Man-erisms

Long-chinned Gubbins

It may not have occurred to anyone before now, but the Man thinks about stuff. He has opinions. Granted, they're mainly on rather obscure/stupid subjects, but you can't fault him for that. At least he considers the world around him in some way. The following lists show his strange trains of thought as they speed through the Station Of Consciousness, manifesting themselves in ten conscise points about whatever rubbish he happened to have on his mind at the time...

TEN LINES CUT FROM THE PHANTOM MENACE

1 "Where's the toilet on this thing?"

2 "Darth Vader? Here? In my bed?"

3 "Sorry, Jabba. I thought that was your mouth."

4 "Why did you have to drop our guns in that pot of cooking oil? I can't keep hold of mine now."

5 "But I'm not wearing any trousers."

6 "Curse this space arthritis!"

7 "I bet I can run through that solid brick wall."

8 "If you're a Jedi, why are you wearing that Radiohead T-shirt?"

9 "I bet this never happened to Flash Gordon."

10 "Stop it. I'm really drunk."

TEN REASONS WHY VAMPIRES ARE RUBBISH

1 They have no reflection, hence they must take a chance on their hair.

2 They are unable to eat Chicken Kiev.

3 One silver bullet can kill them. No, wait that's hunchbacks, or something...

4 They can turn into bats. So what? Humans can sunbathe.

5 They think crosses are scary.

6 They're also too scared to step over running water or something... what?

7 Their main method of attack is to bite someone.

8 Vampires are stupid.

9 And they probably stink.

10 Stupid idiots.

Do you have any Man stuf? Do you know any of the much-sought-after Man's Daddy Jokes? If you do mail me with it right now, man.

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