Chapter 4 - Treatment

29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43

Home

In the case above the consultant was trying to let us into the truth about Max’s illness. It was not palatable and we were not ready to hear it. He was telling us that there was not really any hope. He did this not as a cold and remote ill-thought out statement but because he cared. He did not want us living on empty hopes. His words fell on stony ground. We could only cope with the cancer of the moment.

In our case we wanted to know as much as possible about the illness and what was happening at the time. I found it helpful to know the degree of uncertainty. I wanted to know if the consultants did not know. It helped me judge where we really stood. They realised this and told us of their uncertainties. It helped in our case. This is by no means the norm. Each case has to be judged on its circumstances. Not all families want or are capable of dealing with the detail.

There is a very real problem for doctors and nurses who are on the front-line of primary cancer care. They can suffer ‘burn-out’. There is only so much emotional barrage that any person can take before it starts to affect them. I was constantly amazed at the patience and care shown by the nurses who display an immense strength and love.

There was one nurse who gave Max and us as a family very special attention during Max’s leukaemia. The love which she gave to us and others was totally unconditional and selfless. She gave herself completely to the families under her care.

I was amazed that someone could give so freely and ask nothing in return. I asked her one day how she managed to keep going. She told me that if she gave the children 110% then they would always return her love with 150%. It was this that kept her in the job for so long and made the job so fulfilling.

During Max’s second cancer she decided to leave childhood cancer nursing after twenty years. She had found that she was no longer able to dissociate herself from the emotional pain and her close personal involvement with these children was starting to affect her.

She visited Max in hospital and gave him a big hug. He had been in much pain and at that time would not even let us near him but he had a special relationship with our nurse. She asked if he was angry and he said that he was. She told him that it was alright to feel angry. This was the first time he had spoken openly about his feelings regarding his illness and it also showed quite how in tune she was with the children who had been under her care.

She gave Max her address and telephone number and he did likewise. I was so pleased that she did this. She knew Max’s prognosis and the likely outcome of his illness. Despite this and the fact that she was leaving nursing she still offered her details and told him that he could ring her at any time or send her a letter. Selflessly, she yet again offered herself to this child despite her own needs to escape childhood cancer.

42

Copyright © 2001

Click here if you would like details of how to buy a copy of the book