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| Chapter 9 - Memories of Max |
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"If the Chemo is working then why do I feel so ill. I don't feel any better. I'm getting so thin now and I don't like it. I don't want people to see me like this." |
He had lost three kilograms or just over 10% of his weight in four weeks and was looking very skeletal. Earlier in the week he had managed to walk about a hundred yards. Now he was too weak to even get out of bed. |
"You are feeling so ill because although the Chemo is working on your tumour, it also affects the rest of your body. It is the Chemo that is making you feel so sick and not the cancer. I know that doesn't really help and I can't take away the sickness, but you must realise that things are improving. One thing that is very important is that you keep drinking. It helps flush the Chemo through your body. As far as looking thin is concerned, I don't think people know. If you are wearing a thick jumper then they will not notice." |
He nodded morosely and said that he would try to drink more. |
Later he started to talk to Sara about how he felt about himself and the illness. |
"Mummy, I am trying to get better. I prayed for myself because I thought that it might help." |
"Max, we've got people all over the world praying for you. Your praying and their praying does help." |
"No, their praying doesn't count because they don't know what it is like to be me." |
There is no answer to this statement. |
Max was on standard chemotherapy at this stage. We worried about what would happen when he went on to the experimental intensive treatment |
Later that evening Max asked for a Chinese meal. It was a definite improvement for him to be asking for food. We decided to have a family picnic in his room. We laid the rug out and Sara prepared the food and side dishes. He loved the meal but then promptly threw up. We cleaned him down and asked him if he could eat the rest. He said yes and on starting to eat, threw up again. At that point we suggested that eating might not be such a good idea. The rest of us finished our meal but he was much happier having participated in this strange little feast. |
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