The US Magazine Interview "I'M WORN A LITTLE THIN," Noah Wyle confesses, running a hand through his unkempt hair. He's been up since dawn shooting a grueling episode of ER in which young Dr. Carter single-handedly saves the victims of a chemical-plant explosion. There's a small cut under Wyle's right eye, evidence of a recent trouncing by co-star George Clooney in a heated game of one-on-one. ("Believe me, it kills him," Clooney gloats. "Noah can have the greatest day acting, but if you beat him in basketball, he's depressed all day.") Now, decompressing poolside at a Los Angeles hotel, Wyle orders mint tea. The waiter returns with chamomile, but Wyle says nothing. It's been that kind of week. "I just finished a particularly difficult scene," the 26-year-old actor says. "Carter runs across the cafeteria and dunks a guy's head in ice water to save his life. When it was over, I kind of looked around for somebody to say, you know, 'Nice Job' or 'Good work.' But it's business as usual on the set. They've got to move on. I'm soaking wet, and I've got a cold coming on, and I had a pan of, like 'Jesus, guys, didn't you see what I did all week? I've been running my ass off! You could say something.'" Coming from some stars, such a story might sound like your stereotypical Hollywood 'me-me-me' refrain. from Wyle, though, it comes across as self-deprecating, sort of touching, even funny. It captures the Noah Wyle-ness of Noah Wyle: that world-weary but naive, cocky but neurotic, self-absorbed but sweet quality he manages to project both onscreen and in person. It shows an actor who, like the intern he has played for four years, is sure of his talent, if a little unsure of himself and hungry for approval. Says J. P. Manoux, an actor who has been one of Wyle's best friends since high school, ‚Noah may be insecure about some things, hut he's always had people tell him he's good - because he's always been good." A true child of Hollywood, Wyle, the middle of three kids, saw his parents divorce when he was 6. A year later, his mother, a nurse, married Jim Katz, a film restorer with three children of his own. Having grown up in a home where actors like Mandy Patinkin, Tab Hunter and Divine were frequent guests, Wyle got the thespian bug himself after starring at age 13 as a 65-year-old man in a high-school production of Joe Orton's Loot. Skipping college, he worked as a waiter while scrounging for small movie roles - most notably, as a Marine in A Few Good Men and a teenage Nazi boxer in Swing Kids. In 1994, virtually broke, Wyle grudgingly auditioned for his first TV project, a medical drama called ER. Assuming the show would be canceled after seven episodes, he signed on for five years. "Even well before ER, I think Noah knew his turn would come," says Manoux. "But it was a big decision for him to do television, because he really wanted to be a Johnny Depp or a River Phoenix." As the show became a phenomenon, Wyle relied on his more experienced co-stars to help him adjust to the onrushing fame. "I think Noah and I had great benefits being very close friends from the beginning," says Clooney. "I could keep him relaxed through the whole first-year run, not let it burn him. And then I could just watch the way he worked and steal things from him, because he's innately the smartest actor I know." Conventional wisdom might have charted Wyle's smartest route to movie stardom via a middle-of-the-road romantic comedy. But last year, Wyle passed on a slew of such Friends-friendly projects to play a tortured black sheep of an angst-ridden family in the independent film The Myth of Fingerprints. "Noah didn't pick an easy role," says co-star Roy Scheider. "It was a very emotional part, with one crisis after another. He picked something that would stretch him as an actor. I thought his attitude was really healthy." Though the film barely left fingerprints at the box office, it was an undeniable boon to Wyle's personal life. On the very first day of the shoot, he became smitten ,with the movie's head makeup artist, Tracy Warbin. The two began dating, and when the film wrapped, Warbin, 29, uprooted her New York-based life and moved into Wyle's L.A. home, which they share with four cats and three dogs. "It's not like Noah had these wild years and now he's mellowing out," says Manoux. "But he is settling down. He's very much in love with Tracy, and they've made a nice domestic life that I don't think is about to change any time soon." Still, while romantically more stable than ever, Wyle will face an uncertain future ,when it comes time to be discharged from ER. (All of the original stars except Clooney have added a year to their contract - though how long they stick around could be influenced by NBC's recent $I3 million-per-episode commitment to its top-rated show.) ,We're all afraid of [leaving ER]," admits Clooney. "Is this the end?' ,Am I going to blow it?' You can't predict anything. But I believe Noah will be a great film star as well as a great TV star. You've got to remember he's 26. Everything for Noah Wyle is still to come." With two seasons left on your 'ER' contract, do you feel as if you're just running out the clock? No, it's still fun. It only drags when you feel like you're hitting the same notes over and over again. For four years I've been the comic relief. [In every episode] I usually either fall down or have something spewed forth on me. I love doing that stuff, but if the jokes get derivative, you feel it. I think Carter's going into new territory this year as be stops looking for so much approbation at work and enters perhaps into a relationship with [Maria Bello's Dr. Del Amico]. I'm curious to see how he's going to unfold. I know what kind of boy he was. I'm not quite sure what kind of man he's going to be. Can you identify with that? Sure. I'm straddling the same fence at the moment. I know what kind of boy I was, and I know what kind of adolescent I was. Now I'm very curious to see what kind of man I'm going to turn out to be. Choosing 'The Myth of Fingerprints' as your first major film role was a big decision. Careerwise, did it accomplish what you hoped it would? Hopefully, it's too early to tell. [Laughs] I think it's a good movie. It's got flaws and holes all over the place, but I'm proud of it. I don't know how it advanced my career. But I met my girlfriend on it, so in a lot of ways I reaped the benefits before it even came out. We'll come back to her. First, what was it about ,The Myth of Fingerprints' that you related to? When there was a problem, my family didn't get loud; it got quiet. So I understood that kind of silent tension. The thing I really hooked into with [my character] was that something bad led him into this state of emotional paralysis, and he couldn't get his life back on track. When have you felt that way? There have been several times. None have paralyzed me to that extent. Bot there are definitely things I cling to, and I don't move forward. I'm worried now that when ER ends, I won't know what to du with myself. If I cling to enjoying the success, the money and the prestige, then I'm settling myself up for that kind of paralysis. ER has been so all encompassing, I have only a vague recollection of what my life was like before. It's been a while since I did three auditions a day, throwing every script I didn't get in the back of my car. And that's what I'm going back to after the show runs its course. You don't seriously think you'll be waiting tables again? I hope not. But nobody stays up forever. We're all just beginning to realize that ER is never going to happen to any of us again. I appreciate it for what it is, and I'm grateful. But the show dies, and I've got to figure out what I'm going to do after that. As long as you don't do a spinoff. Yeah, Touched by an Intern. That's going to be my new series [Laughs] As you watch this parade of young actors - Skeet Ulrich, Vince Vaughn, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck - being crowned the next big movie star, is there a part of you that thinks, that could have been me? I think my time is going to come. I'm still young. When I started acting in high school, one of the first jobs I was ever even considered for was Dead Poets Society. That movie turned out a whole generation of guys, like Robert Sean Leonard and Ethan Hawke. And you know, they get replaced, with Leonardo DiCaprio and Skeet and the new set of guys. Then there'll be a whole new crop. The trick is keeping one foot in the game and doing your own thing. [Pause] I think. I don't know. That's what I'm trying to figure out. Have you ever considered writing a script for yourself à la 'Swingers' or ‚Good Will Hunting'? You know, I knew those Swingers guys back in the day. Were you the ,Swingers' type? I'd get to tired to do that s---, man. Come 10 o'clock, when Vince [Vaughn] ,would say, ,,Let's go to Vegas," I'd say, ,,You go to Vegas. I'm going to bed." But, yeah, I think about writing. I thought Matt Damon and Ben Affleck did a hell of a good job on Good Will Hunting. I need to work a little harder on my writing before it's up to that level. Are you judgmental of other actors' work? You get very critical of the people who get the jobs you don't get. I met with [director] Curtis Hanson several times about doing the role Guy Pearce did in L.A. Confidential. I really, really wanted it, thought that it was a beautiful script. But when I saw what he did with that part, I thought, jeez, thank God I wasn't in it. I would have turned that movie into a disaster. [Laughs] Let's rewind. Your parents divorced when you were in the second grade. What do you remember from that time? I went through all the textbook feelings: It was my fault; if I'd been better; this, that and the other. I saw a kiddie shrink for a while. What did you talk about? At that age, you don't really get into deep, Freudian stuff. We'd play games like Sorry and Candy Land. I think he was gauging whether the fallout from the divorce was manifesting itself in aggression. Poor Dr. Lulow. I used to make up all sorts of stories, dreams I never really had. It was the first indication to me that I try to tell people what I think they want to hear. [Laughs] I get the impression you were a shy, sensitive kid. I was shy, but I wasn't redusive. [Pause] well, maybe I was. I remember Michael Ehrlich and I used to stay inside at recess and draw Vikings instead of playing. I guess that's redusive behavior. [Laughs] For some reason, I've always felt more comfortable with adults than peers. I was the bane of all my friends' existence, because I'd go over to their house and I'd clear the table and start doing the dishes, and the mother would always say [to my friend] ,,Why can't you be more like Noah?" You lost your virginity at age 13 with an 18-year-old woman at a party. [Uncomfortably] Yeah, leave it at that. That's about as memorable as it gets. I can't believe it wasn't memorable. It wasn't really memorable, believe me. It was over and done with, and I went in the bathroom, made a muscle, thought I was a man and hid from women for the next five years. So it did more harm than good? Probably. I've often wished it had been more monumental. But it was a fluke. It should never have happened. I still thought I was going to make the NBA. I was still collecting Star Wars figures and all that s---. After high school, you spent five years as a struggling actor, until 'ER' came along. What was your daily life like at that point? Initially, I was living on Hollywood Boulevard with my best friend in this dive apartment with orange-mustard shag carpeting. Two 1 8-year-olds, never even done their own laundry before. In auditions you'd walk into a room, piss broke, just reeking of "Please, please give me the job." I used to listen at the door afterward to see if I could hear what they said about me. I stopped doing that after I heard some unkind things. What did you hear? Just a lot of laughter. [Laughs] But those were the carefree days. Those were the days I had zero responsibility. I'm sure I was absolutely miserable every step of the way. I'm sure I was looking at every actor who was working and hating them for it. I'm sure I was as selfish and self-centered as I could ever imagine myself to be. But looking back now, it doesn't seem so bad, because I know how it all ended up. Over the years, how has your family responded to your fame? Boy, oh, boy, people get jaded fast. [Laughs] I got nominated for an Emmy. That was a big deal in my family - everybody called. I gut nominated for my second Emmy - half the people called. First Golden Globe - a couple of people called. Second Golden Globe - nobody called. It just gets blasé after a while. You've said you knew almost from the moment you met your girlfriend Tracy that she was the one. What convinced you? Just a bunch of silly little stuff. She got my jokes. I looked out the window and saw she had a 1964 Pontiac Catalina, which is an almost identical body type to my 1960 Oldsmobile Convertible. I thought that was kismet in and of itself. [Pause] It's the best thing in my life right now, my relationship with Tracy. And every time I talk about it I feel like I'm endangering it in some way. Does that make any sense? Well, it's safe to say that people are rooting for you to be happy. Rest assured, America, I'm happy. She's the most patient and nurturing person I've ever met. As a makeup artist it's her job, besides applying makeup, to apply some self-confidence. I can get pretty moody at times; and maybe because of what she does for a living she takes it all in stride. Tracy has gotten excellent at second-guessing my moods and helping me corral them. I want to read you a quote from USA Weekend, March I0, I996: "I believe that people are perfect for each other for a finite period of time. The notion of there being a yin to your yang or a perfect soul mate is a bit of a romantic ideal." [Aghast] Jesus, I'm a pretentious son of a bitch! Poor USA Weekend. Well, I won't reverse my opinion. When I said that, I just hadn't found it yet, and I assumed that must mean that it's not meant to work out. But I've learned since then that when there are those lulls, it's not a sign you've got to run. It's a sign that maybe you've got to work a little harder. Any thought of getting engaged? Well, everybody I know is getting married these days. Rings are being thrown all over the place. I figure, if I did it now, it would be like getting my second Golden Globe nomination. I wouldn't get very many calls. [Laughs] So I'm waiting until it means something. [Suddenly mortified] Boy, what a f---ing actor I am - relating getting engaged to being nominated for an award. Do you ever think the sort of happiness and stability you have now can be dangerous for an actor? I vacillate on that all the time. I've had moments of unbelievable instability in my life and done great work. And I've had moments when I've felt incredible happiness - I didn't have to worry about money, I didn't have to worry about falling in love - and done great work that way too. I don't know what the answer is. I think now that a normal, happy life is the best thing you could possibly bring to your work. I'm really, really, really hoping that I'm right. You've managed to avoid the notorious young actor pitfalls: drug abuse, biting... I've still got time, man. Don't write me off yet. [Laughs ruefully] Do you see how it happens? Absolutely. When you're talking about insecurity and constant rejection and putting it all under a microscope for the world to see, you're talking about a recipe fur disaster. I have nothing but sympathy fur those guys. Do you just not have those bad-boy urges? Define 'bad-buy urges.' Have I ever wanted to hit somebody? Absolutely. Have I ever wanted to take drugs? Yeah. Have I ever been in a situation where I didn't feel like I was exercising the best judgment? Sure. I'm not putting myself above any of that behavior. Circumstances may have played out differently. I'm still in the upswing of my cycle. When I come down, who knows how it's going to affect me? Looking ahead at your career, what's your deepest fear? [Long pause] I'm worried about how this will sound, but I'm going to say it anyway. Did you watch the Golden Globes? There were two incredibly sad moments that night for me, and they both came in the form of acceptance speeches: one from Burt Reynolds and one from Peter Fonda. Both of them got up and said how wonderful it was to be back, how nice it was to see all these people they hadn't seen for a long time. Something about that struck a wrong chord with me. The thought that I'd ever feel that way - like, if I'm not in the loop, then I'm out of the loop - that's no way to live your life. I'm the biggest Burt Reynolds fan, and if I saw him, I'd sit him down and go [fervently] "What the f-- were you saying that night? You've made great movies. You've got nothing to apologize for. If those people didn't call you, screw 'em. You're Burt Reynolds." [Pause] Whatever career I have, whatever this unfolds into, I hope I'm fine with it. You once said, "I probably won't measure up as a person to people who see me on 'ER'". Why do you think that? Carter has a strong moral backbone and is sweet, romantic, funny and self-effacing. I'm sure a lot of people think, "What an ideal guy. Love to find a guy like that." Noah Wyle ain't him. He's trying. But he's just a different guy. At the end of the day, John Carter is going to be in the television archives and Noah Wyle is still going to be walking around the earth. And I hope when that day comes, I'm ready to be me. Josh Ruttenberg wrote the Report for the March issue of 'US'