Man-erisms

Long-chinned Gubbins

THE MAN'S SONGS

If you were reading Digi in March '99, you'll be aware that one of The Man's careers was as a professional R'n'B songwriter. He's done stuff for all the greats, man! He's already worked with artists "as diverse as Shania Twain and that woman who used to be Beth in Neighbours". New songs especially written for pop whores Steps and "Billie" will surely guaruntee him a hit or two. Here's what he's come up with so far...

"Love Gets Up My Nose"

Love gets up my nose,

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Love gets up my nose,

Uh-huh, oh-yeah-ah,

L-l-l-la-la-la-la-love plus one.

Love is all around me.

It's even up my nose.

"Sunny Holiday"

Stinking cesspool vengeance,

A bleeding heart corrupted by hate,

Dynamic threat evidence of disease ,

Motorcycles underline the greed,

A boy cries against a wall.

CHORUS

It's a happy, happy, sunny holiday,

Dance! Sing! Shout-Hooray!

"Young Fun (Go For It)"

Destruction creates a vacuum,

A black hole of social degradation,

A crown of thorns for a proxy king,

Who holds bitter hands against a bitter wind.

CHORUS

Let's Go! Young Fun!

Go For It! Yeah!

"My Heart Is In Bloom"

A ship sinks in the sea,

What can that mean?

A metaphor for society's decline?

Or just a tragic accident?

WHERE WERE THE LIFEBOATS?

CHORUS

My heart is in bloom!

It-a make-a me go boom!

"Rock 'n' Roll Rebel"

My powerdrill is perfect,

For drilling holes in walls,

I then fit several rawlplugs,

Which allow me to insert screws.

I affix a shelf to the screws,

And display my model buses on it

CHORUS

I'm a rock 'n' roll rebel,

But I won't do that!

Do you have any Man stuf? Do you know any of the much-sought-after Man's Daddy Jokes? If you do mail me with it right now, man.

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