Chapter 4 - Treatment

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Great Accountant – “Hmm, this is most irregular, but I do see your point. In the long run it makes no difference. OK. I’ll make this an exception. But you must tell no-one. I can't have this as a precedent. Who knows where it would lead? Chaos no doubt. I mean you’d get parents asking if their child will have a healthy life before it’s even conceived. I can't be having that. Too much to do. The bureaucracy would be a nightmare. Here, toss this coin.”

A gold coin falls from the sky.

Me – “Me?”

Great Accountant – “Of course, you have to do some of the work.”

I catch the coin and then flip and it spins for two eternities.

Me – “Heads.”

It lands tails up.

That is what 50% feels like.

Living with percentages over the long term is not easy, but then no-one said it would be.

We went for Max's third check up. He was clear. For leukaemia. It was hard not to feel elated. I started to drop my guard. The wall built to protect me against him dying started to crumble. It looked like we might do it. We might cheat the odds. This was beating the system. It was brilliant. After the many times we had been flung further into the maelstrom it looked as if we might be able to start to relax and stop worrying about a relapse.

Max was diagnosed with his second cancer two months later.

These percentages are like infinity. They are theoretical and are very difficult to grasp. I remember introducing Max to infinity when he was seven. He was truly amazed and it took a while him to understand the concept.

“Dad, What's the biggest number?”

“There isn't one, it just goes on and on.”

“No, there must be a ‘biggest number’.'”

“No, think about it. If you have a number and add one then you get another number.”

37

Copyright © 2001

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