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The Tankard

The Saga of the Tankard began at my local when George, one of the regulars went on a visit to the local brewery. He returned full of praise for the product which he had sampled and a glass tankard bearing the Brewery’s logo. Now I can say without fear of contradiction that friend George is a “Mugus Preferus” a person more concerned with what he’s seen drinking from than what he is actually drinks. There are several peculiar people who have their Cherished Chalices behind the bar ranging from pewter tankards to silly seaside souvenirs.

I on the other hand have no preference for any particular type of drinking vessel but I am bared loyal am brand loyal to locally brewed real ale. Made from 100% Malt and a traditional bled of hops, no added sugar, colouring or preservatives, a noble brew. George took great delight in showing me his new tankard with the breweries logo on it, which just so happened to be that of my preferred potion

At the earliest opportunity I approached the landlord and requested of him to obtain a similar tankard for myself. It was the first time the landlord had been approached with such a request and he said that he would make enquires to the Drayman at the next delivery. The Drayman mad several deliveries without the landlord fulfilling his obligation so I approached the man myself. The Drayman was helpful but said such tankards were collector items and very hard to come by but that he would try on my behalf.

Autumn turned to winter and we endured Tornados, Flash Floods, Snow fall on the first day of spring, a General Election plus Foot and Mouth but there was no sign of “The Tankard”. Friend George was still using his tankard but had long since reverted to form and was drinking the cheapest house bitter. Then in early summer at a time when I had almost given up hope of acquiring the desirable dispenser, the landlord presented me with a tankard engraved with the Brewery’s logo, free gratis and for nothing.

The next day I took the new tankard to a small shop across the other side of town that specialise in engraving sports trophies to have it personalised. The engraver accepted my commission saying it would be ready for collection in “two weeks”

The two weeks passed and I duly returned to collect the tankard but the work told that the work had not been started. I was told it would be given top priority and be ready “in two weeks.”

The two weeks passed and I duly returned to the shop but the work on the project hadn’t commenced, the engraver was on holiday, come back “in two weeks.”

The two weeks passed and I duly returned to the shop and was informed that an attempt to complete the commission had bed made but due to the mode of manufacture the tankard had shattered in the process. A new tankard had been ordered directly from the Brewery and would be inscribed by the Brewery as requested, “come back in two weeks”.

Once again I had almost given up hope of acquiring the elusive tankard. I even considered not bothering to return to collecting it so that the shop would have to stand the cost of the replacement. But after two weeks I made the journey across town and it came to pass that I did collect the tankard from the shop. The manager apologised for any inconvenience caused by the long delay and made no charge.

At the earliest opportunity “The Tankard” was installed behind the bar and pressed into service. Apart from the occasional need to remind the bar staff that still serve me with a public glass, I can now enjoy a pint of true brew in a tankard with the Brewery’s logo on it. There is however still one small problem, even though the tankard is standard issue and supplied by the Brewery it is illegal to use it on licensed premises because it dose not have the ‘Crown Mark” on it.

p.s. Less than a month after collecting the tankard from the shop I happened to be passing the Engravers premises and there was a “Bankruptcy “notice in the window.

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