The Log of the H. M. S. India

When Britain on Germany war did declare,
The R. M. S. "India" wanted to share
In slaying detestable pirates and Huns,
So she had her decks strengthened and mounted some guns.
Ri-toorai i-ooral i-ooral ri-tay.
She looked very fine in her orthodox grey,
With a fifty knot bow-wave to lead foes astray.
Ri-tooral --- etc.

We steamed down the Thames and at Sheerness we lay.
We tested our guns and I'm sorry to say,
They strewed broken windows all over the deck,
And the Midshipmen's cabins did terribly wreck.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
We were likely to be in pretty bad way.
For the steam-steering gear also carried away.
Ri-tooral --- etc.

In order to clear up this horrible mess
We put ship about and ran in for Sheerness,
And after some trouble in anchoring there
We worked up to dayligt our ship to repair.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
We cleared out of Sheernees the very next day
With destroyers to keep all the tin-fish at bay.
Ri-tooral --- etc.

We steamed through the Downs and we all thought it fine
Till the look-out man suddenly sighted a mine,
We circled around it and sent it to pot
By filling it's jacket with 303 shot.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
We entered the Channel by Folkestone Gateway
And soon lost the land for we stood well away
Ri-tooral --- etc.

Off Ireland we sighted a submarine top,
So we blazed off our guns and we gave it her hot,
But the tin-fish she dived and sank under the wave
And thought herself lucky her skin so to save.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
If we'd had some luck the I venture to say
In Davy Jones' locker her ribs now would lay.
Ri-tooral --- etc.

A heron blown out from the land in a gale,
Fagged out by his flight perched himself on our rail.
We fed him on fish which we stole from the cook,
Till he finally choked with a large piece he took.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
A least that's the yarn that has come up our way.
If you ask my opinion about it I say
Ri-tooral --- etc.

Strong winds and high seas we encountered in May.
The gallant old ship soaked itself with the spray
But in spite of her wetting she heavily scored,
For divil a green sea did she take aboard.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
She gave all the others a splendid display,
As she crashed through the billows that rose in her way.
Ri-tooral --- etc.

In June we waylaid the steamship "Gøtaland,"
Up in the North Sea full goods contraband.
We had her hove to in a couple of ticks,
And soon put an end to her pro-German tricks.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
Our six-pounder warning she had to obey,
And we sent her to Kirkwal without much delay.
Ri-tooral --- etc.

At three in the morning a strange light was shewn,
Away out to sea so the bugle was blown,
To stations we tumbled as quick as could be
And primed all the guns to receive enemy.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
It's all very well on a bright sunny day,
But in isn't much cop in your night-dress array.
Ri-tooral --- etc.

We signalled a large Yankee barque to heave to.
Her skipper used language both flowery and blue
And held on his course so we fired a blank shot
To show him we'd not stand American rot.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
On boarding we found that discretion held sway,
So we looked at his papers and bade him good-day.
Ri-tooral --- etc.

On June the fourteenth the Swede "Malmland" we caught
For four hours we chased her with coal running short,
Then had to release her Jove we felt sore,
But we captured two ships full of magnetic ore.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
The "Nordland" and "Volrath Tham" fell as out prey.
Thougt the "Malmland" escaped us she gave them away.
Ri-tooral --- etc.

Then we turned to the South and harbour we sought,
Till we ran up the Clyde and made Glasgow our port.
The city's not bad while the weather is bright
And the girls bless their hearts are a bit of all right.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
We all made the most of our all too brief stay,
And very successfully spent all our pay,
Ri-tooral --- etc.

Then off up to Norway once more we did go,
Where the sun shines all night on the mountains of snow,
And whales and porpoises gambol and heave,
Till disturbed by the ship when they hurriedly leave.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
We captured two ships in the course of the day,
The "Frederik the Eighth" and the "Renteria."
Ri-tooral --- etc.

On July the tenth we were Zig-zagging wide
When a torpedo missed us and skimmed past our side.
If our paint had been a few inches more thick,
That submarine shell would have finished the trick.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
We cut in for port without any delay,
And raced in the armed Merchantman "Patia"
Ri-tooral --- etc.

On another encounter I also must dwell.
Namely, how we took captive "Sire Ernest Cassel".
When she stoked all she knew in the limit to get,
But how we got inside her and stayed there you bet.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
We turned her head round and well out of the bay,
And sent her to Kirkwall to make a brief stay.
Ri-tooral --- etc.

But on August the eighth in the Western Fjord,
Came an end of our ship and of many aboard.
A torpedo struck her a terrible blow
By number three gun and soon sent her below.
Ri-tooral --- etc.
A hundred and twenty the Germans did slay,
But the "Saxon" and "Götland" saved us. Hurray!
Ri-tooral --- etc.