Broadcast Dates:   14/09/1998 - 19/10/1998
        Regular Cast:  Jim Royle: RICKY TOMLINSON, Barbara Royle: SUE JOHNSTON,
                              Denise Royle: CAROLINE AHERNE, Antony Royle: RALF LITTLE,
                                Dave Best: CRAIG CASH.
              Written by:  CAROLINE AHERNE, CRAIG CASH & HENRY NORMAL.
            Directed by:  MARK MYLOD.    Produced by: GLEN WILHIDE.
Executive Producer:  ANDY HARRIES.  Theme: Half The World Away by OASIS

EPISODE 1: 
What Happens:  Whilst Barbara swots up on cake prices for her first day at the bakers,
husband Jim frets over the phone bill.  Their daughter Denise and neighbour Cheryl discuss plans for Denise's impending wedding to Dave and study men's underwear in the catalogue.
Twiggy arrives and sells Jim some jeans and Cheryl some Arabic Wash'n'Go.  Dave and Denise prepare for Beverly Macca's eighteenth birthday party at The Feathers where Dave is DJ.  Who did call Aberdeen?
Others seen:  Mary Carroll: DOREEN KEOGH, Cheryl Carroll: JESSICA STEVENSON,
                        Twiggy: GEOFFREY HUGHES.
Not seen:  Norma, Auntie Vi, Sandra Beswick(aka Sandy Scissors), Gary who stinks of                      mince, Lee(Twiggy's son), Duckers, Tony Macca, Beverly Macca, Darren, Mr & Mrs Best.
What they watch:  Today's The Day, Birds Of A Feather ad, Home & Away, TFI Friday.
What they eat: Egg & chips(Dave had corn beef hash for tea).
Jim says My Arse:  It's good to talk, Crab's arse, Career, Bridesmaid.
Magic Moments:  JIM(watching Chris Evans): Look at that gobshite...full of himself.  He's
                            like my arse, best kept out of sight.
                              DENISE: He's a millionaire him, Dad.
                              JIM: He's still got ginger bollocks.
                              BARBARA: That reminds me I've got some tangerines in the kitchen.
                           
                              DAVE: Isn't she lovely Barbara...? Eh, you know what they say, if you
                              want to know what your wife'll look like when she's older, just look at
                              the mother.
                              JIM: Hey, your not calling the wedding off at this late stage. 
       
                              BARBARA(on Beverly Macca): Ah, I always feel a bit sorry for her
                              with them two kids. She has it hard.
                              DENISE: She likes it hard, that's her trouble.

EPISODE 2:
What Happens:  At tea-time, Denise complains about the bean juice touching her chop and
Jim whines that Dave's dad isn't contributing towards the wedding because he's on a
disability allowance.  Denise lets Barbara have her suede boots along with the remaining
payments.  Jim whinges when he learns that Nana will be coming on Sunday and Dave and
Antony go out to wind up neighbours; Jacko and Lorraine about their new car.
Others seen:  None.
Not seen:  Norma, Mary & Joe, Cheryl, Gary who stinks of mince, Mr & Mrs Best,
Sandra Beswick(aka Sandy Scissors), Auntie Margaret, Flat Nosed Alan, Karen & Gary, Charlie Liddle, Donna & Pauline from the bakers, Old Frank, Tony Macca, Duckers, Jacko,
Leggings Lorraine, Carol.
What they watch:  Family Fortunes ad, Watchdog Pocket Money, Merecats United.
What they eat:  Chops & beans, apple pie(Dave had sausage & chips for tea).
Jim says My Arse:  Pasta(twice), Borrow.
Magic Moments:  DENISE: Mam, will you tell Antony to stop slurping his tea?
                              BARBARA: Antony, stop slurping your tea.
                            ANTONY: Dave eats like a pig and you never say owt to him.
                              DENISE: He doesn't eat like a pig. That's asthma thanks very much.

                              DENISE: Dad, stop fiddling with yourself.
                              JIM: I'm not fiddling with myself...I paid a quid for these underpants.
                              I've got fifty pence worth stuck up my arse.

                              JIM: Your mother won't have long now I bet.
                              BARBARA: Jim!
                              JIM: Well, she's had a good innings.
                            BARBARA: You're a miserable sod at times you. What sort of thing
                              is that to say? 
                              JIM: Uh, I think I've cheered myself up. Is there any Penguins left?