Dog Chauffeur

April 3rd 2000 - DOG CHAUFFEUR

I've got a new job as chauffeur to Charley, Hollywood's biggest dog actor. It's my job to ferry Charley from acting gig to acting gig, and also give him dinner.

Charley is quite a nice dog, but sometimes I'm not quite sure I understand what he wants.

Last night I was taking him out to a restaurant when he started scratching the glass partition in the limo. I thought he wanted me to drive faster, but it turns out he actually wanted the toilet. Boy, my job sucks.

April 4th 2000 - DOG CHAUFFEUR

It's a lot of fun being dog chauffeur to Charley, Hollywood's biggest dog actor. Unfortunately, Charley is a demanding employer. Last night for example, he was due to attend The Dog Actor Awards ceremony, where he was due to pick up an award for his role in a bathroom cleaner commercial.

We were halfway there when Charley started going mad in the back of the limo, spinning around and chasing his tail. I tried to stop him by grasping his tail very hard, and yanking down on it, but he turned around and bit my wrist really hard.

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