Untitled Document

What’s Up Doc?

Appointment to see the Doctor I make
It’ relatively quick I only wait a year
I arrive on time not too early not late
Queue at the desk I stand and wait

It’s a notice on the wall I have read
In certain direction my thoughts lead
For appointments missed words in red
The fingers don’t add up in my head

It lists Doctor’s point wasted his time
For the same reason what about mine
Forty minute’s and I’m still sat there
The time I get in I will have grey hair

Time to go in but Doc’s running late
Will miss opening time at this rate
Follow doctor’s orders to the letter
Keep taking the tablets we feel better

Give up smoking and drinking for a bit
You won't live longer, just feel like it
A hand of crib or pool now and then
And tomorrow I will do the same again

***

The notice on the wall by the reception desk (probably put on display by the redeposit not the Doctor) states those 52 hours in missed appointments each month.

My average waiting time per visit is thirty minute’s multiply that by the number of patients (fifteen) each Doctor sees at a single surgery session comes to seven and half-hours.

Each doctor waist thirty hours a morning and the same again in the evening a total of sixty hours a day. 300 hours a week, 1.520 hours a year
“What’s up Doc” you don't look well.

***

Born thirtieth of June thirty nine
Reckon that makes him sixty-four
And a crusty old crab by his star sign
More than my fourteen and two score

As it just so happens by fair chance
But with a time difference of seven
By one my age I can also enhance
And sure good single malt is heaven.

On our birthday and every other day
May the sprit of truth be with you?

***

The above verse I wrote for a friend who has his birthday on the same day as mine.

Events leading up to the 30th June

8th of June loaned friend Brian the Single Malt Whisky Companion

16th of June the book is returned and Rob the landlord asked to order a bottle of Lagavulin

18th of June Rob informed me that it could not be obtained locally and would cost £30 by mail order.

19th of June a local shop called the Wine Rack in Wells High St. said the did stock it but did not have any at that time. Could order one but would not be delivered before 4th July. Too late for the presentation on the 30th but I placed an order for one bottle.

28th June checked one of the local Supermarkets not stocked. Checked a second Supermarket and found an empty Lagavulin box took it to the checkout and paid for a bottle. An assistant was sent to collect the bottle but returned saying someone had gone home with the keys to the lock up and I would get a refund.

Saturday 29th June O7.62 hrs

Return to Tesco Wells found the Lagavulin box and gave it to a staff member and it came to pass that they had found the keys to the lock-up and I finally got my hands on the prize.

Saturday night in the Brit Brian gave me a card and a waistcoat for my birthday which is also on the 30th June. I lead Brian to believe that I had failed to obtain the bottle of Lagavulin saying there was no post on Sundays.

Sunday morning in the RAOB lodge I took the chair and announced to the lodge that it was Brian’s Birthday and gave him the bottle.

The chances of a piece of bread and butter landing butter side down are directly proportional to the cost of the carpet, to the square of the hunger factor.

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