Ever been in one of those meetings where you've noticed one or more of the following?:

• The title of the meeting contains the words "review", "strategy" or "forum"
• Every third word has more than 12 letters and every third sentence is redundant.
• The chairperson was more boring than a weekend basket-weaving conference in Redditch..
• Keeping awake was harder than teaching a one-handed gerbil to nail spaghetti onto a balloon.
• You actually started hallucinating.

This game acts as the definitive tool to assist in identifying linguistically challenged managers and to bring back a sense of normality to increasingly bizarre meetings.

The rules are simpler than a lobotomized tv weather girl. Each player chooses one of the playsheets below. The aim of the game is to cross off three words in a straight line on your playsheet, a la tic-tac-toe. Words are crossed off anytime that they are uttered by the presenter of the meeting (derivations also acceptable). Words can only be crossed off once. Each player may only hold one card for the duration of the meeting, and may not change cards once the meeting has started.

Any player who completes a line of the playsheet must immediately stand up and shout out "two-storey family abode!!!" (house). The first player to do so will be considered the winner, however play still continues, and any other player completing a line must follow the same ritual.