A bit late this quarter due to the holiday season. You can congratulate me now for withholding support for online ventures. Stick with me and I'll help you navigate the sea of equities.

It's an uncertain time for many market sectors: UK property has flattened out, technology is still too fashionable and hyped, financials and industrials will take a knock if interest rates go up. Where to put that little bit of risk capital?

How about one of these;

Vitroactive.
Ex-Pilkington top R&D man has developed a clear glass, but which is combined with magnetic compounds, so when broken every little piece can be easily picked up with almost any steel object, say, a metal comb. Still have a few problems with not altering the taste of drinks containing iron, like Guinness, and not being smashed if put down too close to loose metal objects.

DeciMow
To ensure your lawnmower remains upwardly compatible with any future EU noise regulations, this company manufactures a device which emits an interfering sound pattern to nullify your mower's - a technique used in some Japanese cars to mask cabin noise. For electric mowers a clip attached to the power cable senses when the mower is in use and turns the device on and off automatically - for petrol mowers a manual switch is provided, unfortunately the noise of the device itself without the mower exceeds most UK local authority noise regulations.

Bathemaster
Don't trust the flags, test seawater for quality yourself with this small portable kit. Contains 12 sachets: just rip off the top and immerse in seawater. 5 minutes later if it's turned blue, dive in, if mauve, paddle with caution, if pink, stay in your deckchair, if red, go home and wash all your clothes immediately.