Chapter 12 - The End
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Sara rushed out of the room hoping that she hadn't been spotted. There were shrieks from Max. He called us both.

Sara was in her night clothes and pretended that she'd come down to see Max and Paula because she'd heard his calls. I couldn't come into the bedroom fully clothed because he'd know that I hadn't gone to bed. I quickly stripped outside the door and draped a towel around myself.

"Mummy, Daddy, I was awake all the time and suddenly the presents were there. I was staying awake to see Santa but I never even saw him. The presents appeared like magic. How does he do that? Why didn't I see him?"

He was chattering fifteen to the dozen and was so excited. We let him open a couple of presents and then calmed him down and we all went to bed. It meant so much to us that the innocence of our son had been kept intact. He would die with that little childhood belief preserved.

We had a fantastic Christmas Day. The biggest Christmas present for Sara and me was to enjoy the day with Max. It was almost more than we could have asked and yet this time we had been granted our wish and we were very grateful.

On January 1st Max suddenly sank like a stone. I was due to take him to the Royal Marsden Hospital for radiotherapy but we did not think he could cope with the thirty minute journey to the hospital. I was convinced that we should no longer continue going to the hospital after this radical and sudden deterioration. I rang the Royal Marsden and explained my concerns and a Terminal Children's nurse came to see us later that evening.

She examined Max and then sat us down to deliver her verdict.

"Max has taken a considerable turn for the worse. I think that there is no point in giving any more radiotherapy or medication. It is not fair on Max that he should make the journey to the hospital and I also don't think that he is capable of making this journey. Our prime aim is to keep the pain under control and to give the best quality of life possible under the circumstances."

"When do you think he will die?"

We had asked this question so many times. When your child is diagnosed as terminal the percentages question is replaced by 'When?." Up till now there had been no answer because there was no way of providing an accurate answer
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