Test Pilot

February 21st '98 - TEST PILOT

I’ve stopped being a stand - up comedian now. Instead I have a new job as an RAF test pilot, flying experimental aircraft and that. The first aircraft I had to test was a sort of bi-plane that had been covered with cotton wool to make it look like a cloud. The idea is that we’d be able to fly "cloud plane" into enemy territory without them noticing. Unfortunately, the engine exploded upon take - off, and burnt the cotton wool. Now we have no engine and no cotton wool.

February 23rd '98 - TEST PILOT

I’ve been flying an experimental new aircraft developed by a bunch of clowns. Of course, they’re only clowns at the weekend - the rest of the time they’re engineers for British Aerospace. However I’ve become concerned that they can’t leave their slapstick tendencies behind. As I was climbing into the aircraft yesterday, one of the engineers threw a bucket of shredded paper at me and fell over while another honked a horn at him.

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