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WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF WHITBOURN
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What's New OR: 'Yo, ladies ... What's happenin ? Whatever Next ? [ Downs Lord Triptych / The Two Confessions / Amy-Faith & the Stronghold] |
MILITARY MEDITATIONS REGARDING THE 'UNCLE' SERIES by
J. P. MARTIN
Firstly:
J. P. Martin and the 'Uncle' Books J.P.
Martin (1880 -1966) was a Scarborough born Methodist minister who served
as a missionary in South Africa and as army chaplain in the Holy Land during
World War One. Following long and faithful service back in England he
retired to the Somerset village of Timberscombe after World War Two and died
there in 1966. The impression I get
is of a saintly but down-to-earth and jolly gentleman. The
Uncle stories were initially told to his children and were never intended for
publication. However, decades after
their initial telling, he was persuaded to write them down and his final years
were gilded by their publication and recognition as classics. Alas,
the modern conformist and political correct publishing world has decreed the
Uncle series as 'classist' (?!) and aside from sporadic exceptions they have
fallen out of print. The books now
command astounding prices on the second hand market - although rumour has it
versions are freely available on the web. So,
what's it all about ? Answer:
The battle between two ways of life in a superbly realised surreal fantasy world
- somewhere in England. And
who is Uncle ? The books say it
best: 'Uncle
is an elephant. He's immensely
rich, and he's a B.A. He dresses
well, generally in a purple dressing-gown, and rides about on a traction engine,
which he prefers to a car.' He
has innumerable friends and allies, plus implacable enemies. Uncle
and the former live in Homeward which is '
... hard to describe, but try to think of about a hundred skyscrapers all joined
together and surrounded by a moat with a drawbridge over it, and you'll get some
idea. The towers are of many
colours, and there are bathing pools and gardens amongst them, also switchback
railways running from tower to tower, and water-chutes from top to bottom.' Whereas
aforementioned 'enemies' are 'The Badfort gang', a disreputable rabble of sack-wearing
drink-swigging yobboes who live opposite Homeward in Badfort which is; 'a
shabby, smoke-begrimed pile spoiling the view' and
depicted as a semi-derelict walled town of nissen huts. Foremost
therein is the Hateman family, headed by Beaver Hateman - who is
not without a sort of rascally charm.
His ceaseless war against Uncle is assisted by a motley crew of ghosts,
rapscallions and monsters. All
are eternally visualised in the books by Quentin Blake's marvellous
illustrations and I can do no better than refer people to them to capture the
sheer anarchic energy of Martin's creations The
Books in their order of publication are:
1 ] Uncle (1964)
[ U ] For
more and better particulars, see: http://www.encyclopedia4u.com/j/j-p-martin.html http://www.video-design.demon.co.uk/jpmartin.html ****** SUGGESTED
ARMIES
'HORDES
OF THE THINGS' Troop Classes +
Army Point ( AP ) cost )
[
NB. Armies must total 24 AP ] Gods.
[ 4 AP ] Dragons.
[ 4 AP ] Airboats.
[ 3 AP ] Flyers.
[ 2 AP ] Heroes.
[ 4 AP ] ( Aerial Hero = 6 AP ) Paladins.
[ 4 AP ] Knights.
[ 2 AP ] Riders.
[ 2 AP ] Behemoths.
[ 4 AP ] Beasts.
[ 2 AP ] Blades.
[ 2 AP ] Spears.
[ 2 AP ] Shooters.
[ 2 AP ] Warband.
[ 2 AP ] Artillery.
[ 3 AP ] Hordes.
[ 1 AP ] Lurkers.
[ 1 AP ] Sneakers.
[ 3 AP ] Magicians.
[ 4 AP ] Clerics.
[ 3 AP ]
UNCLE
& HIS FOLLOWERS BEHEMOTH
GENERAL ( UNCLE )
@ 4AP x
1 =
4 ARTILLERY
( RUDOLPH )
@ 3AP x
1 =
7 SNEAKER
( THE OLD MONKEY )
@ 3AP x
1 =
10 BLADES
( CLOUTMAN & GUBBINS )
@ 2AP x
2 =
14 SPEARS
( UNCLE’S FOLLOWERS )
@ 2AP x
2 =
18 SHOOTERS
( UNCLE’S FOLLOWERS )
@ 2AP x
1 =
20 BEASTS
( MAESTRO & LITTLE LION )
@ 2 AP x
1 =
22 KNIGHT
( COWGILL + STEAM CAR )
@ 2AP x
1 =
24 STRONGHOLD
- Homeward Castle. Alternatives: KNIGHT
( THE MUNCLE )
@2AP 1 KNIGHT
( RES’ HORSES + CARRIAGE )
@ 2AP
1 RIDERS
( CLAUDIUS THE CAMEL )
@ 2AP
1 RIDERS
( THE RESPECTABLE HORSES )
@ 2 AP
1 BLADES
( KING OF THE BADGERS )
@ 2AP
1 BEASTS
( LEOPARDS )
@2AP
1 BEASTS
( MARQUIS OF WOLFTOWN )
@ 2AP 1 SHOOTERS
( DWARF TENANTS ) @ 1AP
2 WARBAND
( MISS MAIDY/MISS WACE )
@ 2AP 1 ARTILLERY
( COWGILL ) @ 3AP
1 HORDES
( DWARF TENANTS ) @ 1AP
4 HORDES
( BADGERS ) @1AP
4 HORDES
( WOLVES )
@1AP
2 SNEAKER
( GOODMAN )
@3AP 1 SNEAKER
( A. B. FOX ) @3AP
1 MAGICIAN
( WIZARD BLENKINSOP ) @4AP
1 CLERIC
( GLEAMHOUND & EVA )
@ 3AP 1 ****** THE
BADFORT CROWD HERO
GENERAL ( BEAVER HATEMAN )
@ 4AP
1
4 BLADES
( HATEMAN FAMILY )
@ 2AP
1
6 BEHEMOTH
( JELLYTUSSLE )
@ 4AP
1
10 SNEAKER
( HITMOUSE ) @ 3AP
1
13 BEAST
( WOODEN-LEGGED DONKEY ) @ 2AP
1 15 WARBAND
( BADFORTERS ) @ 2AP
2
19 SHOOTERS
( MISC. BADFORTERS )
@ 2AP
1
21 HORDES
( MISC. BADFORTERS ) @ 1AP
3
24 STRONGHOLD
- Badfort. Alternatives: RIDER
GENERAL ( BEAVER H + DONKEY ) @2 AP 1 FLYERS
( BATTY )
@ 2AP
1 RIDERS
( ABDULLAH C’PEG MERCHANT )
@ 2AP
1 SNEAKER
( HOOTMAN ) @ 3 AP
1 HORDES
( GHOSTS ) @ 1AP
2 MAGICIAN
( WIZARD SNIPEHAZER ) @ 4AP
1 ****** NB.
1 The 'Uncle-verse' is combative but not cruel.
Although, for instance, crossbows, swords and skewers are wielded there
are no recorded instances where The
Grim Reaper visits either Homeward or Badfort or the battles betwixt them. Therefore,
when the rules dictate that an
element is 'destroyed' it may be safely assumed that these personages are
dispersed, drubbed, duffed-up and degraded rather than 'deaded'. They then retreat back to base, to lick their wounds (
perhaps assisted by one of Gleamhound's topsy-turvy 'For Enemies' poisons ),
bide their time and live to fight another day. However,
elements 'destroyed' by Uncle are, of course, 'Kicked Up' by his mighty boot and
soar majestically high into the air, beyond the board and thus out of the game.
The Uncle books graphically record both Beaver Hateman and Jellytussle
suffering this painful and humiliating fate. ******
( p179 )
CHARACTER
LISTS & SUGGESTED HOTT CLASSIFICATION As
a by-product of these 'researches' I've collated all the character lists from
the start of each book into 'Friends of Uncle', 'The Badfort Crowd &
Allies', and 'Others'. By the by, I thereby noted that a couple of people move from
'Others' to 'Friends' in the course of the series - a tribute to the attraction
of our hero Elephant's benevolent dictatorship.
Anyhow,
I thought the lists might interest people and save anyone intending a 'concordance
of characters' a bit of time. Also, though they won't necessarily mean a great
deal to those who don't know the HOTT rules, they give the general idea.
Abbreviations
for first mention of name in character lists:
1
] Uncle (1964) [ U ]
UNCLE
& HOMEWARD [
Nb. * = component within an
element. All others are elements in
their own rights ]
'Uncle's Followers'. Uncle. Behemoth ?
Hero ? [ U ] Rudolph. ( Uncle's brother ).
Hero ? Artillery ?
[ U ] Miss Maidy / Aunty & Miss Wace / The Companion. Warband. [ U ] The Old Monkey. Sneaker.
[ U ] The Muncle. Knight ?
[ U ] The One-Armed Badger. Spear*
[ U ] Butterskin Mute. Spear*
[ U ] Cloutman. Blades.
[ U ] Gubbins. Blades.
[ U ] Cowgill. With engine
- Knight. With projectiles -
Artillery. [ U ] Don Guzman. Spear*
[ U ] Dr Lyre. Spear*
[ U ] Noddy Ninety. Sneaker
or Spear* [ U ] The Maestro & the Little Lion.
Beasts. [ U ] Mig. Spear*
[ U ] Alonzo S. Whitebeard. Lurker
? Spear*
[ U ] Captain Walrus. Spear*
[ U ] Gleamhound / The Old Man & Eva.
Cleric. [ U ] Lilac Stamper. ?
[ U ] The Respectable Horses. With
carriage - Knight. Otherwise -
Riders ? [ U ] Dr Bunker. ? [ U ] Titus Wiley. ? [ U ] Samuel Hardbake. ?
[ U ] Benjamin Cheapman. Magician
? [ U ] Dearman. Lurker ( in
shop ). [ U ] The King of the Badgers (+ bodyguard ).
Blades [ U ] Dwarves. Hordes or
Shooters. [ U ] The Marquis of Wolftown (+ bodyguard).
Riders or Beasts. [ U ] Badgers. Hordes.
[ U ] Wolves. Beasts.
[ U ] Leopards. Beasts.
[ U ] Oldeboy. ?
[ UCU ] Wizard Blenkinsop. Magician.
[ UCU ] Mr Benskin. ?
[ UCU ] Joseph
Cadcoon. ?
[ UCU ] Wisdom Sage. ? [ UCU ] Needler. ?
[ UCU ] Goodman. Sneaker ?
[ UHD ] Will Shudder. Cleric
? [ UHD ] A. B.
Fox. Detective.
? [ UHD ] Mr & Mrs Snowjuice. ?
[ UHD ] Waldovenison Smeare. ? [ UHD ] Thomas Woeband. ?
[ UHD ] Colonel Lungy. ? [ UHD ] Leominster. ?
[ UHD ] Tabby Bismuth. ?
[ UHD ] Ira Smoothy. ?
[ UHD ] Jimmy Linseed. ?
[ UHD ] Heffo. ?
[ UHD ] Malley. ?
[ UHD ] Sleepy Sam. ? [ UCC ] Your Syd. ? [ UCC ] ( ‘Other’ in UCU ) Lady Lionease. ?
[ UCC ] Glenmore & Gloria Giraffe.
? [ UCC ] Miss Wolf. ? [ UCC ] General Boar. ? [ UCC ] Lucy. ?
[ UCC ] Claudius the Camel ( & Followers ).
Riders. [ UCC ] Young Ben Bandit. ?
[ UCC ] Hotdonk. ?
[ UCC ] Idleass. ?
[ UCC ] Silverson. ?
[ UCC ] Tigerino. ?
[ UCC ] Thomas Scoffins. ?
[ UCC ] Mona Washford. ?
[ UCC ] Brass. ?
[ UBB ] Iama Goldsack. ?
[ UBB ] Finn. ?
[ UBB ] Mrs Witch. ? [ UBB ] Lily. ?
[ UBB ] Mrs Moonray. ?
[ UBB ] Lucy Moonray. ?
[ UBB ] Mr Animal. ? [ UBB ] Brashbag. ?
[ UBB ] Septimus Brigg. ? [ UBB ] Bab. ?
[ UBB ]
The
Badfort Crowd. Beaver Hateman. Hero
( + Wooden-legged Donkey - Rider ). [ U ] Nailrod Hateman (Sen.). Blades*
[ U ] Nailrod Hateman ( Jnr. ).
Blades* [ U ] Filljug Hateman. Blades*
[ U ] Sigismund Hateman. Blades*
[ U ] J. Hawkins Flabskin. Warband*
[ U ] Isidore Hitmouse. Sneaker.
[ U ] William Mud-Dog. Warband*
[ U ] J. Merryweather Oiler ( Oily Joe ).
Warband* [ U ] H. Slimegrove Binns. Warband*
( mentioned only p29 of U
] Joseph Skinns.
Warband* [ U ] Mallet Crackbone. Warband*
[ U ] Firlon Hootman. Magician
? Sneaker ?
[ U ] Jellytussle. Behemoth
? [ U ] Abdullah the clothes-peg Merchant.
? [ U ] Toothie. Warband*
[ U ] The Wooden-Legged Donkey. Beast
? Rider ?
[ U ] The Bookman. ?
[ U ] Ghosts. Hordes. [ U ] Generic Badfort. Hordes
or Shooter. [ U ] Wizard Snipehazer. Magician
? [ UCU ] Laurence Goatsby. ?
[ UCU ] Professor Gandleweaver. ?
[ UCU ] Gasparado. ?
[ UCU ] Simon Eggman. ? [ UCU ] Batty. Flyer.
[ UHD ] The Giddings. ?
[ UTT ] Thomas Melon. ? [ UCC ] Brunhill. ?
[ UCC ] Adolphus Hitmouse. ?
[ UBB ] 'Hated
By Both Sides.' Old Whitebeard. [ U ]
'Others' Sir Ben Bandit. [ UCC
] Mrs Pointer. [ UCC ] Miss Jezebel Pointer. [
UCC ] Mr Richard Pointer. [
UCC ] Mr Friendship Pointer. [
UCU ] Mr T. Smiggs Pointer. [
UCU ] Tom Fullglass. [ UCU
] Mrs Smallweed. [ UCU
] Rugbo.
[ UCU ] Your
Syd.
[ UCU ] ( ‘Uncle’s Follower’ in UCC ) Ivan
Koff.
[ UCU ] Len
Footganger.
[ UCU ] Thomas
Glot.
[ UCU ] Walter
Meal.
[ UCU ] Thomas
& Cora Bear.
[ UTT ] Brashbag. [ UTT ] Lady Lionease. [ UTT
] ( ‘Uncle’s follower’ in UCC ) Wobs & Gibson. [
UTT ] The Singers & The Soapies. [ UTT ] Trueback. [ UTT ] The Crookball People. [
UTT ] ****** |