Barcelona

This is the story of 7 friends who went to Barcelona for a stag weekend in May 2006.

L TO R - Kip, Simon, Dave, Mark, Bob, Tim & Chris (AKA The Magnificent 7).

Click Pictures For Full Size.

We decided in advance that the stag do should be a social occasion which would include a few drinks, some sightseeing and hopefully a trip to the Nou Camp to see Barcelona play. The date of the trip was organised for Saturday May 6th, departing from Liverpool airport at 5.45pm and returning home on the morning of Monday May 8th. Three days prior to departure, Barcelona brought their local derby game with Espanyol forward one day so that kick off would now be at 7.00pm (UK Time) on the Saturday night instead of the Sunday afternoon kick off that it was initially arranged for. This caused an almighty panic as we had to pay an extra £86 each to swap the flights to a Saturday morning departure and bearing in mind that Bob had already shelled out close to £800 for the tickets that were allegedly being sent to the hotel by the ticket agency (who were based in Hungary!). We all met at the airport at 6.00am on the 6th and were introduced to each other as we hadn't met Dave or Simon before.

We had our first beer at 6.45am in the departure lounge and then boarded the Boeing 737-700 in preparation for flight number EZY7203 to take off. Bob received a polite bollocking from the cabin crew as he wasn't paying attention during the pre-flight briefing!. After a 25 minute delay we took off and landed in Barcelona 2hrs later. The presenter of Sky Sports Spanish Football, Guillem Balague was also on our flight, and he was convinced Ronaldinho wouldn't play as they were going to rest him for the Champions League final against Arsenal on May 17th. This was something that me and the lads didn't want to hear.

The trip from the airport to the hotel was eventful to say the least. At one point the speedometer read 150kmph, and I thought the weekend was going to be over before it had even began. We arrived at the Hotel Oriente and left our holdalls in the worlds biggest luggage space, and Bob asked the receptionist if any football tickets had been delivered, to which the answer was no. We came out of our hotel which was situated on La Ramblas a little peeved about the tickets, walked across the road, turned right and walked 10 yards and sat down to have our first Barca Bevvy of the weekend. The waitress brought out these huge 1 litre vases full of the lovely amber fluid, so it was apt that these would later be referred to during the weekend as "Large Ones", even though Bob managed to convince me that the first round had cost €320!.

Our Hotel Up La Ramblas Down La Ramblas "Large One"

We had a couple more beers and moved to an Irish pub called Flahertys where we had something to eat, even though they managed to get a couple of the meals wrong. It was there that we saw an Asian guy carrying two large pieces of wood, I shouted out "Look at the size of those chopsticks" which made everyone laugh. We then made our way down to the harbour where we had a large one in what can only be described as a hurricane force wind, it was that strong that Kips waxed hair was in danger of losing its hold!. There was a huge yacht moored in the harbour called Ultima III, and I've since found out that it is owned by Ron Perelman, the billionaire investor with stakes in Revlon (Research) and Marvel Comics (Research). It prompted Chris to recall several stories from his days in the Navy, so everytime he started to tell one, me and the lads said "During The War", and quickly christened him Uncle Albert, of only fools and horses fame!.

The afternoon was passing by nicely and everytime we stopped for a beer, the subject of tickets came up, which after a while started to get everyone down. We decided to make our way back to the hotel to check if they had arrived, by the time we arrived it was 5.30pm. The receptionist checked the pigeon holes and handed Bob a white envelope, everyone screamed, cheered and we all hugged each other shouting "Yes" at the top of our voices. God knows what the other guests in the foyer thought, but it felt like we had won the lottery!!, and the great weight of worry on everyone's mind disappeared in an instant. The ticket agency had also put some small Barcelona pin badges in with the tickets (see logo at the top of the page), which we all wore to the game.

We left the hotel and made our way to the nearest metro stop to our hotel which was called Liceu. We all paid €6.65 for our metro tickets even though the electronic ticket machine refused to accept any of Simons 30 major credit cards that he had brought with him!. We left the metro at Les Corts and proceeded to walk the short distance to the ground. We passed a Spanish chemist with the words "13 Hores" on it so I took a picture to show the wives/girlfriends back home and tell them it was a nightclub we went to!. Kip pointed out that we would first see the left hand side of the ground and when it came into view, it looked big from quite a way away. We had a couple of small beers in a pub nearer the ground, which incidentally was the cheapest drinks all weekend which was a surprise.

Nightclub!! First View Side View Bloody Hell!!

After Bob had managed to sell his spare ticket for €70, we all grabbed a hot dog from the nearest hogey wagon and made our way to the access ramp to enable us to get to our seats. The first view of the stadium from inside was enough to make us all go wow!. We took some pics and made our way to our seats. Espanyol emerged from the tunnel to a load of booing from the home fans, but these soon turned to cheers once Barca appeared along with Ronaldinho!. It was an unbelievable experience just being in a stadium that size. One row in front of us to the right there were 3 Spaniards who chanted all through the game and banged on the plexiglass panels behind our seats, one of them got up and asked if we were English as he told us he was half English, we asked him where he was from, he replied "Newcastle, H'way the lads". This made us laugh loads and he was christened the real Julio Geordio!. The game ended 2-0 to Barcelona with Ronaldinho scoring the second at the end that we were at. Unfortunately Bob & Dave missed the goal as they were at the bar getting the beers in!. Barca were then presented with the Spanish La Liga trophy as they had won the league 3 nights earlier with a 1-0 victory away at Celta Vigo. All the stadium lights went out as a boy band sang the Barca Hymn "Cant Del Barca" and a group played another piece before the team re-appeared from the tunnel to start their lap of honour. There were ticka tape cannons and camera flashes going off all over the place as the team paraded the trophy for the fans. We left shortly afterwards as one of the best firework displays that I have ever seen started.

Julio Geordio! Group Hug Champions Parade Lap

We made our way back to the metro (Eventually) amid the sounds of so many car and moped horns that were obviously having a bad affect on Kips ears and head!. Once we were packed onto the metro for the return trip it was like being a sardine in a tin, we then got back to La Ramblas where we all decided to go for an Indian, we made our way upstairs in the restaurant and sat down. The floor was like an ice rink and the people on the far side of the table were convinced they were sliding backwards. We were then faced with the dilemma of how much naan bread and how much rice to order!!. Once this had been taken care of we ate our meal which was really nice, Simon then produced his party piece of doing a trick with a spoon which had everyone in fits of laughter!.

We then made our way out of the restaurant down the street and all of a sudden this dark transvestite approached Dave, lifted its top and tried to force his mouth onto its nipple, then backed him to a wall and fondled his groin!!, all of a sudden about half a dozen more old birds appeared around us and I just shouted "Lads, Pockets!!", and told the one who tried to get a grip of me to politely go away, or words to that effect. Three of the boys decided to retire to bed at 1am, and the remaining four ordered a beer from opposite the hotel. The waiter then brought out 4 large ones which 3 of us drank, but Kip wasn't having any of his as it wasn't in a small enough glass!. We drank up, had countless offers to buy each other a rose, Kip poured his beer down the drain and we went to bed at about 2am.

Kip & Chris Tim & Simon Dave & Bob Bob & Mark

The next morning after breakfast we decided to go and see the Goudi building as it is one of Barcelona's most popular tourist attractions. On the metro, Kip found himself sat next to an old lady with a neck brace on. I managed to sneak a pic of the happy couple together and we kept telling him that he must have got her out of the bargain bucket. We arrived at Sagrada Familla and walked up the steps into the baking sunshine. The Goudi building was awesome and is due to be completed in 2025 after approximately 400 years of construction. We then spotted 2 more girls who were wearing neck braces as well, and Kip insisted on being snapped with them as well as he was on his "spinal damage due to excessive neck muscle work" tour. We then split up for lunch and the healthy ones among us opted for an all you can eat salad bar while the other boys hit Pizza Hut.

We then decided to split into two groups, with me, Kip, Tim & Chris making our way back to the Nou Camp to do the stadium tour and Bob, Dave & Simon were going to get some more drinking practice in to keep up with us bigger drinkers!!. We arrived at the stadium only for a security guard to politely tell Kip that it was closing, even though we had asked a guy in a shop before we left the others if they did stadium tours on a Sunday, only to be told "Yes", nothing was mentioned about opening and closing hours. We then made our way back to the metro collecting pieces of red and blue ticka tape which had blown out of the stadium the night before as a souvenir of the game. We had one more beer in a small pub while watching the European F1 GP from Germany and then the fun started!.

We looked all over for a sports shop to buy some Barcelona shirts to bring back for our sons at home. We found a shop but the thick assistant kept bringing out the wrong sizes which got me and Kip very frustrated to say the least, in the end we all walked out and decided to go back to the Nike shop near the Goudi Building as we didn't want to come home empty handed. Just then I spotted another sports shop just across the road from the metro station near the hotel and we all got sorted in there which was a relief. We then finished the rest of our shopping and walked back down La Ramblas where all the street performers and pavement artists were, and joined back up with the other lads in Flahertys as the last premiership games of the 2005/2006 season were well under way. Dave had almost got down to the wood of his nails as Spurs had to beat West Ham to finish above Arsenal. The little fella had obviously had too much beer in the time we had been apart and we decided to teach him a lesson by slipping a vodka in his beer to try and keep him quiet. Kip went to the bar and ordered a double neat vodka to go in his pint, and when the measure was passed to us it looked like a half pint of water, of which three quarters of it went into his glass!. Dave came back from the toilets and picked up his pint and immediately said "Who's put vodka in this?", we all looked confused and took turns smelling his drink and we all said it was fine!. Dave then grabbed Bobs pint and said "You drink it then!", we all tried it and said ours was the same and passed it back to Dave for him to finish!.

We had three more drinks in there and made our way back to the hotel to freshen up before hitting the town for our last night. I was getting washed when I heard a hell of a commotion coming from the room next door where Bob, Dave & Simon were. I put my head round the door only to find the bed lying ninety degrees adjacent to the window with Bob & Simon wrestling on it, I jumped across as Dave was on the balcony talking to someone across the street. I joined him out there to see him chatting to a balcony full of French girls who asked us for a song. I went back to my room to get the camera, hurdled the bed and my trailing size 12 right foot caught Simon smack in the eye!. I apologised profusely and got the camera and took a pic of the girls as the four of us belted out God Save The Queen at the top of our voices. This then disturbed someone three floors up in the flat adjacent to Bob's across the small street, we asked them where they were from, "Albania", they replied. I then asked how many occupants were in the room?, "A lorry load", was my answer to my own question, which made us all laugh. I then went back into the room and Dave said "Mark, I want a fight with you", I took a step back due to the shock of this statement. Dave then insisted it should only be a wrestling match and would I please remove my glasses, keys and any loose change from my pockets. All of a sudden the other lads lost interest in the pretty French girls on the balcony and decided to watch the Barcelona version of Gladiators. Dave grabbed me by the shirt and I got him round the waist and put him on the floor and got him in a bear hug and started to squeeze gently. You could hear him squeal like a little piggy and I kept shouting "Submit", but Dave was having none of it. This must have gone on for a full three or four minutes and all I can remember is hearing Bob piss himself laughing as he was sat on the bed next to us, even when the squeeze was tightened Dave wouldn't give in. He then told me to pick him up, which I did above my head and slammed him down onto Bobs bed, which made us all laugh. Dave then decided it was time to shave a small gap in one of Bobs eyebrows as a reminder of our trip.

Romeo & Juliet! Goudi French Girls Pavement Art

After a quick swill we made our way out of the hotel and down La Ramblas. One particular pavement artist stood out from all the others as he was dressed as the devil and he looked brilliant, we all had our picture took with him and he turned out to be an Irish lad who was really funny and had a different pose for each of the photos I took. We all had a really nice meal and a few more beers, with Kip opting for the French classic "Steak Elastique", as it went back to the kitchen more times than the waiter as it wasn't cooked enough!. Dave then wanted to start a fight with Kip, and Kip suggested if Dave wanted a battle he should just walk into Flahertys and hit the first person he saw, that ought to do it. Needless to say, Dave resisted the offer!.

We left the restaurant and made our way back up La Ramblas where Dave got accosted again due to his youthful good looks by one of the local hookers who offered to do allsorts of things to him for €20. I told her that Tim would do it for €10 to which she just laughed. A couple more beers followed and we walked to the Christopher Columbus statue where Dave & Simon rode the lions and Dave tried to climb the bloody statue itself!. We ended up in another Irish pub which had one of the biggest choices of spirits I've ever seen. We met a group of girls who were on their hen weekend, and the Bride (Sarah), was getting married on the same day and at the same time as Bob & Helen (June 2nd 2006 @1.00pm), coincidence or what!. It was a great pub as it sold my favourite lager Fosters, and one of my lasting memories of the place is of me & Chris singing Teenage Kicks by the Undertones at the top of our voices!. We got thrown out of there at 2.30am and heard of a local club round the corner, we all went there and the queue was too big, but Dave insisted on staying and seeing if he could get in (which he eventually did!). The remaining four of the group then went on a mini half marathon walk which resulted in us getting lost and only getting back to the hotel at 4.30am!.

Kip & The Devil Rocky Yeeeharrrrr Drink Anyone?

We all got to bed rather later that night and were up at 7.30am so we could get to the airport and catch the flight home. I'd just like to say a personal "Thank You", firstly to Bob for asking me to go on the trip and secondly to all the lads, Thanks for making it a weekend that I will remember for a very long time. And finally, I'd like to wish Bob & Helen all the very best for their future happiness together and I just wonder if stag weekends have anniversaries like weddings do???.

For Mum - August 8th 1939 - July 20th 2006.