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| Chapter 5 - Freedom |
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Max was injected with antibiotics and later, after his condition had stabilised, the examining nurse asked me how I knew that there had been a problem. I told her that a parent just knows. |
In fairness, it’s not always like that. I made a similar diagnosis on another occasion and was completely wrong. |
Max woke in the middle of the night during his treatment for his second cancer and was oblivious to his surroundings. |
“Daddy, why have we changed wards? I don't remember moving beds.” |
“We haven't changed beds, Maxie, it’s the same bed you were in when you went to sleep.” |
He looked alarmed. |
“What's happening to the walls, why are they moving? Who are all those people watching me? Why are we in a cave Daddy? I want to be back in the hospital.” |
“No Maxie, we are still in the hospital. Look, this is the curtain round your bed.” |
At this stage my major worry was that disease had reached his brain. Max already had cancer in the spine and it would be a major complication if it spread to his brain. I had visions of his impending death. I did not want to see my son dying as a vegetable. |
This is frightening. You sit there probing your son’s hallucination and wondering if this is an indication of the next thunderbolt. So many thoughts race through your mind as you try to comprehend the symptoms and their implications. |
I rushed out of the ward breathless and panicking and ran headlong into the standby registrar. He was young and I did not know him. Neither of these factors helped. He looked at me as if I was demented (which was not a bad assessment!) He examined Max and said that he just had a fever. This helped not one jot. I had been right too many times in the past. I drank coffee through the night and watched Max like a hawk. He was fine the following day. I was a physical and emotional wreck. |
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