Chapter 11 - Terminal

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They could do nothing and just relieve the pain with painkillers.

They could give palliative chemotherapy which is designed to dampen down the disease and help relieve the pain.

They could do all of the above and also give palliative radiotherapy which is designed to also reduce pain but have no curative objective.

We could try experimental treatment.

I asked if there was any chance of cure with experimental treatment. Although there had been long term survivors with the experimental treatments, these were cases where it was possible to consolidate the treatment with further chemotherapy and radiation. All these cases had particular features which did not apply to Max.

We asked how long Max had to live. We were told that Max might live for a number of months if we were very lucky. I doubted it. The tumour seemed to be growing at a phenomenal speed. I had watched this cancer grow initially. It was vicious and aggressive. We had watched the cancer recede under the onslaught of phenomenally intensive chemotherapy. It was back again. There was little more that his body was capable of taking with respect to the illness, let alone the possibility of finding drugs which could be used against this onslaught and his ability to cope with further treatment.

At the time of the Consultation I opted for the palliative chemotherapy and pain relief but said nothing. Sara did the same. Sara and I discussed the options once we returned home. Again we were glad that we had both come to the same conclusion. We told the hospital our decision a couple of days later

There is a reaction to being told that your child is terminal which is known as 'Doctor Shopping'. This is where parents refuse to come to terms with the news of the impending death of their child and decide to search for treatment at any cost. We decided after Max's first cancer that this would not be the route that we would take. This is easy to say but very difficult to actually comprehend and do. It takes strength and trust. The trust comes from believing that you have had the best treatment available and that you agree with the prognosis you have been given. The strength comes from accepting the terrible fact that your child will die and that in the cold light of day, it is in the best interests of all concerned that you let nature take its course. Doctor Shopping, although usually done in the name of the child, is often done for the benefit of the parents.

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