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| Chapter 3 - Waiting |
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The suddenness of the diagnosis of Max's leukaemia created its own shock, but long drawn out diagnoses are no less traumatic. In these cases the parents know there is ‘something-wrong’and this may continue for some time because the family doctor does not realise the significance of the symptoms. I do not believe that this is due to the ‘doctors nowadays don't know anything’ syndrome. How many cases of childhood cancer does the average doctor see? Very few, if any, and the symptoms are usually non specific. The doctor continues to try and reassure the parents and in most cases is correct and the symptoms disappear. On rare occasions the symptoms continue for months before the final referral and diagnosis. | ||||||
I suspected that these parents were not as shell shocked as those who experience a sudden onset of the disease because in their heart of hearts they know that their child is seriously ill and have subconsciously prepared themselves. For a long time I believed that sudden diagnosis was far worse than a delayed diagnosis. I no longer believe that to be the case because each type of diagnosis has its own hurt as we were to discover while waiting for the diagnosis for Max’s tumour. | ||||||
With many parents there is also a terrible guilt that they should have done more to get an earlier diagnosis. In many cancers, however, an early diagnosis makes no difference. Cancer is cancer and an early diagnosis often does not change either the treatment or the eventual outcome. | ||||||
There was no sudden and immediate diagnosis of Max’s second cancer. | ||||||
Max complained of itching and occasional pain in his perineum. This is the area between the testes and the anus. Sara became very concerned. His symptoms were not regarded as pertinent by everyone informed of her concerns. The Royal Marsden Hospital did not expect a tumour. Sara persisted against scepticism from everyone and eventually obtained a consultation for Max with a testicular cancer specialist. | ||||||
I went to the consultation fairly relaxed. I had read a lot about leukaemia and thought, like the doctors, that Max’s symptoms could not be a relapse of his leukaemia. In a sense I was correct. | ||||||
Sara was very nervous about the consultation. Max lay on the examination table and was examined. Our Royal Marsden consultant who had arranged the consultation also attended Max’s examination. The specialist looked at Max for a couple of minutes and then asked our consultant to also examine Max. As the specialist walked away from the table he told me quietly that Max’s cancer had returned. Sara, meanwhile, was joking with Max and our consultant. She turned and cracked a joke with me. I did not know what to do. I turned away and stared out of a window almost in tears.
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