Firstly the Ambiguous Ones:-
MAN FOUND DEAD IN GRAVEYARD

Passengers Hit by Cancelled Trains

EX-ALDERMAN DIES - One of Eight Axed by Tories

Massive Organ Draws Crowd

POLICE MOVE IN BOOK CASE

UNDERTAKER'S FAILURES - Let Down by Customers

20 Year Friendship Ends at the Altar

THREE BATTERED IN FISH SHOP
- Man Gaoled for Assault

Lucky Man Sees Friends Die

Man Recovering After Fatal Accident

STRIP CLUB SHOCK
Magistrates May Act on Indecent Shows

FALSE CHARGE OF THEFT OF HENS
Police on Wild Goose Chase

MAN DENIES COMMITTING SUICIDE

More Men Found Wedded Than Women

PRISONERS ESCAPE AFTER EXECUTION

PEER'S SEAT BURNS ALL NIGHT
Ancient Pile Destroyed

COUNCIL "DIGGING OWN GRAVE"
- Smaller Body Urged

STRIPPED GIRL
-Yard To Probe

MOUNTING PROBLEMS FOR NEWLY WEDS

Onion Prospects Reported Strong

FATHER OF TEN SHOT DEAD
- Mistaken For Rabbit

ARCHDEACON TURNS SOD

Porters March Over Asian Immigrants

NUDIST ARRESTED
Unclothed Man Admits Brandishing Gun
-Charged With Carrying Concealed Weapon

DEAD POLICEMAN IN THE FORCE FOR 18 YEARS

Woman Kicked By Husband Said To Be Greatly Improved

'Leonore' Only Opera Beethoven Wrote On Monday Evening

VOLUNTARY WORKERS STRIKE FOR HIGHER PAY

Police Found Safe Under Blanket

TROOPS WATCH ORANGE MARCH

SENATE PASSES DEATH PENALTY
Measure Provides For Electrocution
For All Persons Over 17

GOING TO AUSTRALIA FOR A WEE HONEYMOON?
-If We Can Fit It In, Says Couple

PROTESTOR TRIES TO SPOIL PLAY BUT THE ACTORS SUCCEEDED

CHANNEL SWIM EVENT
- Boston Girl's Arrival In Liverpool

MONTY FLIES BACK TO FRONT

Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans

STERILITY MAY BE INHERITED

Incest More Common Than Thought in U.S.

THEY'RE OFF,
Harold Tells Queen
(London Evening Standard)

ICELANDIC FISH TALKS
- Not Likely
(Grimsby Evening Telegraph)

Steps To Help Hill Farmers Urged
(Dundee Courier & Advertiser)

POPE DIES AGAIN
(British Newspaper 1978)

COLETTE: Grand Old Lady Of French Letters
(The Scotsman)

INSULATION: BRITAIN LAGS BEHIND

Equity Blacks Othello
(Daily Telegraph, London)

Negligence Alleged Over Loss of Leg
(The Scotsman)

Youth Hit By Train Is Rushed to Two Hospitals
(Harrow Observer)
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Next the Headlines enhanced by Spelling errors:-

OFFICER CONVICTED OF ACCEPTING A BRIDE

Bride Of Four Mouths Sues Husband

Richard Burton To Teach English At Oforxd

HOTEL BURNS DOWN
Two Hundred Guests Escape Half Glad

RURAL COUNCIL DISTRICT BIRTHRATE HIGHEST FOR TEN YEARS
Human Killer Adopted

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Then there is the amazing ability of headlines to state the obvious:-

MAN IS FATALLY MURDERED

Newly Weds, Aged 82, Have Problem

WIFE DIED AFTER ATTEMPTING TO COMMIT SUICIDE

Man Denies Committing Suicide

EVANS SAYS PUTTING MAN TO DEATH ELIMINATES
ALL HOPE OF REHABILITATION

Foul Play Suspected in Death of Man
Found Handless, Bound and Hanged

Council Claim Street Was Demolished By Accident

EX-BEAUTY QUEEN ADMITS SHE IS A WOMAN

Editors Blame Type-Setters
For Inakurate Spelling

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And there's more.........

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

Survivor Of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands

Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Teachers Strike Idle Kids

Clinton Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax

Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found By Tree

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter

Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge

New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart In Helping Feed Needy

Arson Suspect Held In Massachusetts Fire

Local High School Dropout Cuts In Half

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors

Deer Kill 17,000

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Air Head Fired

Steals Clock, Faces Time

Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board