drilling holes in any walls for the boiler to hot water tank inlet and exit pipes.
The Chimney must be cleaned first, checked for good repair and then a stainless steel sleeve fitted into the chimney to reduce corrosion of the surrounding brickwork. This flue must then be checked for good airflow. A new chimney top may be required if close to trees or other chances of intrusion by foreign particles.

A separate fire to heat the room is often fitted in front of the back boiler system.
If a coal fired boiler, then a real fire is superb, but will require regular stoking and cleaning. A gas boiler flame system is the most common and effective.
The back boiler system often consists of a large iron finned boiler unit, which may have two separate circuits. One for the radiator heating and one with the larger bore pipes leading to the insulated hot water storage tank for washing, baths etc.

A gas fire is usually operated by a control circuit. The control circuit includes a thermostat, a timer and a safety cut-out thermocouple. The thermostat controls the water temperature inside the boiler if using a gas, coal or wood fire. The timer can control the times the gas fire is lit, while the thermostat circuit can stop the gas flames when the required water temperature is reached.
On a gas back boiler, a small gas flame pilot light is continuously lit. The pilot flame acts upon a thermocouple which keeps a safety valve open and ensures the gas supply is available for use. If the pilot light extinguishes, then the gas supply is automatically cut off, so that when the control timer switches on the main gas for heating the water, but there is no pilot light to ignite the gas, nothing will happen. This is fail safe, nothing will happen unless the pilot light is burning.
When buying the back boiler system, always get a spare pilot light thermocouple tube which sits in the pilot flame, and a spare pilot light heater element which re-ignites the pilot flame. Unless the timer is complex, there is no need for a spare, as it is a simple on/off switch which will surely be available in the future. If not, then you can easily make your own using a standard timer for domestic use.
A decade ago, a British Gas fitter inspected our broken central heating and said spares were no longer available. But they could fit a new system for a thousand pounds. The failed component was available locally and was fitted within half an hour. It cost less than five pounds.
Experts rarely are. So do not get conned.

When fitting your own system, start by cleaning the chimney then fit the stainless steel chimney sleeve. This may require removing any flue damper. Temporarily fit the boiler in position. Check for a good fit, modifying the surrounds as needed. Ensure any panel or external room heater can also be fitted at the front of the boiler system. Never cement the water pipes in position, but allow room for slight expansion in the wall spaces and for insulating air to circulate. Never let the heating gases from a gas fired boiler to escape into the house, it must be sealed and then thoroughly checked for clear gas flow with a smoke candle to prevent carbon monoxide poisoning.

Decide where the hot water storage tank will be fitted, at least a few feet above the boiler to allow the hot water to rise and the cold water to sink down to the boiler unit. It must have appropriate supports to take the heavy weight. This is usually used as an airing cupboard with wooden slats to allow the warm air to circulate. Make sure the thermo flow between boiler and hot water tank is simple, with minimal bends or restrictions. This smooth routing allows the heated water in the boiler to rise to the hot water tank, while the cooler water can sink into the bottom of boiler unit. This creates a natural thermal flow, without the need for a pump and is thus fail safe. - Boiling water will rise, and the radiator tank in the roof will prevent it exceeding boiling point.
A thermostat controlled electrical heater may also be added to the hot water tank, as back-up system for when the boiler is not in use. The electrical system is usually a separate fused circuit and acts on a timer, temperature sensor and an over-ride switch.

If you enjoy a roaring coal or wood fire for heating your hot water back boiler and suspect you will soon be boiling all the water, then you may wish to fit a steam vent. Coal and wood fires are not easily controlled and steam may only appear in rare cases, a boiler, but it's always best to play safe. A steam vent is an extra, simple pipe from the top of the highest point in the hot water tank, - usually on the pipe leading out. This steam vent goes up above the header tank in the roof, over the top of the tank, with its open end positioned down inside the cold water. This will allow any steam to rise up and vent into the cooler water above, without creating excessive steam everywhere.

On traditional systems, both the hot water and the radiator systems require separate header tanks in the roof space.
These header tanks are fed from mains via a stop cock. Always include overflow pipes just above the standard water level, should the ball valve fail. When fitting an overflow pipe, the pipe should flow to the outside, as a visual warning of failure. Never let them drip into a gutter, but onto the patio or somewhere where they can warn of impending problems. Such overflow pipes are a safety warning system, not a minor inconvenience.
Connect the upper header tanks to the mains water supply. If the tanks are close together, a single pipe with an upper T piece will ensure simplicity and allow a single emergency stop cock.
The domestic hot water header tank maintains a head of water and need not be very large if the ball cock control flow is adequate. If a bath is used, then a larger tank is recommended to prevent drain down.
The header tank for the radiator system can be much smaller. The radiator system is separate, so that the unchanging water in the radiator system does not contaminate the domestic hot tap water. Note that the radiator header tank piping is connected to the cold side, so that very little heat will work it's way up to the tank, to reduce heat energy loss.
These header tanks are filled with float controlled valves essentially similar to the toilet flush tanks. If fitting galvanised steel header tanks, always mount on sturdy planks and give them a very good coat of paint, as they may not be seen again for many decades. Cover these tanks and plumbing with insulation to prevent frost damage. If access is difficult, try to ensure the ball cock can easily be replaced. Use high reliability components if access is difficult. If plenty of room, then regular maintenance may be suitable.

Tanks in the attic can suffer from frost, so always insulate the tanks fully. Even if only using unwanted blankets, sleeping bags or duvets, keep the tank tightly snug with no air gaps, then tie down with string with a bow knot so it can be easily accessed next time.
Those old sleeping bags with side zips are also ideal for insulating the lower hot water storage tank to keep the heat in,- the more the merrier.

A good engineer is a lazy engineer. If wishing to follow this precept, then place spare float valve seals and washers with the tanks, sealed in plastic bags, so that any failure is a short duration problem.
Fit the header tanks in the roof and connect the ball cocks to the mains water supply via a stop valve.
Connect the domestic hot water header tank in the roof to the lower pipe of the hot water storage tank. This ensures cold water does not disturb or mix with the hot water in the top of the hot water tank. This 'head' of water allows the hot water to be pressurised so it will flow to the bath, sinks, washing machine etc.
The radiator tank is connected to the lower end of the radiator half of the back boiler. Being a sealed system, the central heating system will collect sediment at the bottom of the system and can cause the flow to be restricted, placing an overload on the pump. This system will therefore require a low point drain cock for sediment removal. This is usually a few feet from the boiler so that the boiler can be easily flushed without having to be disassembled. Always have a low point sediment drain, so the radiator system can be drained five-yearly. The drain is usually a drain cock with a hose pipe connector. For convenience, this can employ a permanently fitted copper or plastic external drain pipe, with the tap indoors to prevent frost damage. Plug the open end with as easily removable plug, to prevent rodents or detritus entering in the intervening years. A clear plastic pipe will allow easy assessment of the amount of sediment.
Don't use antifreeze in the radiator system, as cross contamination in the boiler may happen in the far future. There are some anti contaminant additives, but first ask about them at your local supplier.

Fit pipes from the top of the hot water storage tank, to the basins and bath, dish washer and washing machine etc. This upper pipe supplying the hot water is a problem area, as this is where air can be trapped en route to the various components. Therefore it is important for all air in these pipes to be able to bubble upwards to the header tank or a vent tap. In such situations, it may be preferable to work back from the basin taps, figuring how the air will be expelled. Although all pipes are neatly aligned in the house, just a slight uphill slope on certain pipes will ensure no air remains in the system and thus it will work as perfectly as is possible. Take a few days and think it through carefully. In many cases, air trapped close to taps will simply be vented by fast water flow. In other places, especially part way along the route, the pipes may create a large air entrapment section. Avoid air entrapment at all costs. If it cannot be avoided, simply fit a small bore vent pipe to any offending section using a T piece on the higher bend, then route it back to the header tank in the roof or to a similar height or route it back to join the pipe from the header tank. Self venting pipe units are also available, which allow air to escape but do not allow water to exit. Always ensure such units have their vents protected from dirt. A small, loose fitting plastic cover will often suffice.
Radiators also have small vent cocks on their tops to expel air, and can be used as part of the venting system.

If a bath is fitted, then large bore pipes should be used to the bath, but otherwise, smaller pipes can be used to the rest. Next time you visit the copper pipes section in the DIY store, consider what they are for. If in doubt, also check the standard and bath taps for pipe sizes and fittings.
If routed carefully, the bath pipes can also be the main supply though part of the house, with any convenient tap-offs to nearby sinks etc.
Always lag or insulate the hot water pipes to reduce heat loss.

Radiators. When more than two thermally positioned radiators are used, the radiator heating system side of the boiler will require a pump, as the route of small pipes to many and various radiators will not permit thermo flow. Place the pump somewhere convenient, preferably close to the boiler and a suitable electricity supply and any control system. The pump can be easily switched on at the same time as the boiler, so it is only used when needed. Pumps are fairly quiet, but if hidden will not be heard. Pumps are electrically driven and usually connected on the same supply as the control electrics and timer via a fuse. Although unlikely, some pumps can leak, so a small water container under the pump will help evaporate any minor problem leakages and highlight possible maintenance requirements.
If using just one or two close radiators in the rooms directly above, then a pump may not be needed. The routing of pipework to all radiators will require some thought. Most radiators have an air vent on them, so air entrapment should not be much of a problem.

The next area of concern is whether to have a cheaper single radiator circuit or proper dual circuit.
A single circuit has all radiators on a single loop, where the water circulates through all and all the radiators get hot.
The dual circuit has two pipes past all radiators, one hot pipe from the boiler, the other a cool return pipe, allowing each radiator to be connected via a valve so each can be warmed as and when needed.
If not using all the radiators at the same time, both a dual supply and return pipe to each radiator is normally needed, so that turning on the tap will allow the radiator to heat up. This usually involves a thermostat attached to the radiator.

For very simple circuits, a single flow through all radiators will reduce pipework by half, but the problem is that all radiators will heat up. To offer a degree of control, two separate circuits with temperature or just basic on/off valves to control the flow to each circuit can be used. This may be regular rooms, plus a second circuit for guest bedrooms and storage rooms. Remember that rooms change over the lifetime of a central heating system, so do not expect a compromise heating system to be a perfect heating system for the next thirty years or more.
A variation on the simple single circuit design, is to have the rarely used radiators enclosed and the heat only released using flaps. This way, most of the heat is only supplied where needed, while using simple plumbing. A simple plywood radiator enclosure with upper adjustable vent or lid will suffice.

Modern compact systems.
Compact wall mounted boiler systems are often large white boxes mounted on an internal wall. They usually have a hole in the wall to the outside of the house for the balanced flue system. These are lightweight and usually supply hot water on demand, without a hot water storage tank or a roof mounted header tank. Hot water for radiators uses smaller bore pipes and a high pressure pump to keep costs down. The internals of a single stand alone box can be very complex but otherwise is much easier to fit. The small bore pipes do not suffer so badly from air entrapment and flexible pipes are often used to make plumbing a comparative doddle.

Water pressure problems.
The small, stand-alone systems are directly connected to the mains water. A problem may arise from high pressure. If the mains supply is at a high pressure, a pressure regulator can be fitted to maintain a more balanced water system.
Please note: Mains cold water is usually at a far higher pressure than that supplied from header tanks. When cold mains water is mixed with water from a hot water system, such as a shower unit, the hot and cold will be at different pressures. Mixing these will give a variation in shower temperatures unless the systems use similar water pressures. This can cause temperature fluctuation with different water flows, especially in showers and sink mixer tap units. This is not always a problem and rarely requires a balanced mains cold and domestic hot water system pressures for most uses. If making the best, then consider this potential problem area and balance both hot and cold supplies to the same pressure.

When all the pipework is done, fill each system in turn with water. Check for leaks and air blocks. Open all control valves and bleed the radiators of air. Repair or modify as needed. Tap each length of pipe with a pencil to listen to the sound, to ensure no air entrapment. Run each tap and listen for water hammer. If all works well, then tidy up any minor problems. Check the hot water tank support is suitably strong as it fills up. If any hot water tank electric heater is fitted, connect it to a separate power circuit to the main fuse box, then mark it clearly. Check the timer and use a multimeter to check the heater works. Fit the hot water insulation jacket.

When fitted, the whole system is ready to be fired.
Connect up an extension gas pipe from the nearest components, such as the gas cooker. This is the same as the rest of the plumbing, with simple soldered copper piping, but the need to check for gas leakage by smell and soapy water over all connections. (Washing up liquid contains amonia, which can coreide the pipes over many years, so always use a small ammount ansd wash with clean water before repairing the leak.

Ensure there is a gas stop cock close to the boiler system, so it can be isolated from the gas supply. Check for leaks. A T piece and a secondary isolation cock can be fitted at the same time if a domestic gas heater is to be used in front of the boiler system.

Fit the gas firing system to the boiler unit and fit the chimney flue and other details as required by the specific system as required in its instructions. Connect up the gas, and allow it to pressurise. Use soapy water to check for leaks on the pipes. Check the firing of the gas boiler heating system. Set the temperatures low and use manual override until the timer is set-up. Check the thermostat works and the heat does not cause problems in the plumbing.
Test the system and ensure the gas flue air rises, checking with a smoke candle. Smoke candles are available from the same place as the boiler and other components.
ALWAYS check for carbon monoxide levels during the test. Always fit a carbon monoxide warning device and ensure the battery is in good condition.

Eventually the water will heat up the first time and the hot water tank will gradually get warmer. The radiator system will also heat up and the pump should move the warm water through the radiators.
Check the temperature settings, with the hot water temperature set low for easy checking, then raised in steps to check it works correctly. Check all pipe connections for leaks.

The boiler can be fronted with a separate gar heater, or can be closed off with a simple panel with just a cold air vent at the base. Make sure this is large enough for the air required by the boiler on full heat.
When all is well, consider a front gas domestic fire to fit over the front of the boiler, which can be fitted to fit the spare isolation valve on the gas supply pipe.
Make further checks for gas flue flow up the chimney using a smoke candle, and always check for carbon monoxide which is poisonous.

It is assumed that the reader has sought out second hand radiators and such like, as most items are available for less than half price. Always have a good look around while deciding whether to do your own central heating. Start planning six months ahead, get to know the process and the prices. Ask questions to build up your knowledge base. A bit of thinking now and then, plus a fortnight fitting your own central heating can save many, many thousands of pounds. Then have it checked by a trustworthy, independent expert. Checking out the insurance and such like is up to the owner.

White Box systems.

Modern hot water systems use a 'white box' - a stand alone device which only boils water on demand.
They use a sealed design, where they take air from outside the building and exhaust it the same way using a concentric pair of tubes which also balance the air flow pressure in the system.
These white boxes last about 15 to 20 years or so, and in many cases it may be better to consider 'repair by replacement', especialy with the exorbitant costs of proffesional plumbers and parts.
They have all the connections required for cold water inlet, hot water outlet and integral timer systems. They also have a pump for supplying a separate system for radiators, which should always be separate to the hot water for washing and drinking.
So if you decide to use such a system, then the flue pipe is important, as they must not be more than a metre or so, but the flue pipe can be horizontal through a wall, or vertical through a roof.
If fiting such a system, then by fitting easily closed valves nearby for gas and water, they can be easily replaced every fifteen years or so.

Alternatives to complex central heating.

General preparation and maintenance.

Popular places for your consideration.
Rust. Just a slap of spray oil or 'maintenance spray' to keep the effects at bay a little longer, Likewise an old can of hair lacquer will also act as a water proof spray. This is useful if the interior paint work is minimal, such as inside a washing machine.
Damp over electrics. Not all utility rooms are dry. A look inside a washing machine should show many connections. A quick squirt of maintenance spray should to the job. Likewise an old can of hair lacquer will also act as a water proof spray.
Sensors in gas flames. Just use a small steel or copper tube slid over to protect it from corrosion, but still allow it to get hot.
Rubber components. Not much you can do for washing machine door seals, other than reduce oxidation by wiping them dry or leave the door open to dry off in its own time.
If rubber mountings corrode, they do so from ozone deterioration, so if any rubber mounts such as holding a washing machine internals looks as if its deteriorating, then give a brush over with boot polish or other flexible covering to prevent further deterioration. Most rubber mounts now use a synthetic rubber which do not have such problems.
Water components. Hair lacquer over the electrical connectors and splash areas will reduce corrosion. Likewise a few carefully place plastic bags will prevent a condensation drip from casing problems, should you see a drip mark.

There are many other methods, but all are usually common sense. The use of hair lacquer is also useful if your car sparks cables suffer in damp weather, as the hair lacquer makes a good water sealant when sprayed over the dried and assembled components.
The author is an unemployed male engineer, but regularly uses hair lacquer, clear and coloured nail varnish and lots of other common stuff in an engineering manner. So can you !
Hair lacquer (for sealing against water), bright nail varnish (for indicators), cotton buds (for cleaning), fibre nail files (for cleaning points) and acetone nail varnish remover (to clean or dissolve everything) can all be part of an engineers tool kit, next to my cans of graphite grease, oil and brake fluid.

'Repairing' Rechargeable drill power supplies.

I was recently given a 19 volt cordless drill with all the bells and whistles, simply because the power supply had failed. It was essentially junk because the manufacturer had discontinued the line.
Yes, you guessed it, I looked for a solution. I had always wanted such a nice drill and a mere power supply was not going to be a hurdle. The problems was to get a power supply for a 19 volt drill. I looked high and low, but the 24 volt transformers were over five quid ! This was before a box, plus, and electronics would be added to the cost.

The salvation was an old laptop computer power supply for quid. (about one dollar thirty cents US) It stated on the casing +12v-12v +5v -5v and this would do. I opened it up and tried to decipher the circuitry. Simple to say, I simply removed all the capacitors, chips and resistors etc. from the small circuit board. I then plugged it in and found the centre tap of the transformer for the +12 volts and - 12 volts, then place my multimeter across them to check 24 volts was available. I then used the old diodes to make a simple bridge rectifier across these to give me unregulated 24 volts DC. This was going to charge nicads and these take a good hammering, so all was well. Nicads are usually 1.2 volts and the cheaper drills use 1.2 amp hour batteries. (You can replace these with some far superior tagged 2Ah nicads simply by opening up the battery pack and swapping them.) The batteries in this drill were 1.2 volt, 1200 mAh nicads.

Another useful soucrce of power units is old printer power supllies, either taken fron iside the printer, or fitted externally, they are all worth their weight in gold to the savvy fixer.

Not having a charger socket for the battery pack, I simply connected two wires to an old clothes peg, reshaped to clip across the battery pack terminals, then used a multimeter to see how much current was flowing. It stabilised at 300 milliamps. This would charge the 1.2 mAh nicads in 1200/300 = 4 hours.

Applying 24 volts across 19 volt battery pack will suffice. If you supply a 19 volt charger across a 19 volt battery pack, it would not charge.

If this was a super fancy 24 volt rechargeable drill, it could have been scrap, as 30 volt transformers are rare, so I would have simply used an unregulated 24 volt transformer with simple bridge rectifier, as these can supply more than 24 volts.
If desperate or wanting a faster charge time, I could remove or isolate a battery or two in the pack and run the 24 volt motor at 22.8 volts. It would not be ideal, but at least it would charge up. I am sure you know that I happily charge up my many and free 24 volt drills using an unregulated 24 volt transformer as this will supply just over 24 volts on a low drain.

When building your own battery chargers, look out for the time needed to charge the battery. Fast charges under an hour are dangerous, so don't, until you know a lot more. Best to stick to a three or more hour charge. If my one-quid charger was too fast, then I would place a power resistor in the line to drop the current flow. If it was too slow a charge I would remove a battery from the pack (or isolate it) and have some extra voltage over the base voltage to allow it to charge up.
I bought a spare power supply transformer unit for another quid, just in case.

If a good power tool suffers from a duff battery unit, then simply strip and test each battery with a multimeter, to see whicis the duf fone, then replace with a similar battery from a spare power pack. Wth time, a selection of sub-C cells and the internal heat cut outs will ensure you can buld power packs for all the particularly good tools.
My 12v nimh air pump, being popular with kids with push bikes and local car owners, now has three power packs.

Trigger controllers.
I recently had a problem with my 24 volt and my 240 volt drill. The controllers went and burnt out. These are little circuits behind the trigger. I simply removed the circuit and fitted a simple on - off button switch for a quid. Admittedly, the speed control is no longer available and is only an on off, but a little judicial pressing of this button allows the drill to work perfectly well for most jobs. The bi directional switch still works as originally fitted. This is a little fiddly to do, but is essentially a case of gutting the damaged circuitry and fitting a simple button switch. (Two - part epoxy putty is ideal for this type of repair.)

If interested in building your own tools, check out my guide to motorcycle mechanics. From simple pullers to wind tunnels, you can have all the tools you need or desire, without being fleeced.

(If it takes two hours to repair a 50 quid drill / bike / video / computer / printer / or whatever, then you have effectively employed yourself at 25 pounds an hour. If you fix your plumbing rather than spend two thouand pounds, then you guess what you are worth !)

Wallpapering and basic decorating.

Where carpets are fitted, then they must be lifted, rolled into the centre of the room and covered, or if fitted carpets, use lots of masking tape and newspaper. This will use a lot of tape, but is far cheaper than the cost of repairing a carpet. If the old curtains are not to be used, then pin these down over the newspaper, to help protect the carpet.
Remove all wallpaper and rub down the walls with coarse abrasive paper to give a smooth surface.
For ease of removal, buy some wallpaper remover. This mixes with water and softens the glue behind the wallpaper, making life ten times easier and ten times faster.

Fit any new wall power sockets, telephone sockets lamp fittings and such like.
Fill any holes, dents and irregularities in the walls.
The best abrasive paper is that as supplied on heavy rolls of green or yellow thick paper. Can often be bought by the foot. Use a wooden block to keep it level for a good surface.
When the walls are clean, remove most of the mess, then tidy up the woodwork, picture rails, skirting boards, window frames and fittings.
The picture rails and skirting boards may have collected a lot of dirt, so use sugar soap and water for a good clean before painting. Fill in any dents, rub down with mild abrasive paper to remove any irregularities and filler. Then brush absolutely clean before undercoating. Then start painting from the top downwards.
If any new electrical wall sockets or burglar alarm or phone or modem lines are to be fitted, then now is the best time. If you are older or disabled, consider placing the sockets at waist height, it makes for easier ironing and when plugging in the vacuum cleaner and laptop around the house.

Painting. First rub down to remove imperfections, fill and rub down again. Then use primer paint and if needed, rub down lightly. Finally the coat(s) of paint.

Painting window frames can be tricky, so the paint brush is lightly loaded with a little paint, then the brush used to create a bead of paint on the edge near the glass, and this is guided by the brush for a perfect line. Where paint gets onto the glass, it can be scraped off when dry, using a sharp knife.

If the bare walls are dark, and using light wallpaper, then give the walls a light coat of thinned white emulsion to help tease out the lightness of the wallpaper. This is particularly useful when two different darknesses of walls are near each other.

Fitting a new wall socket.

(If fitting a signal or power socket, then to maintain a clean modem signal, try not to fit a phone line near a mains wire but if you must, then cover the phone cable in cooking foil. If possible try to earth the foil to a water pipe with a simple length of copper bell wire. Fibre optic is almost problem free, but never allow any sharp bends !)

Make the recess if needed, then a small groove for the cable and any tubing. Fit the metal or plastic socket body, removing any of it's removable sections for easy cable entry. If recessing, fit the steel box, screwing it firmly, or with some cement for extra rigidity. On some boxes, it will be necessary to use plastic or wood wall plugs and screws. Always fit one first, then line up the box perfectly before drilling the other retaining hole. Then hammer in the plastic wall plug, or a piece of wood, then screw the item into place.
Route the cable back to the nearest connection in the ring main (see electrics), bending the solid copper cored cable for a neat fit. If external wiring, a few cable retaining nails with plastic clamps will keep all from moving, or preferably fit in the plastic trunking, which looks awful, but safe. If recessed, cover the cable with plaster

Remember: We live in a world where power is incresingly in demand, so always over specify your circuitry, and thereby leave plenty of room for more usuage with time. Thicker cables than needed and ensure the fuse box has plenty of extra capcity.

Fitting a new door.

When trimming the size on weaker doors, always remove wood from both sides, and from top and bottom for an evenly stressed door. A little extra wood left on the hinge side does no harm.
If fitting a new door or hinges, get the door to a nice fit then place a couple of small wedges under the door while in place, allowing you to accurately mark the hinge positions. Remove and cut out the hinge recesses. Always use strong screws, but just one at top and bottom at first. Leave the screws slightly loose, so the hinges can align correctly. Check the door opens and shuts as needed. Tighten the hinge screws and re-check, then fit the other screws. Mark out and cut the openings for the handle and catch or lock fittings. Check the fit of all and refine as needed.
Remove the door, fit any glass, letterboxes, spy holes or other components, then sand down fully, lacquer, or apply undercoat and paint.
With the door off and laid horizontal in a clean room without dust, the paint will flow evenly on one side for a perfect finish. When dry, turn over and paint or varnish the other side. For outside use, always give a few extra coats of paint or varnish. Refit all components and remount. Fit any draught excluders if required.

When all the paintwork and other fittings are done, the wallpapering can commence.

Wallpapering.

When ready to paste up the wall paper, first decide which is the most vertical line, usually a door or corner. If none, make a vertical line in the middle of a wall using a pencil and a spirit level, or a plumb bob, a piece of string with a weight on the end. To make a plumb line, tie a metal spoon to a piece of thin string. This can then be used to stir the tea without getting lost.
On older walls without many straight lines, choose the straightest, then work outwards from these. If none, then drop a perfect line of paper in the middle of the best walls, then work outwards to the corners.
From this line, unroll a length of paper a little longer than needed. Mix up the wallpaper paste as recommended in the instructions. Paste the back of the paper and handle carefully to place against the wall, so that it lies easily in place.
To carry the paper to the wall without tripping over it, fold the length of paper so it makes three folded layers, with the glued sides together while still on the table. Then carry it towards the wall, with the open glued face towards the wall. You should be able to hold the top of the paper with the thumbs and forefingers, and the loop of the other folds with your little fingers.
Place the top of the paper in position, and allow it to fall into place. Do not tug or pull on the paper. If it does not line up correctly, simply peel it off slowly either from top or bottom, whichever is appropriate and let it return to the wall in its own gentle way without pressure.
This is a very gentle exercise.
If no ladder is available, use a very clean, soft broom to help position it. If dirty, cover the broom in a towel. When lined up on the wall, the paper can be carefully repositioned until perfectly aligned on one edge. Alignment is done by lifting the bottom off and laying it back on as needed.
When about correctly placed on the wall, gently smooth the paper onto the wall.
A wide, soft paint brush or wallpaper brush is recommended, as this will allow all air bubbles to be removed as the paper is gradually laid upon the wall. The brush must apply almost no pressure, but merely ensure a flat and even contact of the paper on the wall. Then a damp soft cloth or small towel can be used to gently tease the edge into perfect alignment with the previous sheet.
It is often found that there are large pockets of air, so gently lift the bottom of the paper off the wall and allow it to fall in such a way as to allow the soft brush to eliminate these air bubbles as it if gently brushed onto the wall as the paper is brushed lower and lower onto the wall.

With patterns which must align, first check the patterns will align, and do not fit the paper upside down, yet ensure surplus paper at top and bottom for trimming. For small repeated patterns, it is merely necessary to cut to length plus one full pattern sequence.
When the walls have been papered, the top and bottom ends can then be trimmed. Push the paper neatly into the edges with a thin metal sheet or a ruler to hold the paper secure to prevent tearing while you trim with a sharp knife. A little extra wall paper paste may be needed for loose ends. If it tears, simply tuck it back into position.
Papering around a light switch or other socket is done neatly by leaving the item hanging off the wall a little way, then cutting an X shape hole around it, trimming the wallpaper and tucking it underneath the light fitting, then screwing the fitting back onto the wall. Always work with the fuse for that particular circuit in your pocket. Always carefully check the electrical connections before replacing the fuse. See also electrics.
When all is well, gently wash down the wallpaper with a damp cloth to remove any excess paste.
If any air bubbles, use a pin to expel the air. If excess glue lumps, use a sharp knife to make a small slit to gently remove excess glue.
Walk around the room looking for imperfections and adjust the paper until perfect.
Place the spare wallpaper in poly bags and mark with the name of the room. Mark any special colour of spare paint with the same details and store all carefully.

Repairing traditional Sash Windows.

It is often preferable to remove the lower window first, then remove the upper window, then replace the upper window and to finish with the lower inner window. This allows much easier access to the upper window components without having to lean out unnecessarily.
On upper floors, it is easy and far better to work both windows from the inside for safety.

Replace the upper window and components, the check it works well, the replace the guide rail. Then do likewise for the lower window.
After painting, it may be advisable to run a wax candle up and down the runner grooves to help the window move easily.
Done properly with the weights adjusted perfectly, the window should be able to be raised and lowered with just one finger.

Self assembly furniture.

It is a sign of the times that few have real carpentry skills anymore. Teaching school kids the proper way to use a wood chisel is not easy, even if it there is any budget left for wood, once the computer section has creamed off most of the cash.
So we are left with a society deficient in carpentry skills and we have only ourselves to blame. For this Britain gets the booby prize - self assembly furniture.
There is no point in complaining, you just simply have to get on and make the best of a bad job. And what a bad job it is. Despite millions of investment in tooling to make superbly accurate components from cheap, often terrible materials, the ability to make adequate furniture is quite startling. The unfortunate truth dawns a few years down the line, when the owner realised this is disposable furniture, and certainly far, far worse than the oft derided post war 'utility' furniture. As to comparing it with real furniture is a joke and an insult to anyone who can appreciate craftsmanship.

Well, you have the big, heavy flatpack cardboard box delivered.
With a little luck no sides will have been scratched, causing the plastic wood effect trim to be chipped off.
Lay it flat and unpack the components carefully in the room the item of furniture is to be used. It is best to build it in the actual room, as moving such marginal furniture is prone to breaking it.
Open up the components and separate the items into similar pieces, with the intention of deciding how many drawer fronts, shelving pieces and such like there are. Gradual comparison will allow the jigsaw puzzler to have discretely separated items.
Place the minor items such as drawer and door components to one side, along with the plastic bags of assembly fittings. This will allow a large, clear assembly area.
The main components of side, top, bottom and internal structural pieces to be easily inspected and then associated relative to the minimalism instruction sheet.

Tools. A simple light weight hammer, or rubber mallet for fitting some of the stiffer wooden and plastic parts. Get yourself a decent cross point screwdriver. If you don't have one, take one screw to the tool shop and get one that fits perfectly. Electric screwdrivers - see later.

The instruction sheet. More of a liability disclaimer, with so few instructions as to be lawyer proof. Despite the minimalist approach, figure out which of the assembly fixtures are to be mated with the large slabs. Never assemble anything yet, you are only getting to know what's what and where, and the strange way it is to be assembled in the modern world. There will be no clues from classic carpentry texts.
I look for all the smaller item such as the cupboards and doors, and any other items which are secondary to the main rectangular box and can be put to one side for a while.

After a while, the jigsaw puzzle will gradually grow together in the mind, as a three dimension structure resembling the drawing in the instruction sheet. Lay one main side on the carpet, with the base near the area of the room it is to be fitted, then carefully and gradually and carefully fit the parts for one side, so the sides can be easily fitted to them. To prevent the chip board from undue stress, try to fit one side to a centre section first.

Look upon it as more of a cheap mechanical assembly process using quick fix, cheap metal components. One must not decry the supreme technical precision of many of these cheap components, as they manage to make an otherwise nasty piece of laminated chipboard into a very usable structure.

The general approach to a typical large cupboard is thus: Because of the two outer uprights, then the inner sections which will eventually lie horizontally, will have their dowels or brackets such that they do not slide down the inner face. Therefore these inner sections can be fitted into the side lying on the floor and the basic case built up. Then the other side finally added. Then this basic and very wobbly rectangle can be laid on its front, so that any supporting backing can be added before moving it any further.

ALWAYS DO A 'DRY BUILD' FIRST.
A 'dry build' is simply an approximately close attempt at bulding it, but without the glue or screws. The best ways is to buld with the back of the unit laid on the floor, so the larger bits do not crack or break. This way, you will at least be able to see where and how all the bits should actualy fit.
To save pennies, only the front edges will have finish material, so any bare edges are probably not seen, and can thereby show the difference between the front and rear edges of the main stucture.

ALWAYS LOOK FOR BOOBY TRAPS.
After the dry build, you should have the main structure in the correct positions. Now look for the booby traps - do not indert the drawer side runners upside down - do not forget any important part which must be fitted first, such as wooden dowels and main support brakets.

PREVENT BREAKAGE.
As this chip board stuff is less than strong, you may wish to insert certain parts before assembly such as drawer runners into the main side pannels and hinges and such like. By going a dry build, you can place these components in 'hand tight', then fit them securely with a rubber hammer - but only if you are absolutely sure they are aligned corectly.
If in ANY doubt, always do this last. Always ensure any hammer work also has an equal and opposite weight behind any item you are hammering, so as not to break the chipboard.

If you are really flummoxed as to where the main parts go, then always lay one side against a wall, then prop up the top and inner parts, so the jigsaw is loosely built up prior to assembly, as this will give clues as to where the parts will eventually go and just as importantly, where the other bits may eventually go. You will also notice where the front edges go, and the untrimmed rear edges with tatty finish are to be hidden.- If in doubt, always do a dummy dry build first.

If the central shelves and top and bottom need to have fixings hammered in place, then do these first, so the sheets can be laid flat while hammering to prevent damage. If you have a rubber camping mallet as used for tent pegs, consider using this first, to see if it will do the job, as it is less likely to damage the components. If not, then use a wooden mallet and if nothing else, then the ordinary metal hammer. If you are totally deficient in the hammer department, then use a big block of wood. Use a rubber or wooden hammer for non metal parts, and a metal hammer for nails and such like.
Make sure the outside edges are facing the floor and double check each component, so the bare chipboard edges go to the rear and thus correctly positioned.
Gradually tighten all the fixtures enough to be tight, but not too tight as to pull the components or screws out of the weak wood.

Sometimes there will be corner blocks which take two or three screws at right angles to secure components. It is important to place the screws in the block, then hold the blocks level with the edge of the component to fix it into place. This will ensure the joined components have a good chance of tightening to make a right angle.

Eventually there will be just one side, the top and middle pieces fitted together. Then the other side can be fitted to make a box structure. This simple box will be open face down, allowing the rear panels to be fitted.

Accuracy.
With the basic box assembled, you now need to make sure it is perfectly square at all corners. Lay the unit face down, with the back facing upwards, as this is where any back panels are to be fitted and it is these which will keep it square and prevent distortion or wobbling. -
Measure the diagonals with a tape measure, to ensure the basic structure is absolutely square. If you have no tape measure, then the other superbly machined components such as cupboard bases will offer surprisingly good 90 degree sheets for checking the corners.
When square, loosely lay all the thin backing sheets on the back, to check how much overlap is available, plus any central joining plastic H strips. Fit one backing sheet first, using it to keep the structure absolutely square.
Warning: You are about to loose sight of where the small nails will need to be hammered into the back of the shelves, so get a pencil out now and mark the back of the first sheet. Then hammer in a tack on each of the cross section shelves, so that they will guide further pining. Do not hammer them all the way in, but let them stand proud, as a guide to other small nails later, guided by a ruler or piece of string between the nails.
Then offer up the next backing strip, which may need a H plastic strip slid between both pieces. This is difficult, so simply leave the strip out, lay the two sheets, together, then slide the H strip between them the full length. Tack the second sheet to prevent the H strip coming out. Again, tack any cross shelves before they are lost to sight. Then nail the whole of the back as needed.
If you do not have a small metal hammer for the small nails, then use a piece of cardboard to hold them while hammering as these are fairly small nails. To alternatively hold them in place without damaging your finger nails, hold the nail in a comb.

When the back is in place, it is safe to carefully lift the unit upright.

When lifting, always apply even pressure, as these units distort all to too easily and may break some of the fixtures. Lift the unit upright carefully. If the unit was assembled with the base near the intended corner of the room, then it should not need much moving into position.
To carefully move such a unit, 'walk' it in the corners, rotating it about an edge. Always do any moving before fitting any heavy items such as doors or cupboards.

With the basic unit in place, it can be wedged slightly underneath at the front, so it does not wobble too much, and also wedged to stand perfectly straight.
There are special plastic wedges which have a central groove the thickness of the flat pack material and these wedges are also slotted such that they can be easily trimmed so that any excess sticking out the front can be removed.

Well done, the hardest part is done.

The sliding drawers are easily assembled if a careful approach is made. It will be noticed that the inside of the drawer fronts is veneered, so the only place the adhesive will stick is in the dowel holes, therefore use plenty of glue around the dowels. To improve strength, apply some glue in the slots which take the hardboard bases.
TIP: The easiest way to cut the sachets of glue is to cut just close to the corner as shown to allow a neat bead of glue to be applied where needed.
To assemble the drawers, glue the holes in the fronts, and then along the slots. The backs can be laid flat and the chamfered cuts glued for secure adhesion without excess glue spreading out.
The back of the drawer is laid in the cardboard packaging to protect the carpet from the adhesive. The base sheet fitted and the side wrapped around, the whole assembly turned over and indented into the front panel. Leaving the front flat on the floor will allow easier insertion, one set of dowels first, then the other side. This will then allow the back of the drawer to be gently tapped into position on the dowels to remove any gaps. Then the cupboard can be lifted and the front and rear faces hit at the same time with both palms to close any gaps around the dowels.

When fitting the drawer side slide runners, they are often just plastic runners and are simply gently hammered into place. This must be done carefully, while holding the outside face to prevent cracking or buckling the wood. If confident as to where all the pieces go, then this is best done before assembly, allowing the hammer to be used while the components are still laid flat, but make sure you do not insert them upside down.

Where hinges are used, some rather strange shapes in metal are employed. Although seemingly complex compared to traditional hinges, these strange items are surprisingly adaptable and easy to use. Their first advantage is they are two part, allowing the cupboard hinge component and the door component to be assembled separately. This in turn allows easy assembly of the door to the main unit, and also plenty of adjustment once it is in place.
Make sure the hinge components are neatly aligned in the circular holes and then use the screwdriver to make an initial alignment hole of the screw in the metal holes. Once the items are secure, each door can be offered up into position and retained by the top retaining screw, the bottom screw. Likewise the other door.

Before adjusting the doors, make sure the whole cupboard is secure on the floor and wedged into position at the front if it is a bit shaky. In some cases, it may be safer to fit a wall securing bracket, especially if fitted into children's rooms.

It will be easily noticed that the doors are not aligned.
First adjust the height positions, so the upper outside corners of the doors are even with the top of the cupboard; slacken and adjust as needed.
Then the end gaps from the outside edges of the unit can be brought evenly together so the central gap is reasonably small. The angular misalignment may need to also be adjusted and then the other adjustments done again until the doors fit well.

It will be noticed that no handles have been fitted yet, as this will allow all heavy screwing and fitting to be done without damaging or scratching the finer (or weaker) details. The handles can now be fitted if the unit is sufficiently finished. Alternative handles are often available in some hardware shops, so you can change the cheap plastic pieces with more robust metal ones always take a handle with you as an example. If needed, you may need to drill a new hole to take the new handle.
A final run around to check the security of all fixings will do no harm, especially the main securing lugs and brackets.

Adjusting the doors is little fussy. The picture shows the left hand hinges as if seen though an irregular hole cut in the face of the cupboard door.
Start with the up and down screws, (yellow). Slightly loosen all four screws on one door and it will slide down. Then lift the door up, so the bottom or top is flush with the outside of the unit and then tighten one of the yellow screws. You can then tighten the other yellow screws. Now match this height with any other door.

Now adjust the in/out gap between the door and the unit. Start at the top with the blue screw. Loosen this slightly and physically push the door close to the unit. Move the door open and shut to ensure nothing fouls. Then tighten the screw slightly and check, then tighten. Do the same for the (green) bottom screw and check the overall side gap of the door is reasonable and even.

Now the door is probably looking badly positioned when seen from the front. Start at the top and adjust the orange screw in small adjustments until the door is level with the side of the unit. Then adjust the bottom purple screw so the door ends up level and even with the side of the unit.
Now do the same adjustments for the other door if fitted.

With two doors, the central gap may be too big or small, and the tops and bottoms of the doors may not be level with each other. To get the central gap neat and level, adjust the orange and purple screws in small amounts of about half a turn until both sides gradually meet with a neat gap, and are also level, which takes some time.
You may now need to make a small adjustment to the height again by using the yellow screws, but this is rare.
With a little practice, the doors will soon be positioned neatly and evenly.

Sliding doors are often just a self adhesive runner strip top and bottom, with nylon running pegs in the upper and lower edges of the doors. Check the fit of any self adhesive item before exposing the adhesive strip, Then place in position with light touch and great care before pushing firmly into place.

Possible booby traps.
To some, the whole package is a booby trap. From trying to decipher the instructions, sorting out the many jigsaw puzzle pieces, to trying to get the hinges level, there can be a steep learning curves for those who have little or no manual skills. If lack of practical skills is a potential problem, start with a small unit, such as a bedside table, to get to know the skills required. Many items, from small to large use the same fixtures and fixings and assembly philosophy.

Warning: Over tightening the screws in the nasty wood substitute is a problem, so only tighten the screws until they secure the item, and then a small snug turn. If in doubt about heavy handedness, practice with one of the end packing pieces of spare wood to check your hand tightening is not too harsh or could cause the screw to strip out of the wood. If such a problem occurs, build the unit anyway, but place a piece of tape beside the offending screw, then replace with a larger or longer screw at the first opportunity. Alternatively, build the unit anyway, then once assembled, remove the screw, squirt a little wood glue in the hole, allow to dry and then refit.

Electric screwdriver and drill torque settings should be set to a light setting, about 30 percent of full tightening torque of an average 12 volt rechargeable drill. Any final tightening should be done by hand if needed. If no torque control is available, then gently tighten until the srew is almost in, or then motor just begins to slow, then tighten by hand only.

Damp Envionments.
If fitting these cheap furniture units into a damp environment, especially the sink units, then spray or paint some polyurethane varnish over exposed wood and chipboard, especially at the rear.
(My early and cheap chip-board sink unit is now 30 years old, yet not one sign of damage. Do it once, do it properly.)

Security.
If the unit is in a kids room, then always buy some security plates to screw the main sides of the unit to the wall so that it cannot fall over or damage or trap a child.

If the unit stands off the wall, probably due to a skirting board, then glue a small strip of cardboard strip between the top of the unit and the wall to prevent dust and small objects falling down behind.

To repeat, some units are flimsy and can be wobbly on carpet, so always wedge the front bottom edge, or secure to the wall with brackets, especially in children's rooms to prevent them falling over. Suitable plastic wedges are commonly available as tapered strips which can be easily trimmed to the right thickness.

The cost of using real timber and taking time to build your own fitted units can be about the same price, but the time will be well rewarded for those who want decent furniture which will last a lifetime.

If your furniture or lifestyle changes decadently each decade, then the self assembly flat pack furniture is an excellent way to utilise and recycle chipboard and second rate wood and materials.

If the unit turns out to be excellent in dimensions and form, then the original can be used as a pattern for a later unit to be built by a carpenter, preferably in seasoned wood and utilising more traditional carpentry skills. If the old furniture unit begins to fall apart, but has good wood, but having been used way past it's intended ten years or so, then it could be rebuilt using stronger fixtures and methods.

Welcome to the modern world.
Do we deserve it ?

Roofing slates.

Consider self erect scaffolding from the hire centres if desperate. Hire it for a week, because if you are replacing a slate to two, you will also be painting the guttering and supports - yes?

I too was in the 'lost slate' predicament. I had spent money foolishly on experts and put my trust in their abilities. Yes I was very foolish.
The roofers who last put some slates back in place were useless. They were so bad that they could have been freemasons. They weren't 'free' and they weren't much of 'masons' either, but they took plenty of our money - three times and still the leaks occurred.

In modern Britain, I took to doing it myself.

The first bodge involved getting into the roof, which involved ensuring I did not put my foot through the floor / ceiling. Eventually I traced the damp rafters inside the attic to the offending spot.
It was a broken slate.

We have Delabole slate roofing, they are heavy and expensive and have been on the house for 150 years, so I'm certainly not putting on the new lighter, crap modern slates.

Warning - Don't get conned. Some people will replace your roof in exchange for the Delabole slates. You are NOT a winner. These slates sell for five quid each. Ooch ! This is because such slates are ten times better than the modern crap. Once again we have - 'modern technology' - cheaper and nastier. Your Cornish Delabole or Welsh slates will cover a rich persons house. Be warned - it is best to keep the old slates and buy some more and have a reliable roof for you and your great grandchildren.

You will find many minor problems with real roofs.

I discovered the leak from a damp roof during a thunderstorm and had to rush up into the attic with a bucket and sponge. I then put down lots of plastic sheeting before more soaked in further. If lucky, you may only need to catch a few pints during the course of a windy thunderstorm, allowing you to prepare for the first really dry day.

The first solution is applicable for emergencies and many small cracked or partially damaged slates, where the leak may be small but annoying. This is a simple method which has worked well for years. -
Push a small piece of slate into the gap from inside to fill as much of the gap, then apply liberal amounts of car underseal. You should do this only to completely dry materials, including completely dry wooden rafters, otherwise it will just peel off. If you covered the slate shard with underseal before pushing it into place from inside the attic, then so much the better.
If you are desperate and there is no other choice, (the real world) then underseal onto wet roof components, but prepare to get up there when drier, to peel off any excess and allow to dry for a day before slapping on a good dollop to fill any holes and potential leaks. Give the underseal a good rubbing in, so it pushes up and out into all the possible gaps.

Slap it on, - a whole tin is far cheaper than a roofer.

Now put down new newspaper to check for any other minor leaks over the following months and years.

Replacing a Slate the Easy Way.

Over the years we have accumulated a few spare Delabole slates, and it was time to solve the broken slate problem properly.
The slates are usually very reliable, but they may fall out because the nail holding them in place has rusted or failed, or that the slate has cracked after a couple hundred years of thunderstorms and cracked along the nail hole.

Because most of the slate has slid out, it leaves a rectangular hole which can leak. This hole will take most of a whole slate to solve the problem in one fell swoop. If you are lucky, the offending slate is lying in the gutter, directly down from the original resting place.

Place a long ladder against the wall, then up to the gutter. If not an iron gutter, but a flimsy modern plastic gutter, tie a wooden block to the upper part of the ladder so the top is just above the guttering to give you a good view of the roof. Wedge the ladder feet it so it is level and ensure approximately 4 to one gradient.
If you can tie the top of the ladder to a drainpipe or inside a window, to a solid bed post, then do so.

With a friend to keep an eye on you, climb up and retrieve any slates from the gutter.
NOTE: Before coming down, make sure you mark the slates 'up side' so it will go back in nicely. I scratch an arrow on the upper surface pointing downwards.
Now guess the distance from the gutter to the furthest empty slot.
Come back down carefully.

To retain the slate, you will need a yard long strip of thin copper or lead strip or non rusting metal. I had some old alloy strip handy, so this was used. Copper is better, but do not use steel as this will rust. Stainless steel would be superb. A thin strip a yard long, about half an inch wide, ( a metre long / 10mm wide for those using politically correct measurements.) Any wider and the retaining strip will be hard to bend over the slate.

Now the killer tool. - I had a long pole of wood lying around, 1 inch thick, 1.5 inches wide, and six feet long. I simply cut a slot in the end, so the slate would fit in happily. The slot was at a slight angle so the slate would slide in the roof easier. See drawing. To stop the wood splitting, I added a nail, so the slate would no be tempted to slide too far into any split, causing problems. A broom handle or three, lashed together may also suffice.
Push the slate into the end of the pole just far enough to keep it in the pole.
I pushed the slate into position on the pole, covered the end of the slate liberally in underseal and climbed the ladder.

When feeling completely secure on the ladder, I eased the slate into position from whence it came, then wiggled the pole until the slate could be removed from the pole and left in place with the underseal. If the slate is too stiff in the pole, simply loosen the slate in the slot and try again. The underseal will keep the slate in position for a while. The pole can be wiggled free, then the pole turned sideways and used to align and push the slate fully home.

Now bend up the end of the metal strip so it will retain the bottom of the slate, using the same slot in the end of the pole, then use the pole to push the strip under the slate. Nudge the strip as straight as possible under the slate.
The metal strip will not go all the way in under the slate, as it will foul against a rafter hidden under the slate, and it must also pass to one side of the central nail which originally held the slate. This is sorted out when inside the attic.

An alternative to the bent strip of metal is to drill a small hole near the top of the slate and place a piece of strong fencing wire through it and bend it to remain in place. This can then the slid into the empty slot in the roof which can then be pulled into place from inside the attic, using the wire. A few yards or more of fenging wire exiting the roof hole from inside, can be caught when up the larrer and the slte tied to it for pulling from iside the attic.

When the slate is in place, the wire or metsl strip inside the attic can be bent around a rafter.

Making a small hole is easy in all slates, as just a small flat blade screwdriver is all that is needed, or a simple hand drill. Go slowly, so the slate doesn't crack.

Roofers have a long thin, strong nail-ripping tool, which allows the nail to be sheared flush, so a full size slate can be fitted. By using the original slate, or one which will fit up as far as the nail, you will have a reasonably good fitting slate witout having to use a ripping tool.

Now up to the attic and use the torch (flashlight) to see where the metal strip is. Gently coax the metal strip into the roof space, to carefully pull and tease the slate into position.
Once feeling secure and assessed by a general length, simply bend the metal back over a rafter to retain the slate.
You may then wish to give it a slap of underseal for luck.

I prefer using a spatula or small paint scraper for 'painting' the underseal into the gaps, as it is far more effective than using a paint brush.

Again, put down newspaper to check for leaks over the following months and years.

This system has the same effect of profession roofer repairs, with the following advantages:
You don't have to have to climb up over the edge of the roof onto the roof itself, or use scaffolding.
You get to stay on the safe side of the ladder.
You don't have to climb up the face of the roof on a special roofing ladder.
You get to do it yourself, save money and ensure the problem is done properly without having to call out a cowboy many times.
You get to add some underseal. you do it in tour own time, by simple tools and fairly easy effort, even if you don't like heights.
You get to save lots of money.
And if really desperate, it can be done at almost any time, day or night rain or shine, as it is a fairly short and simple process.

If you don't like roofers or cowboys, then :-
Get some spare slates and a couple of strips of copper for securing the slates in place.
If you are discarding a stainless steel sink unit, then try to cut it into strips for retaining slates.
Put a tin of car under seal in the roof, along with a paint brush and a few shards of spare slate for filling gaps in an emergency.
Always cover the roof space with newspaper to easily see there the leaks may occur.
Always double check the state of the roof from inside.

Before winter, always check the roof and gutter very carefully from the outside with a pair of binoculars, and always repair any faults before the bad weather begins.

If wishing to be safe, then also keep that large sheet of polythene which covered the new double bed mattress or refrigerator or get some pond lining plastic and lay it on the attic floor. Add a small bucket and a sponge. It problems arise, then you are ready.

Always check the roof for leaks at the start of winters' first thunderstorm and mid way through winter. Use binolulars from outside and a leak check during the first thunderstorm.

If you decide to repair more fully, wait until a decent weather forecast. Budget for some self assembly scaffolding, so it reaches above the guttering. If not available then make sure the ladder can reach well above the guttering, so you will have plenty of ladder upon which to return back down, as crawling from the roof to the ladder is dangerous.
Secure the scaffolding to the wall or with a rope though a window to a bed leg.

To crawl up the roof, get a long alloy ladder which will apply your weight across many slates, so they won't break. Then add a large bracket at the top of the roofing ladder to be secured over the apex of the roof. If no ladder, then you can make a long wooden plank with cross pieces nailed to prevent you slipping. To make such an apex bracket, simply guess the angle of the roof, and then weld up a steel bracket to fit the ladder and which will curve over the roof apex and remain in place by a wide wooden pressure plate which is loosely fitted so it wall lie flush onto many of the opposite slates. To make life easier, a small wheel or roller is often added on the back of the ladder, so it can be rolled up the slates, then turned over once it is in place. Such ladders can be hired from the same place as the scaffolding.
Also hire or make a safety harness and tie a safety line between the chimney bases.
If its imperative that the roof ladder is secured from the other side of the roof, and not by the scaffolding, as it will slip and the whole will fail totally, leaving you stranded on the roof. If you have plenty of climbing rope you can then abseil.

If a two piece sliding ladder is not long enough to lie across the slates as one piece, then very carefully secure it such that the longest length will lie along the slates and make sure it cannot slide off, by tightly tying the two sliding halves together.
This can then be used to crawl up the roof to repair it. When up on the roof, secure a safety rope around the chimney, and around your waist so you cannot fall further than ABOVE the gutter. (I have fallen 400 ft in an avalanche and I am still overly careful about heights on roofs.)

When up on the roof, use a long roofers tool - a long, thin, heavy strip of metal with simple cutting hooks on either side of the end, so it can be slid into the place of the old slate and used to pull against the old nail, to crop the old nail flush with the rafter, allowing a new, full length slate to be fitted.

Apply a belt and braces approach and fit a strip of bent metal under any other suspect slates while you are up there.

If fitting any aerials, then the feed cable must always lie such that it enters the slate areas from below, so the rain cannot run down the cable into the house.
Do not be tempted to simply seal around the cable if in enters vertically, as sealant will degrade over decades.
Always fully seal aerial connections, by coating the wire connections with a heavy coat of silicone sealnt, wax or old pots of nail varnish over the contacts and where the cable enters the aerial box. Likewise also paint the threads of the steel mounting brackets.

It is worth taking up a small portable battery TV to test the reception quality for the best aerial alignment. It is a pain to adjust then go back down to check, so simply fit a teminal on the end of the long cable and test while still up there and this wil also save having the danger of going up and down ladders.
The cable must always be a single length, right down to the main connection.
Wherever possible, always enter the cable into the house under the guttering, so it does not compromise the waterproof integrity of the slating.
Use double the ammount of cable restraints, so you don't have to go up there again.

Also check the state of the cement around the chimney and also the guttering, so you can safely repair as needed.

Our Delabole slates have lasted at least a century since they were first laid, and seen many roofing changes of our neighbours who have succumbed to cheaper, modern slates.
By repairing a just five loose slates with the simple bent metal strip, this roof looks set to last quite a few more decades.

If you decide to re-slate your own roof, to save a few thousand pounds, then always read up on the skills and techniques needed. It is not difficult if you are fit, but it is a skill, and therefore demands that you have studied your subject well and have inspected the roof prior to starting. It is always preferable to freely or cheaply help out with others who are roofing, to serve a weeks apprenticeship. - This may take a week out of your time, but you will be saving many thousands of pounds, and also intent on doing a much better job than the professionals.
Wait until a decent weather forecast, as a full roofing should take one person about a week, if all goes well and you have good scaffolding and work 12 hrs a day. Two days to remove and repair the surrounding house fabric - walls, rafters and guttering, although much of this can be prepared beforehand. One day for the flashing and waterproof membrane. Three days for slating. One day to finish off. Remember that this demands reasonable fitness on a sustained level, as ladders are being climbed regularly and safety must be ensured at all times.
Because of the nature of slating, repair cannot be easily done afterwards, (unlike most household repairs), so always set the highest standards from the outset.
Check you can get your types of slates. Welsh and Cornish Delabole slate is world renown, but expensive, although second hand slates are commonly available, as they hold a high re sale value, as the lesser roofing materials now abound. Budget for at least five percent breakage when removing the slates. Carefully check on the latest materials used to seal the edges between houses and the plastic waterproof membrane which fits under modern roofs. Do not skimp on cheap nails, only use specislsit roofing nails, preferabely stainless or copper. Check all slates for cracks and any suspect ones should be positioned near the bottom of the roof for easy emergency replacement using just a ladder.
The apex pieces will need replacing using cement.
Always get plenty of spare slates before roofing. Always use non corrosive nails, such as zinc plated, copper or stainless steel, as ordinary steel nails will fail in forty years or so. Zinc plating can scratch while fitting and expose the bare steel which can then rust. If using steel nails, then always cover in tar before fitting. Preferably use the dual nail method, so each slate is held by two nails.
Nails are NOT hammered in hard, but just enough to retain the slate from sliding. A third, wide head nail or rivet can be added to prevent modern slates from lifting, which is placed in the gap between two adjacent slates, but is overlapped by the slate above. Always make sure you can cover the roof before wet weather arrives, or be prepared to cover it all in a large tarpaulin, which is genuinely secured against the worst storms. Prepare the rafters first, then the membranes.
The old slates are stacked in the attic and the rafters cleaned up and repaired, and crsosoted or other preparation. Then the waterproof membrane and edges done so that if it should rain, the house will not get wet.
Slating always starts with the flashing at the edges, then waterproof membrane, finally the slates at the bottom and works up to the apex. Always repoint with new lead flashing around the edges and around the chimneys.

Lead working is an art.
Lead flashing can be bought, or old lead used by boiling down the old lead in a steel container, then using a spreader tray. The tray is a long, smooth plank with battens either side about 10 mm tall, and the lead poured into it, then a shouldered, stepped strip of wood used to run across the battens to spread the lead into a 2 or 3 mm smooth sheet of lead. See also organ pipe manufacture. Lead flashing can be joined by soldering or more easily by bending crimps and flanges which will not allow water to accumulate.

Easy Door Bell for the Partially Deaf.

The answer is simple, - to use a cheap personal alarm siren. They are available often for a pound, and operate by pulling out a toggle or using a switch to set off a siren.
The siren has the advantage of going up and down the frequency range very quickly, to that any deficiency in frequency perception is soon solved.
Better still, as they are often cheap, then a half dozen about the house improves the plot.
Such devices are a bit alarming, but not overly so, and have a short range, so are ideally suited for a household.
The internal modification is done by wiring the internals to bypass the original operating switch and fitting these across the ringer or bell of a domestic, battery operated door bell.
If the original door bell has a different voltage which will not work the siren, then simply remove the door bell batteries, and fit the required battery for the siren, and the door bell will then act as a siren.
On most presses of a door bell, the siren will cycle through two sets of its frequencies, so that it becomes rather effective.

Motorcycle maintenance is on this website - 'A Beginners Guide to Motorcycle Mechanics', Basic and Intermediate.
Motorcycle design and manufacture, testing and beyond is in 'A Beginners Guide to Motorcycle Design'.
Trike design and manufacture, testing and beyond is in 'A Beginners Guide to Trike Design'.
Cycle design and manufacture, testing and beyond is in 'A Beginners Guide to HPV Design'.
Wiring and electrics - car and van design, aerodynamics and wind tunnels etc., lookee same place.

Modern cars are phenomenally reliable, especially when serviced by a competent mechanic.
Unfortunately in a Britain, where even the most sluggard minds expect a university degree, the British mechanic is almost a dying breed. I have seen standards plummet, and even with top training schemes, which leave much to be desired, then trainees are often disinterested. Nevertheless about 10 percent are decent mechanics and finding one is highly recommended in modern Britain. How you find them is not so easy, but person attitude is not the best method, as I as a mechanic, was often pissed off from a crap job with crap pay. -
See if they have brains and a good nature.
Good brains to be able to learn and make the correct repair, and good nature so as not to charge extortionate amounts. Then treat them with politeness and respect. - this way I used to do a better job for some of the better customers. Robots we ain't !

Buy and maintain a second hand car on a budget.
Modern cars are often considered disposable. This is a great waste of engineering and shows the limited and decreasing levels of skills expected of the population and garage mechanics in these modern times.
Understand that most mechanics now replace rather than repair. If the water pump fails, it is no longer rebuilt, it is replaced. Same for almost everything. With scrap yards full, even a damaged door is far more easily replaced. Replacement does not need so much skill, so almost anyone can do it.

First start by choosing a moderately uncomplex car. It is possible to buy a primitive car, but these are rare. The Morris Minor and similar vehicles are still available in reconditioned form from specialist re-manufacturers. For all others, aim for a well known make and model, preferably without electric windows, central locking or other fancy stuff which will cost a fortune when it goes wrong.
Choose a car which has minimal rust in the body shell.
For economy a modern 1)00cc is best, as they are no longer underpowered especially for town use. (E.G. Nissan Micra.)
For longer journeys, a 1300 is a good compromise. A 1600 is usually more than needed, unless driving with a full passenger complement. If in no rush then 600cc to 1000cc can take you all around the world.
I've toured eight European countries in a 350cc TN7 micro van, (modified motorcycle engine) and the petrol costs were minimal, while parking anywhere was an absolute doddle.
Anything larger is just a waste of fuel and insuruance costs and only suitable for 'merchant bankers'. (Rhyming slang.)

Buying.

Then start looking for cars.

Before knocking on the owners door, look at the car first. Stand at the front and rear, looking along the sides for straight or gently curving lines. Bumpiness can highlight filler or earlier damage.
Overspray of paint around the headlights, windscreen or other fittings will tell of a recent respray which may cover rust or damage problems.
Look at the tyre treads for uneven wear. If they are scrubbed, then the chassis or suspension may be bent. Steer clear of tyres with scrubbed ribs or uneven wear.
Check the condition of the seats. If they are badly worn, then the rest of the vehicle will probably also be well-worn. If plenty of dog hairs, then wear may simply be from pets, so the car will smell and you can haggle the price down, then buy a set of decent seats from the scrap yard.
If you can see the mileage, take 10,000 miles a year as an average, then decide if it has excessive mileage. If the numbers are not lining up neatly, the speedo may have been given a 'haircut'.

Look at the brake pedal, if the rubber pedal is badly worn, then the car may well have been thrashed, as a sensible driver does not use the brake very much nor very heavily. Sherlock would be proud of you.

If the car is in a garage, then it will probably be far less prone to rust. A fine layer of dust shows it is not used very often and probably in (A) superb condition, or (B) has been stored because of a problem.

If the bodywork is good, then most other problems or components can be easily repaired or replaced. You can easily replace a worn engine, but you cannot easily replace a rusty body shell.

If the car passes the above cursory checks, then ask the owner for a look around.
To check for rust, look under the battery and under the rear boot floor cover. Open the bonnet (hood) and have a quick look, and open the boot (trunk) and lift a corner of the floor mat.
Where possible, also look under the front seat carpet, or at least look for stains on the floor indicating unwanted water ingress.

It may be seen on occasion that some cars are ready to fail, or have already done so. This is simply by owner ignorance, skimping on costs, poor maintenance or harsh driving. Reading the personality of the driver can help, as can the house and may merely indicate a poor standard of personal values. This may be confirmed in a test drive, noting how the driver treats the car.

Under the bonnet (hood).
Then open the bonnet (hood) and look for oil leaks. All cars leak oil, but minimal oil should be seen. Check the chassis number matches the log book or remember the last three numbers for later.
Casually remove the oil filler cap and look for white emulsified oil, which indicates mostly short journeys and potential, but not necessarily high wear. If not white, then look for extremely black, sooty oil, which is indicative of poor maintenance or badly worn engine. - Do not buy if the engine has very black oil, it should just be very dark brown. If white, emulsified oil, carefully listen to the engine.
If the engine oil is too white or too black, then say 'sorry mate, I think the engine is on the way out'.

If neither white or black oil are present, than the engine can be run. Listen for unusual noises. If not knowing what noises are, simply listen to a few other engines first, from friends who have reliable cars.

While the bonnet is up, look for excess rust under the battery, and generally inside the engine compartment such as around the radiator mountings.
The brake oil reservoir is usually a clear plastic moulding, so check the brake oil is not too dark. If black, then budget for possibility of a few new brake components.
Test drive.
Start the engine and look to see that the oil pressure light goes out quickly. Then open the throttle quickly and look for dark, incriminating smoke from the exhaust. Black smoke, then the carburetion is duff. Blue smoke means the engine probably needs repair. - 'Sorry guv', that engine is on its last legs'.
Drive in a straight line with hands lightly on the steering wheel. Find a quiet, straight road and test the brakes. The car should brake in a straight line with hands off the steering wheel. If it does not, then the brakes are suspect. This can usually be easily repaired. If the tyres are unevenly worn, you should not have gone this far and be looking for another vehicle. Drive up a hill in a high gear, to see if the clutch slips.
Ensure the heater and all lights work.
The bodyshell and engine are then main problem areas. Brakes can usually be replaced for low cost, along with the exhaust, seats and lights. If the engine is fine but the seats are in need of replacement, then simply buy a new set of seats from the local scrap yard for a tenner each. Usually the better seats from the deluxe version of the car.

If keen to buy, tell them you will get the money from the bank and return. If in any doubt about buying the car, buy the workshop manual and check all maintenance and repair is fairly straightforward. Check out for any carburettors which are far less expensive to repair than fuel injection systems. Expensive electrical systems such as electric windows and central door locking can also cause problems.
Only if the car is an absolute bargain should you consider buying it then and there.

Look for the chassis number on a plate under the bonnet or inside the sill area. - Remember the three last engine and chassis numbers so you can compare with the paperwork.
Never buy from someone who is not at home.
If the owner wants to drive it to you, - do NOT get involved, it may be stolen !
Buy it from the same address as on the log book.
Check the chassis number with the log book.

Once the car is bought, give it a long run, to check all is well.

Then give it an oil change, adjust the valve clearances and check the ignition timing. Where a cam belt is fitted, either inspect or replace. Cam belts should last 30,000 miles, are cheap but often difficult to replace. Unless sure, always suspect a cam belt. If possible, open up the belt cover and inspect the condition of the inner edges of the belt, and preferably get a professional to inspect it. You can often leave the cam belt cover off for a day or so, if you have to drive it for a friend to inspect.
If intending to keep the car for five years or more, then on a hot day, raise the car on ramps and fully scrape off any loose paint. Repaint then underseal all accessible areas underneath. Then remove internal carpets and check for wet patches and repair as needed on a very warm day when the areas are completely dry. Then find out where the water is getting in.
Once the vehicle is reasonably reliable, use some petrol additive to clean out the fuel system.
Replace the oil, oil filer and also the air filter if dirty. If diesel or fuel injection, also replace the fuel filter.

Some second hand cars are driven for many months or years, without knowing it could be better until the first full service. If possible, get someone with a similar vehicle to offer a comparison. It may be possible to hire or test drive a similar vehicle, if possible, do so before deciding to buy an expensive car.

Do not be put off by garages saying parts are not available.
Example. The brakes failed. The mechanic said he could not find a replacement part. He had not considered or found the problem, merely assumed replacement would cure the problem. (Twenty week GNVQ 'experts' again. They do not diagnose, but simply replace parts at your expense until the problem goes away.) I found the problem - they had not topped up the brake fluid for six years of regular 'support'. The system was cleaned, inspected, found to be perfect and was replaced and flushed. It works as good a new, for three pounds of brake fluid and two hours work.
Later, the carburettor diaphragm split and the local Vauxhall dealer said the parts were no longer available. This is the same carburettor as used on some Saabs and others, who had the part is stock.

Even when parts are not available, scrap yards can keep most vehicles running for decades. Sometimes the engine is not economically worth repairing, as a simple engine swap is often much cheaper than a rebuild. When this happens, the old engine can be stripped and checked to see whether it is scrap, suitable for practising on, or if it is a reasonable set of spares, or perhaps worth rebuilding at your leisure.

Scrap yards also offer headlights, tail lights, brakes, alloy wheels, doors and a whole lot of other stuff, including better seats.
Need a new set of tyres? try the scrap yards first, they will be cheaper and probably include a set of alloy wheels for no extra cost.

Routine maintenance.

Begin sensible maintenance before getting your hands dirty. To ensure the clutch lasts longer, do not ride on the clutch at traffic lights, but learn to wait with the clutch out and the gearbox in neutral. It is not difficult, any fool can do it.

Neither thrash the machine, so the power will be there when you really need it.

Do not rev the engine first thing in the morning, but give it time to get the oil circulating before destroying all the bearing surfaces. A decent engine should start on the choke and then idle happily.
Don't be like the moronic kid given a new car for his birthday, who revved the engine each morning to warm it up, and then wondered why he had managed to destroy the engine within three months. (The mechanics were surprised it lasted that long. - His mum used to wipe the windscreen with her diamond ringed fingers and wondered why she needed a new windscreen every year. Both were very rich and daft as a brush.)

With a reasonable engine, the oil should be changed regularly, usually every six months or whatever the manual recommends. Check the oil level every weeks for a couple of months, just to keep an eye on the investment.
Oil changes are not difficult, so warm the engine up with a short run, then drain the oil into a pan, while removing the oil filter. As the engine is warm, the old oil will flow easier, flushing out any excess debris before it has settled. It also makes handling the components on a cold day much warmer.
The oil filter is disposable and can be unscrewed without too much worry of damage. If a replacement is ready, a screwdriver can be pushed into the old filter to help it turn. Fill the new filter up with new oil and apply a little film of oil on the rubber seal. Tighten the filter as hard as you can by hand only. No tighter. Replace the oil filter drain bolt and tighten it snugly and firmly. Fill with new oil via the large rocker cover plug or cap, while checking with the dip stick. Do not overfill, so go slowly, as oil drains down slowly, even in warm engines.

Check the radiator system and coolant level. If the coolant is dirty, then it may be possible to use the garden hose to hose out the whole engine and radiator system.
Disconnect the bottom radiator pipe and remove the thermostat housing. Then flush through until the engine and radiator run clean. Refit pipes and replace thermostat housing seal with a little sealant, then fill with water and antifreeze. Antifreeze is important, otherwise your whole engine may not survive the first frosty night.

Ignition timing.
On electronic ignition systems, maintenance is rarely done. Most cars after 1990 have electronic ignition. Either it works or it does not.
Older cars use points. Points can go wrong and wear, but also delightfully easy and cheap to replace and repair. For points, first remove the rotor cover, springing the two side clips or screws to access the internals. The points look like a little metal arm which rubs against the central cam. The points which are the small electrical contact points, should not be too worn. Minor pitting or discoloration is acceptable. If there are pits, then clean the surfaces with a small strip of 'wet and dry' abrasive paper. Slide a piece of card between the points to remove any particles. Rotate the crankshaft until the points are fully open, then adjust to the recommended gap, usually 15 thou, about the same thickness as a single thickness of fag packet cardboard. Easy peasy.
Loosely refit the cover, to see which is the lead to spark plug No.1, which is usually the cylinder at the front, or the right side of the vehicle when sitting in it. Rotate the crankshaft slowly until the rotor arm points towards the plug lead for No.1 cylinder. Then check the fan belt pulley timing marks for static timing and line them up. there will be various marks on the engine block, so check with manual for the correct one. If in doubt, choose the middle mark if in an emergency situation, such as on the side of a road. Place a lamp between the points lead and the battery positive, then adjust the body of the distributor until the light just goes out. This will be very close, but if not, then carefully follow the guidance of the vehicles manual. Replace cover and wiring as found. Check by running the engine.
I have found that it is quite acceptable to line up the marks by pulling hard on the fan belt, then rotate the distributor body until the points just open and shut as seen by eye. This is surprisingly close, especially if you rotate it back and forth many times until you can just discern the closing point.
Strobe. For checking the advance curve and the sparks while the engine is running, a 'strobe' is needed. This is a powerful lamp which flashes when the spark occurs, causing the rotating parts of a running engine to look as if standing still. If too expensive, a 'timing light' is much cheaper but with equivalent lower performance, needing to be used in darker light levels. If preferring to try a simple alternative, a cheap or surplus neon mains warning bulb will do, and can be wired using HT leads directly in the spark plug HT circuit using parts from a broken plug cap. This can be brought close to the timing marks for easier vision. A neon bulb is the small warning light on 240volt kettles and mains sockets which glows red - not exactly brilliant, but very cheap and can do the job for pennies if insulated well. I solder mine to two lengths of HT cable and lots of insulating tape, with the neon in a clear plastic section of tubing.
Follow the vehicles manual for strobing the engine. You will probably have to disconnect the vacuum pipe to the advance unit on the distributor body.

Not all cars have adjustable valve clearances, some are hydraulically self adjusting, others need specialist tools. Some Japanese engines now need two days in the workshop to adjust the valve clearances. So don't buy any car that is overly complex.
On most cars with sensible designs with adjustable valve rockers, or 'tappets'. On four cylinder engines, place the car on a level road and in second gear with the brakes off. Remove the rocker cover. Push or pull the car back and forth until the two valves on the rear cylinder are tight, then adjust the front cylinder valves to the manufacturers settings, which are often on a plate or sticker in the engine bay. When set, move the car so the front two valves are tight, then adjust the rear. Then do the same sequence for the inner cylinders, numbers two and three. Replace components and run the engine to check.

Cam belt.
This is usually considered unreliable after 30,000 miles. They are not expensive, but often hard to reach on larger engines. Follow the instruction in the manual, as all cars differ. Simple cars have simple replacement, but others are quite often specialist work, due to special tools. It does not take much effort to take the upper plastic cover off to have a look-see before you decide to be brave.

Carburettor.
Carburettors are becoming increasingly rare as fuel injection is now the common method to meter fuel into the engine.
The carb rarely goes wrong, unless water or contaminants get in the fuel system. A little petrol additive helps keep it all clean and a little oil on the external moving parts does no harm. If suspect, use an in-line fuel filter with a paper element, then angle it so it also acts as a sediment and water trap.
I prefer a clear plastic fuel filter with a paper element. This shows up the dirt which collects on the outside of the paper to give a long term assessment of your system. Such filters cost pennies.

Replace the air filter when it gets very dirty, as they are cheap. A clean air filter reduces fuel consumption.

Spark plugs.
These can be replaced every 12,000 miles or 24,00 if preferred, as modern plugs are surprisingly reliable. Always brush around the plugs to remove dirt before removal, as dirt can damage the threads. The plugs can be gapped, usually to 25 thou, or 30 thou for some electronic systems. If the outer bodies are badly rusted, or the electrodes are rounded, then they are probably due for replacement. Also check the plug caps for corrosion.

Gearbox.
Usually sealed for life, but a quick check of oil level when first bought does no harm. Older car gearboxes should have the oil level checked each year.

Wheels and stuff. Check the tyre pressures and the condition of the spare tyre.
Brake components are surprisingly cheap and can be done by most people if the correct tools and a little thought are used. Always be wary of any brake dust, as it may contain asbestos. To untighten and later retighten a wheel nut, simply stand on the wheel nut spanner. The average weight of an adult is about right for a one foot long wheel nut spanner as supplied with most cars.
Just loosen the wheel nuts on one wheel while the handbrake is on and the wheel is on the ground. Then jack up the car and remove the wheel. Inspect the disc and pads. If a drum brake, remove the small retaining screw and pull the drum off. If the drum is stiff, then gently tap it all around with a rubber hammer and tease it off with a little care. Check brake shoes for wear. Check springs are intact, and not too badly rusted.

Place a little drop of oil on all bleed nipples, so they do not rust up and break off. Smear some grease into the ends of the nipples so they don't collect water.
If in doubt, most brakes can be serviced by the fast service car centres. Likewise exhausts.

Wiring and electrics. See the authors monograph 'A builders guide to motorcycle and trike wiring' available via my website, also applicable to most cars.

Rust.
Get on top of any rust problems from the outset, and the car will last far longer. Lift up all the carpets and have a good look around ALL the car for rust, then attack without mercy. There is a wide range of anti rust paints available. Where holes appear, a little filler often suffices. You should NOT be buying any car with rusty holes, as this is a waste of time in the long run.

Drive carefully. (Also a form of preventative maintenance.)

Replacing a wheel.

If you are stuck far from anywhere and have a partially flat tyre or even a duff spare tyre, or no jack, then you will need to position the load such that there is almost no load on the offending wheel. This would usually be one of the rear wheels, as most engines are at the front. So you must place as much of the load and passengers as far as possible from the underinflated tyre. If the driver is on the right, then fit your worst tyre to the right rear of the car. This will not give good driving, but will at least allow you to get to the nearest garage.

Replacing a windscreen.

Decide which type of mounting it has. Either the modern glued in, or the older rubber seal. The older rubber seal is very easy. The modern glued form uses the windscreen as part of the structural design, allegedly to help improve stiffness of the chassis, (that and it's easier to fit in the factory.)

The rubber seal type is easy. (Blanket and string).

If a rubber seal type, go to the nearest scrap yard and buy a cheap replacement.
I used a scrap yard who sold me a nice genuine windscreen for 10 quid. A new copy was 25 pounds and the genuine one was 80 pounds.

If the damaged windscreen is intact, then tape it up using a criss cross of masking tape. Then place a blanket or cloth or newspaper under the inside of the windscreen to prevent glass entering the air vents. An old blanket is best.
If any chrome strip, then remove this and place carefully on the roof to prevent it creasing.
Sit inside the car, either side of the gear stick, lean back and place a foot at the top corners of the windscreen, then carefully push.
If you are solo and in a steep fronted vehicle, then use lots of tape to prevent the windscreen falling to the ground.
If you want to keep the windscreen, then apply some grease or margarine or whatever around the inside of the rubber lips to help it out.
Pushing gently with the feet, the windscreen should pop out, slowly at the corners, then more easily for the rest. Remember that you are easing the rubber seal, so allow time for it to creep its merry way in the direction of the push.
Lots of small glass shards may fall into the newspaper and this needs cleaning up. If lots of little bits, then use sticky tape to mop up any loose bits. With the windscreen out, it is easier to get the vacuum cleaner in and around the nooks and crannies. Now remove the rubber seal and clean it up carefully.
Repair any rust spots around the windscreen area and such like.

Replacement.
Check the windscreen is the correct one, simply by seeing if it fits the aperture.
You will need a special tool. To make this, get a piece of ordinary string about eight feet long and tie a knot in each end. - Well done.
Place the rubber seal around the edge of the new windscreen, then place the string inside the other, inner slot of the rubber seal. The string should overlap itself at the bottom.
With one person holding and gently pushing the windscreen in position, or if solo, you keep both windows open and stand outside, to push against the outside of the windscreen with one hand while teasing the string out with the other. If two people, or a kid in the street to gently push, the other person gets inside and very slowly pulls the string to deform the inner lip of the rubber seal around and over the cars' metal frame.
Take your time and while lightly pushing the windscreen into the aperture from the outside, pull the string slowly and evenly from both sides, so the windscreen rubber sits in evenly. Eventually the string unravels the lip around the car frame and into position. It really is that simple.
I managed to do this many times by myself, by standing by the open door and pushing the windscreen from the outside while pulling the string with my other hand, and working evenly from each side. I used some tape to keep the windscreen in place while moving from side to side. Once the base and bottom sides were in place, then I climbed inside and eased the upper parts of the rubber seal in place with the continual, slow pull of the string.

Now fit a new rear view mirror using the special sticky pad, available from all car shops for about 50 pence. Clean the windscreen scrupulously before sticking the mirror bracket in place.
If a chrome strip in the rubber seal, then it will need to be replaced, which can be awkward rather than difficult. To help it back into the slot, it is possible to make an old wire coat hangar into a small spatula shape to help spread the rubber seal and allow the chrome strip to be replaced. Simply taking some time to tease it in using an old blunt screwdriver will often suffice.
The proceeding may have upset the windscreen washer nozzles. Check and if positioned badly, then they can be repositioned using a hat pin in the nozzle hole.

A typical car windscreen is about 15 quid second hand from a scrap yard, 25 quid new pattern, or 35 quid genuine part. Daft or posh car windscreens cost a lot more.

If you have some green or other tinted varnish, then you can graduate pray the inside of the windscreen before inserting, it into the rubber seal, for a very neat tinted, graduated sun shade. If you don't have a semi transparent paint, then lightly spraying with solid paint can be done to give a gentle and graduated tint. If you get it wrong first time, simply wipe it with paint cleaner and then give a very thorough cleaning before trying again.

Glued in type of windscreen.

This will need a special tool. A cheese cutter wire is ideal, plus a nice, flexible, thin knife blade. Cut around the windscreen and chassis, to get the cheese wire in place and use this to cut around the windscreen to remove it.
Any cheese wire will do, - just a strand from an old push bike cable wrapped around two pieces of wood dowel will do to cut through the window sealant.
Clean up the old sealant, according to the new adhesive instructions. Cleanliness and preparation is everything. When all is prepared and adhesive applied, carefully fit the windscreen, preferably using two people. It may be easier to use kitchen suckers to help lift the windscreen into position just above the adhesive before positioning.
If doing this solo, then keep both front windows open, so you can juggle it from both sides. There may be a couple of hours or a days curing time.
Now fit a new rear view mirror using the special sticky pad, available from all car shops for about 50 pence. Clean the windscreen scrupulously before sticking the mirror bracket in place.
The proceeding may have upset the windscreen washer nozzles. Check and if positioned badly, then they can be repositioned using a hat pin in the nozzle hole.

I've glued in windscreens using the ordinary silicone sealant as used in bathrooms and for fish tanks. It was extremely difficult to remove the windscreen afterwards, - just as hard as the real thing. The tube of clear silicone sealant only cost a quid or two. But a black coloured silicone sealant would have made the seal far more cosmetically appealing.
If the surround of the new windscreen is printed with a black border, then you can usually get away with ordinary silicone sealant. Make sure it is silicone and not the cheaper, weaker bathroom sealer , non silicone stuff.

Cars go wrong and sometimes stop.  

Assuming you have a reasonable petrol powered car and it stops. The first thing is to think about the situation, have you filled up with fuel, have the handbrake on, or are you trying to pull away up hill in third gear, perhaps your recently divorced partner has put sugar in the fuel tank, - yes, people do stupid things.

If the starter does not work, then carefully hit the starter motor to free up the shaft, and try shorting out the wire from the starter switch, to make it turn, but first check the car is not in gear !
Most cheap batteries are good for about for about three or four years, so this may be worth replacement if it fails to start in the mornings.
Assuming you have treated the car well, then try starting it again three more times. No more than four seconds each burst. More than this and you will have to look for the obvious before you run the battery flat and have no chance to start the car.

(Some BM 's Mercs and Micras with fuel injection do not like being started for a few seconds, to move them a few feet, then shut off. Next time you go to start them, they won't start, as they are flooded. So always make sure you run any fuel injected BM's, Mercs and micras etc are run for a minute or so after, just to warm the engine through a little to prevent this problem. There is nothing wrong with the engine, its just flooded with petrol, and difficult to start. Try using the starter for a long time and very carefully play the accelerator pedal just a little until it stumbles into life.)

An engine needs three things to run.

For the usual problems of spark and fuel, you may be able to survive for another day with a spark plug spanner, a rag, a pair of pliers, some spare wire, gaffer tape, a small adjustable spanner and a double ended general purpose screwdriver. Total cost about a fiver. You may wish to add a torch (flashlight) if you do a lot of miles at night.

Sudden stops.
When a car suddenly stops for no apparent reason, it may well be a simple electrical problem. Look under the bonnet (hood) and make an initial visual and a hand check of the bits. Important places to check are the distributor and the fuel system. Look for anyting loose or broken.

Most electrical faults are purely mechanical, such as a broken wire.

If nothing looks amiss, remove a spark plug to check the spark and fuel. Place the spark plug, or a spare spark plug in the plug cap (on the end of the thick HT wire) on a metal part of the engine while you look at the tip of the spark plug for a blue spark, as a friend uses the starter switch.
If there is a small blue spark in the tip of the spark plug, then the problem may be fuel related.

Fuel can be checked by removing the spark plug and sniffing and to see if it is wet. If it smells like petrol, then fuel is probably not the problem.

Spark OK. No Fuel.
If the spark plug is wet, then the problem may be too much choke, as the engine is flooded with petrol. So start the engine with no choke and half throttle to try to clear out any excess petrol. Do this as small bursts, so that you don't flatten the battery.

If the spark plug is dry and makes a good spark, then a further check of the fuel system is needed:
The fuel is simply drawn from the fuel tank through a pipe and then up to the fuel pump, which is mounted on the engine or a uses separate electrical pump. This then pumps the fuel to the fuel injectors or to the carburettor.
Remove the fuel pipe to the carburettor, turn the engine over for just a second or two on the starter to check if fuel is coming out of the pipe. If not, then probably the fuel filter is clogged, or the fuel pump is broken or the fuel line damaged or no fuel.
To quickly clean out a fuel filter, hit the fuel filter a few times, hoping this may dislodge enough dirt to allow some fuel through. If not, try to push a piece of wire through the filter or try to bypass the fuel filter as a temporary measure. It is for this reason that transparent fuel filters are cheap and easy to check - and replace !
If available, use a cycle pump to blow back down the fuel line from the pump to the fuel tank , to ensure the fuel line is not blocked. If brave, then blow back down through the fuel line to hear the bubbles emerging at the fuel tank. This is a common solution of using special fuel additives which can coagulate older fuel systems.

If an electric fuel pump does not make any noise, check the fuse and the wiring. An electric fuel pump makes an occasional clicking sound as it pumps. So have a listen - it will click wildly if the fuel line to the carb is disconnected.
If an electric fuel pump does not pump petrol from the exit pipe, then remove the fuel pump end cap and see if the points have welded. In emergency, remove the fuel pump and gently prize the points apart if they are not totally trashed. Refit the fuel pipe first so fuel does not pump everywhere, and then switch on the ignition to check if the pump works properly.
If the fuel pump points have fused and you are totally desperate, then connect two wires across the opened points and touch the wires to open and shut the points to pump the fuel every five seconds or so. Initially you will have to flick the wires together many times to pump up fuel to the engine. If it works, bring the wires into the passenger compartment and continue while driving home or until you can make a proper repair.

If a mechanical fuel pump, as fitted directly to the engine, then repair by replacement is unlikely, unless you have a valve blockage in the type which can be disassembled. If it can be opened up, then have a look for anything which may be repaired. Otherwise, replace with a second hand electrical fuel pump.
A scrapyard can supply an electrical fuel pump which will work as a replacement for a mechanical or electrical fuel pump. Simply place in the fuel line, bypassing the mechanical fuel pump on the engine. Can be tied in place with string until you get home.

If desperate, such as in the middle of a desert, then you can supply fuel to a carburettor by fitting a plastic screen washer pipe to the carb and sticking it in a can of fuel held high above the carburettor, possibly lashed to the windscreen wipers or through a side window. You will have to syphon the pipe to get the fuel flowing first. If this works, then you can go many miles, but do not push your luck and always be careful of fire problems.

Fuel OK. No Spark.
Electrical problems are usually mechanical problems.
Perhaps a wire has fallen off, corroded, or burn itself on the exhaust.
Start looking for obvious faults. Wiggle all the wires to see if they feel reasonable. Give them a little tug, as they may be loose in their connectors or corroded and may probably show up the simple problem. Dry all wet wires.
Many electrical problems are actually mechanical problems acting on electrics. - A broken wire, a damaged insulator, or such like.
NEVER remove all four spark plug leads at the same time. Only remove one at a time, then replace the before removing another, otherwise you may get them out of sequence.
Check and clean a couple of spark plugs. Check they all have gaps the size of post card thickness.
Look for corrosion.
If fitted, take off the distributor cap. It is the plastic cover which takes the five big thick wires to the spark plugs. It is often held by clips or small screws. Clean out the inside and then check the points. Points are rare, but they are a little lever which opens and shuts as the engine turns. you can turn the engine using the fan to see if the points open. If they do not open and shut as the engine turns, then turn the engine until the cam would open them and then adjust until the gap is the thickness of a postcard. Replace as found and try again.

Fuel OK. Spark OK.
If the fuel supply is OK and the spark is good, then there may be a problem with the carburettor or the timing may have slipped.
There is often a drain plug at the base of the carb, check to see if any water has got in through a contaminated fuel tank or heavy rain and no air filter. If suspect, remove the air filter, and the top of the carb for a cursory check, looking for any signs of excess dirt or water. Clean out as best as possible, but do not disturb too much. Pour a spoonful of fuel down the large inlet hole of the carburettor, then see if the engine runs.

If the ignition sparks seem OK, then the timing may have slipped. This will need a quick check of the distributor, where the five thick wires fit into. If the cap is loose, then fit it back as best as you can, If the body is loose, then while a friend tries to start the engine, rotate the distributor body slightly each way until the engine runs, then adjust the position so it runs well, then tighten it securely. Make an ignition timing check as soon as you can, preferably within ten miles or so.

Other things to check if it still does not run happily.
Punctured or ripped carburettor diaphragm. Classic symptom is that the engine will start and run, but no power. The diaphragm is a five quid rubber sleeve inside the top round cover of the carb which can be replaced in five minutes.
Clogged air filter. If it is dirty, remove it for a few hours use only.

Overheating.
Engines are cooled using water. If the cooling system fails, then the engine will get hot and overheat.
It is assumed you keep an eye on the temperature gauge. When it gets too hot, simply park and allow it to cool down while you do a cursory check. Main problems are a broken fan belt, sticking thermostat, or a damaged cylinder head gasket, or leaking coolant system. If leaking, use radiator sealant and top up, then drive slowly home.
If a broken fan belt, a pair of tights/pantihose can be tied into a belt over the Vee pulleys. If not available, then a few turns of string or anything which will last long enough for a few miles or more.

If a sticking thermostat, which prevents the coolant from flowing, then the thermostat can be removed as a temporary measure, but it will need spanners and some spare water, plus some chewing gum or other sealant to seal the damaged thermostat gasket. If no gasket, then simply keep topping up the coolant from any water supply until you reach safety. In total desperation, then remove the bonnet (hood) let the engine cool down, then drive carefully for no more than two minutes until the engine core has cooled down again. In such cases, you need only need to run the engine to get up a hill, then switch off and coast downhill.

Nasty noises.
Always keep an ear open for engine noises. If they get worse, try to get somewhere safe, then diagnose carefully. If lucky, it is sometimes it is just a rattly exhaust, a broken bracket, loose fan, or such like, If not, then don't take too many chances.

Brakes.
If the brakes fail then use the hand brake, Then use the engine as a brake, by changing down to a lower gear, such as second or first gear, and use the hand brake to stop.
Switching off the engine while it remains in gear also makes a passable brake, but only if you do not have power steering.
If truly desperate, then use a hedge or a wall to drive against to slow down the car if you are on a steep hill.
If the brakes fail completely, then park somewhere safe. If the brakes are marginal, check the brake fluid level. Top up with brake fluid or any fluid if desperate, then repair as soon as possible. Use the handbrake only to stop, otherwise drive slowly, avoid all hills and change down using the gears.

Cars general:
As society increasingly becomes totally dependant upon a few, we may end up with a sticker on the bonnet sating 'no user serviceable parts inside'. By this time, most people will be consumer sheep, fit only to graze in malls. Luckily, some people still manage to repair their own cars.
A friend of my sisters bought her first car and proudly showed it to us. I asked her if she knew how to change a tyre, as I was about to do so on another car, and so I took her through the procedure. That week, while taking friends out to a party, she had a puncture. Her shallow friends said they would catch a taxi, rather than help. She decided to stay and replace the spare wheel, getting there just ten minutes later without getting dirty hands.
While most people now sit by the side of the road waiting for help, others may simply lift the bonnet and at least look for anything obvious.

Remember that if you are stuck in the middle of nowhere, then even a few simple and basic ideas can get you out of trouble.

Remember that most faults are not very difficult and you may be on your way before the rescue truck arrives. It happens just enough to make the effort worthwhile, and you have nothing to loose.- Just don't mess anything such that it cannot be repaired enough to get home.

Millions of years of evolution has given most of us a form of body to be truly proud of.
We stand upright, beautifully balanced on two feet and have superb use of hands and eyes, so the world is our oyster.

We should be capable of keeping such a fine form in good condition. - If you can keep your house clean, or your car polished, or your computer optimised, then you can also give the same standards to your body.

It is not possible to develop an award winning body without special equipment or resorting to a gym. But for most ordinary people, keeping healthy is adequate and free.
Not all overly fit people should be considered as the norm. Many intelligent and older people are also incredibly fit. After success in three Ten Tors expeditions, I still had problems keeping up with a short, sixty year old boilermaker across Dartmoor. If he can be that fit, so can the rest of us.
To paraphrase Plato/Socrates in the Republic, the more society has doctors and lawyers, the worse the society. Fitness and kindness make a much better world.
There are many simple strategies which save the user the expense and time of spending time at the gym.
Many people have a cycle machine or work bench in the spare bedroom, yet such machines often gather more dust than sweat.

Cycling or jogging to and from the gym without entering can offer a lot of savings, including petrol and parking costs and travelling time. Likewise cycling to work will also help. There is a well known internet search engine whose corridors are littered with cycles. The staff also play street hockey in the lunch hours. Such firms are not easy to find, but well worth searching out.

For most people, cycling to work is not possible, yet very simple strategies can integrate normal travel. Consider getting off the bus or tube train a couple of stops earlier, then walking the rest of the way. You may also save parking fees. Then take the stairs every day, to help keep fit.
It soon becomes second nature.
When going up and down stairs, do not use the rails, as this helps you develop much better sense of balance. The rails are there if you need them, but a fit person should not need them except in emergency. Try to walk up two steps at a time, as this stretches the legs better.
Likewise take the same method on the way home.
If using a car, park a few miles away from the station, allowing a variety of safety margins to get to work on time. By leaving an extra half an hour every morning, the day can start at a more gentle pace with a walk to think things through before starting work. Finding a parking space may be a lot easier, possibly a selection of parking places, with different routes to work, preferably through a park or beside a river.
Oh it's such a nice day - Today I'll think park to the south and walk along the river to the station.
To learn the may ways available in your area, search out many interesting routes on the way back from the station and see where it leads, until you find a nice parking area. An afternoon spent this way will give you many ways to start your day, perhaps across a heath if sunny, or a sheltered woody path if a windy or snowy winter. A cheap poncho solves most problems should you be caught in the rain.

Sitting in a chair at work need not be simple. A job sitting in a chair all day need not give you a fat arse, although a poor diet will help it grow.
Lifting the legs slowly outwards, then dropping them slowly can tone up some parts of the thighs and stomach. Lifting slightly off the seat using the hands on the arm rests strengthens arms and shoulders.
Slow sets of ten each, twice a day.
Standing up from a seat and back down again is very simple exercise, so always get up and walk, even if the required item is close by.
If a pencil drops off the table, practice standing up, then crouching down with a straight and vertical spine. If it rolls under the desk, time to get in a few press-ups.

In Britain, unlike China, people do not start the day with Tai-Chi, but at lunch time, go for a walk, a stroll in the park, around the factory perimeter road or wherever is nice. If in the centre of a horrible city, the search out its history and architecture and such like.

Jogging is also possible if keen. If a large place, perhaps start with a brisk walk to warm up, then a five minute jog and then a stroll. This may require a few circuits of smaller sites. A few hills will help. If it gets boring, try to find as many different routes as possible.
If the boss asks what you are doing, invite him along for a brisk stroll, you may soon be in his good books for the right reasons.

Simple household objects can be used each evening for simple tone-ups:
The stairs, floor and bed.
Feet under the bed, to allow sit ups. While in bed, it is possible to do two sets of ten sit-ups in bed. Face down on the bed, to do two sets of ten slow back curls to lift chin and knees off the bed.
Floor exercises. Two sets of ten crouching to touch the floor, then full stretch to the ceiling while waiting for the kettle to boil in the morning. Simple lying on the floor for sit ups while watching TV.
If old, a couple of tins of baked beans lifted ten times with arm curls in the same way as body builders, but not so intensely. For most people, simple press ups on the floor. Two sets of five twice a week for a few weeks, then two sets of ten, three times a week.

You don't have to take time out to keep fit. When walking home from the supermarket with two heavy carrier bags, take the opportunity to do some arm lifts. Lift the bags up and forward, then hold and relax. Do so ten times. Then to the rear. Then to the sides.
Just because you are waiting for the bus, then use the time to strengthen the arms, chest, shoulders and legs.

See also Tai-Chi which is simple keep fit for young and older people. If it works for most of Asia, it can work for you. Exercises the mind and body. The author is writing an animated Tai-Chi guide which may be available soon.
For younger people, consider ice skating. If you become proficient, it can work up a lot of effort, from what seems a graceful pursuit. It also improves balance, control and many other skills, while retaining a high degree of subtlety and gracefulness.
For those who do not like ice skating, then walking is also a great way to keep fit. A few good hills each week will ensure the heart and lungs get a reasonable work-out, while also having the advantage of being able to go somewhere useful. Consider walking into town shopping, then catching the bus back home, leaving you with plenty of spare time for other pursuits.

With a healthy house and a healthy body, don't forget a healthy mind.
My last boss reminded me of the phrase from a Sex Pistols track-

Wise words indeed. Do not let your mind become a slum. Be nice to everyone. Read a book, take along walk in nice countryside. If no countryside, take a book for a walk, and sit somewhere peaceful to read it. Anything to make the world a better place for all and yourself a better person.

Life is not all football and soaps. You deserve better.
For walking, see the authors website. For books, ask your friends.

That's about all for the moment. If wanting to build your own computer, or learn motorcycle mechanics, or wiring, or the outdoors and other stuff, see my website. More may ensue, but the above should help you get a little more out of life in modern Britain of an increasingly divergent rich and poor peoples.

If you found this monograph useful, feel free to Email. jhpart@btinternet.com
Feedback is always welcome and will help to refine this monograph, with the intention to make life easier, more adaptable and available to all.

If you are Anglo-Saxon, male, middle aged, over educated with plenty of skills and long term unemployed, please email, as there are far too many of us and we should get political, especially if you love Britain. More so if you dislike the way it is going downhill fast, being sold off by the blue party and further ruined by the red party and watched by the yellow party.

You don't have to buy from the highstreet. The world is awash with small shops who cannot afford the exorbitant rates. Support the small local shops before they disappear. Our politicians and government seems to dislike post offices, pharmacies and small, local businesses. (Are they influenced by the big shops?)
We only get what we vote for. If we all blindly follow those who are in the palms of the rich, or think they know best, then heaven forbid, we may even end up in a world where all cars begin to look alike, and the only options will be the exciting variations of cup holders or other such facile crap. If (when) this happens we will know we are dumbed down ready to become consumer sheep, fit only to graze in malls.
If you are British and think Britain deserves better, then always vote to keep lawyers out of politics. You do not have to vote red or blue or yellow. You have the right and can still vote using your common sense and British values too.

We only get what we vote for. You have the right to vote for anyone you wish. If there is no one worthy of your vote, then you also have the right not to vote, but always go and spoil your paper to let them know you are prepared to vote, but none are worthy of your vote. Write 'none of the above' on the paper. With electronic voting, the government will prevent even this. But you have the duty to vote for a better Britain wherever possible. Please do so, if you can.

If interested further, here's some other monographs by the same author. As you read them , please consider giving me a job please. My last boss told me I did thrice the work of the last draughtsman, - pity the pay was minimum.

A Beginners Guide to Building your own Computer.
How to make your own 170 quid designer glasses for two quid.
How to walk. A beginners guide to the outdoors.
Teach yourself to swim.
Look after your teeth.
A Beginners Guide to Motorcycle, Trike and Car Wiring.
A Builders Guide to Motorcycle Design.
A Builders Guide to Trike Design.
A Beginners Guide to Motorcycle Mechanics. Basics.
A Beginners Guide to Motorcycle Mechanics. Intermediate.
A Beginners Guide to Motorcycle Mechanics. Advanced.
A Builders Guide to Composite HPV Cycle Design.
A Builders Guide to Composite Motorcycle Design.
A Builders Guide To Survival Knife Design.
A Builders Guide To Survival Kit Design.
A Builders Guide To Camper Van Design.
A Builders Guide To Basic Wind tunnel Design.
Stonehenge and spanners.
Simple alternative electronic ignition.
Easy life. Bikers touring guide.
Future dreams. Short story.
Aliens. Short story.
A couple of short stories and lots of other stuff.

Coming soon.
A 4 CD Guide to Dartmoor.
Home Schooling Curricula, - Maths, English , Science, Technology. 11 to 16 yrs.
An unemployed guide to Jobcentres and the evils of Working Links.
How British employers can find skilled British staff. Engineers, scientists, teachers. (No need for immigrants!)

Other stuff which could be published include:
A degree level course in motorcycle design.
A lateral look at innovation. From Polynesian monkey traps to BV141.
An approach to preventing design stagnation in small businesses. Early draft.
A history of motorcycle design, its roots and future, a 1990 draft basis of a thesis on motorcycle development.
Ergonomics and control possibilities for single track vehicles. Early draft.
Building the Future: Development possibilities for single track vehicles. Compilation.
Fundamental corporate design stagnation and the rise of the car cup holder.
Social hurdles leading to the failure to find qualified staff. A few case histories.
The music of Henry Purcell.
Reading between the lines: DNA and archaeology.

Begging.
Begging is the bottom line of this work. Being just one of the many long term unemployed English science graduates with a strong engineering background in nuclear, marine and other spheres, the author would like a job. A job teaching engineering or creating composite machines would be most tempting.

Most of the vast numbers of 'begging bowl innovators' have ideas, so please help. British venture capital is unfortunately an oxymoron, a joke comparable with our railways and education system. Funding is needed, so please help. If you are embarrassingly rich, please be so kind as to offer sponsorship.

The author would like a job. Please consider this monograph a CV.

Thanks,
John. Partridge. B.Ed. B.Sc. etc.

As mentioned earlier, here's a letter recently published in the local press.

Dear Sir,
I have just heard the news: One in four firms cannot find qualified staff.

As just one of many thousands who apply to these firms and employment agencies, I'm something of an expert in the problem. I can open the eyes of employers who cannot find qualified staff. The problem is in two parts. 'Firms cannot find', and 'Qualified staff'. Qualifications first, here is a cautionary note. Trained as an engineer and draughtsman, my Jobcentre advised me to retrain as a technology teacher. Like an idiot, I took their advice, and have been unemployed for six years. To give them their due, the Jobcentre tried to enlist me in the army, until I pointed out an obvious age limit. On far too many occasions I'm told that I am overqualified. Car mechanic, lab technician, teacher, engineer, the list is interesting and long. Not wishing to sit on my butt, I did an O.U. science degree, yet still remain unemployed, in a country supposedly desperate for science and technology teachers. A local school even had the audacity to state in writing by the board of governors that my B.Ed, and B.Sc. are 'not suitable' for a part time school laboratory technician. Lets face facts. Neither adults nor our kids have any hope from a British education system so stupid that it holds British education and science degrees in complete and utter contempt. So much for being qualified.
Sorry folks, but there is something wrong, and its simply not my being male and over forty. It is much, much wider than that. I decided to find out more. Now for 'Firms cannot find. . .' As an interesting sociology project, I recommend profiling the modern personnel manger and the politically correct 'human resources manager', it's a frightening experience. It's even more frightening as they are supposed to be 'gatekeepers'. (Are humans resources, or are we people?)
Any reasonably competent firm should employ a gatekeeper to ensure they have sufficiently wide and experienced knowledge and skills to expand or improve the firm. Only similar incompetence by competitors will save them. The underlying problems are politically incorrect, but any reasonably intelligent person can figure it out.
Clue One. A friend and I applied for the same job as a lab technician. (Plymouth university.) Despite only a tenth of my relevant knowledge, she got the job. I, not even an interview. I now help her with the maths she needs. She finds the job difficult and often takes sick leave. I could do the job blindfolded. She is embarrassed.
Clue Two. I recently walked past my local school as an open air science lesson was being taught. It was flawed by a fundamental lack of understanding by the teacher. I suspect our children will soon leave school worse than a generation ago. Employers who can't find qualified staff now, will find it much worse all too soon.

From a little research and first hand experience, I have observed that many local firms are now so 'organised' that they actually discriminate against, and filter out the qualified people they seek.
British firms are now so anal, (to use an Americanism,) that they actively castrate their own long term prospects. Yes, they are that stupid, there is no other explanation. Strange times indeed. I can only refer them to the works of Tom Peters.

Throughout history, Britain has traditionally wasted far too many good brains. We are so good at it, that a professional careers advisor, paid by our government, has advised me that I should leave my qualifications off my CV if I want to find work. Today, we can no longer afford this level of stupidity. When Britain goes down the toilet, there will be many thousands, just like me who are only too happy to pull the flush. If employers are too stupid to tap this wealth of expertise, at a time when they need it to offset the onslaught of multinational take-overs, then heaven help us all.
This traditional British sickness is spreading, and personnel managers(esses) are the plague vector.

Open your eyes. If you look closely, you will see that the original statement is indeed correct. One in four firms cannot find qualified staff.

John Partridge.

jhpart@btinternet.com

Always try to improve society rather than just take from it. Until then, lawyer stuff. Copying, duplication or transmission of this material whole or in part is not permitted without the written permission of the author. The contents of this text are for illustrative purposes only. Errors and omissions excepted. Contents subject to change without notice. All material herein is subject to copyright, patent and other intellectual property rights. All rights reserved. Copyright (C) J.Partridge. 2003.