Chapter 9 - Memories of Max

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“Max, you must wash down with the swills when we do your mouth.”

“Why? I've done the brushing, surely that's enough. At least I'm doing it. I don’t like the taste of the stuff I have to use for washing it all down. I wasn’t doing it at all before so surely this is better. I just don’t want to wash it down.”

“Do you know why you need to take the swills?”

“Yes, I will get a sore mouth if I don’t.”

“That's right, but do you realise how sore? Have you seen how sore Pedro is?”

The child in question had also refused to take the swills. It was the first time that I had seen a child with severe mouth infections and I was horrified at what I saw. He had an abscess on his lip and the inside of his mouth was a mass of white pustulous sores. He had a lot of difficulty in eating which then led to further problems. We did not need any further complications.

Max had seen Pedro’s abscess and took note.

“OK, I’ll do it.” And he did.

It took us a while to realise that Max needed total honesty. Parents have an innate need to shield their child. In balance, the child needs to understand why these unpleasant procedures exist and how they can affect their lives. Both parents and child start treatment with reference to the world which they have just left. It is only natural because they have no other. Slowly you realise that the treated child is no longer the child that you had before treatment. You, as parents, are also no longer the same people. The frames of reference change, as they have to.

The battles continued but to a lesser degree. One argument stands out in my memory. We were at the hospital and Max woke and had an explosive tantrum because I had not got him a drink. He screamed and shouted at me but I had no idea what he was talking about. I was very tired and could take no more. I too exploded because I did not know why he was shouting at me. In the morning and out of the blue after a very bad night for both of us had come this unexplained eruption. I lost my temper and shouted back that he had no right to treat me like this. I was doing everything in my power to help him and the only thanks I got was a temper tantrum for a request which had never been made.

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