Dear Nick.
You read like a solid sort of chap and therefore are quite right to be 
concerned about this world spanning organisation promoting the 
philosophies of one Robert Baden-Powell. Mr. Gan Goolie, he of the famed 
willow wielding, also showed much concern at the genesis of this movement 
and and for his pains had an anthem of ridicule written about his 
punishment. This is sung regularly by scouts as a warning, one that I 
resolutely ignore, to people such as you and I not to question the antics 
of this highly organised and suspect group. The words are written in an 
obscure dialect of Swahili and I have been unable, not being part of the 
movement, to get a literal translation of the lyrics but I have been able 
to elicit the gist of the ditty. In general it refers to the physical 
impairments that were done to Mr. Goolie once he returned to the pavilion 
from the crease and removed his box! The actual events on the day of 
Baden-Powell's revenge against the hapless Mr. Goolie are recorded in more 
detail in the original 1906 volume of Wisden. If you can't find the 
reference to the incident it is because it was withdrawn on legal advice 
and the story edited out of the reissue.
I myself, loosely related (the wife) to one of the local organisers of 
this force of insurrection, have for a number of months been monitoring 
the activities expressed in this news group. I have collected a fair sized 
portfolio of suspect behaviour from the missives which I hope to sell in 
the near future to one of the more caring tabloids and so secure my 
retirement finances. As a taster and to enhance the value of my findings, 
when I do approach one of the Australian media barons, I am prepared to 
share with you, in complete confidentiality for your own further 
investigations, some of my more astounding revelations from the secret 
world of scouting.
The following are things you may wish to look into further.
There is a regular ceremony called The Grand Howl where 7 to 11 year 
olds are forced to squat in a circle around a uniformed leader and 
proclaim that they will "do their best!". I believe this may be some form 
of veiled reference to their Woggle, whatever that is and my 
investigations continue. This aroused my interest so I decided that closer 
scrutiny was in order. 
On a covert information gathering mission I disguised myself as a camp 
cook a few weeks ago. Mistake - this was a too high profile approach and I 
would recommend to you something more subtle. There were too many admiring 
glances as I minced around the site in my pink pinnie (Marks & Spencer's, 
ukp 1.99) and Hardy Armies, off the shoulder, blue taffeta ball gown (I'd 
modelled myself on Klinger out of Mash). Anyway, whilst marinating some 
quail's feet for canapes later in the day I was approached by a small boy 
who asked if I had seen his garter! Horrified, I took him to one side to 
explain to him that I was in fact not interested in seeing his garter and 
told him straight that I only dressed like this on odd occasions. He 
seemed confused and distressed explaining that he had lost his so I 
couldn't see it and that if he didn't find it before the leaders inspected 
him he would be made to do a Fairy Dance!!
The Fairy Dance, I witnessed later, saw the whole coven assembled. The 
leaders took it in turns to hold various articles of clothing aloft whilst 
the unfortunate owners were forced to hop around on one leg admitting 
aloud that they were little fairies. The sublimation was heightened by the 
wolf whistles and jeering of those of their peers already initiated and 
ring leaders. 
Whilst at the camp I was also able to overhear, from where I had 
secreted myself behind a Tesco's economy pack 40 gallon drum of baked 
beans, a conversation between a group of the ring leaders where they used 
some form of coded language. To the unsuspecting the conversation was 
about tents but the words Guy's, Dollies and Sod Cloth were clearly 
audible, along with the phrase "loosen one's brailings"! I have been 
unable to get further information but it appears that the Guy's and 
Dollies referred to somehow hang around outside the tents! My quest for 
the truth continues on this subject especially the use for the Sod Cloth 
and effects of loosened Brailings.
One of the most disturbing observations whilst on this field mission 
was while looking for my handbag in the undergrowth close to the 
neighbouring farmer's field. During my search, it was a Gucci Crocodile 
Skin with diamonte clasp (50 ecu reward for its safe return), I was 
curious as to why all the sheep were huddled in the far corner. Later, 
once again obscured by the now empty bean drum, I overheard some cubs 
being told that they were to assemble in the storm shelter. Once assembled 
they were to receive instructions on the Sheep Shank! This was the 
absolute limit as far as I was concerned as I thought the practice had 
virtually died out apart from some of the remoter parts of the Welsh 
Mountains, the Australian Outback and a recent outbreak in a Greek open 
prison reportedly involving several good looking goats!
The Wide Games you refer to, I believe, culminate in an annual event 
called the Gang Show! I have not been able to witness one of these 
gatherings but I do know there is a considerable amount of cross dressing 
goes on and money changes hands. You might like to get a ticket for your 
next local event and mail me with your findings so I can append it to my 
ever growing body of evidence.
In closing I would encourage you to find out more about this sudo 
military movement so you can help me expose their activities. Can I 
suggest that a good starting point is that you go undercover and drop in 
on your local group and offer to help the leaders. 
By the way you were right about the false names. Most of these are 
taken from the writings of a Mr. Kipling who wrote and sold his stories to 
support his ailing bakery. I might be wrong but I cannot recall the name 
Kevin Benge being mentioned in any of his tomes but then again there 
wasn't much interest in the Bakewell Tart in his day so he did write a lot 
of books.
As a final observation Baden-Powell wrote a very descriptive piece on a 
ritual involving wild boars called Pig Sticking or something similar. This 
was to fill in time, snooker had yet to be invented, between chukka's. 
Later one evening in a moment of inspiration, whilst reclining in the 
hammock on his balcony, Baden-Powell summonsed his house boy to bring him 
a book around which he could base an educational program he had in mind. 
Thank goodness that on his return from the local library, Gupta Singh, had 
brought him the Jungle Book and not the Kamasutra otherwise you and I 
might be on to something really heinous - we must both be grateful to the 
little known Gupta Singh for that!
Keep up the good work Nick.
Regards

Martin E. Kenny 
Former advisor to the late, great Erik Honneker and currently living 
with his former Chef du Camp, Akela (real name Sandy) of, 1st. Flackwell 
Heath, Cherokee Cubs Platoon, Marlow Division. 
P.S. The ball gown has been renovated and is now available for hire for 
Jamborees etc.