Memories of Max - A Father's Story

Chapter 12 - The End

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She explained that you could not have both but that he could have a cremation and memorial stone. He liked that idea.

"If you want I can make you a pot which we can put the ashes in. You could design the outside if you want to."

"Oh yes, we could have Sonic and Tails and lots of Chinese things. That's a good idea."

And so it was. He drew and coloured the pictures for his Urn which was designed, built and fired by Sara. It sits in Sara's kitchen as Max wanted.

Max's mischievous sense of humour surfaced when Sara discussed with him what sort of message he wanted embroidered on his coffin cloth. We asked him if he wanted to leave any messages to everyone. His impish sense of humour came through. He chose two messages -

'To infinity and beyond'. This was the catch phrase of Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Max thought this was very funny. He didn't know where he was going but he loved the idea of infinity and this catch-phrase seemed appropriate.

The second message was 'That's all Folks'. This is the sign off shown at the end of the Warner Brothers cartoons. This too seemed to sum it all up for him. He loved the irony.

A large funeral car arrived outside our terraced house and Sara, Paula and I went to the crematorium together with Max's best friend and his mother. Again it seemed so unreal. Were we really going to our son's funeral? Yes, but the reality had not sunk home. We were quietly numb.

I felt as if I was acting in a scene from a film. The hearse drew up at the crematorium and waited. We all got out and wondered why there was a delay. About fifty metres away a crowd also waited for the funeral. We became an awkward centre of attention.

Max's best friend from the hospital ran up to me.

"Allan, why did he have to die. ? Why? It's just not fair. He was my best friend. Allan, why aren't you crying, don't you care?"

I had become very close to this little boy and spent many hours playing with him and Max. What could I say? If I had answered truthfully I would have fallen apart at the seams. I said nothing and cuddled the sobbing child.

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